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You know you're playing Rogue Trader when…

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- When your response to a Korad Vall's heavy cruiser is 'Ramming Speed and ready the Atomics!' (in your Orion Star Cutter). 

 

- When your high speed flyby results in a flaming hulk and the pirate fleet running.

 

- When the next question your Rogue Trader asks is 'Put another Atomic on my shopping list'.

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- When one of your player, from the very beginning of the game, plan, in game, her mariage, and how to get children, so that her Warrant can be safely kept in her family if she died.
 

- When said planning included, on Scintilla, 16 potential grooms, from the mad son of the Sector Admiral to a famous painter, including famous corsairs and captains, and a chief accountant from Prol IX... with shotgun.

 

- When the wedding "endeavor" included a Conquest galleon with a macro-gift pink ribbon wrapped around the hull, stolen afterward and a stern chase inside Scintilla star-system, boarding attempts, tanks fights against the gold plated train of the Rogue Trader on her ship, and an assassination made under contact from the Inquisition. And an assassination attempt against her with an autocanon sniper on Tarsus Cathedral's steps. Which she survived easily.

 

- When the grooms offers gifts to be selected by the female Rogue Trader as the groom, going from a new gun-cutter to custom fitted implants...

 

- When the chosen one is the chief accountant, who came with a nice bouquet, a whole Profit Factor worth of clerical errors corrected concerning the dynasties taxes, and the head of the responsible of saids errors bottled up inside the bouquet.  Get nicknamed "Bank-manager with Shotgun".

- When the groom needs a  recaf-cup  cut in a Basilisk shell with the stamp I NEED THIS MUCH to begin each new day, thanks to her wife antics

 

- When the equivalent of a yearly production income of a hive is spend by the Rogue trader on genetic selection, artificial uteruses and experiments, to keep  her ovaries safe, and to be sure her next in line will be at least as badass as her/his mom.

 

- When the Rogue Trader got 2 twin boys, so facetious and fearless, that they make Dennis the.Menace looks tame, and that all the bodyguards and officers -including all the others Player characters- carved their own I NEED THIS MUCH recaf' cup.

- When, at age 3, said boys, thanks to the relentless trainings from the others players,  are considered to be the ship's Tenebro Maze, after going all Grimdark Home Alone on a freakin' Slaught & heretical rogue RT boarding team, When they also  manage to steal Bastille's own cruiser under his nose with an other Player Character help, two cherubs, two laspistols, a rope, a hook, and bluff. When all the officers consider theirs predicaments from those two smiling devils beforehand "worth it" after this.

Edited by Mordechai Von Razgriz

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- When the Rogue Trader got 2 twin boys, so facetious and fearless, that they make Dennis the.Menace looks tame, and that all the bodyguards and officers -including all the others Player characters- carved their own I NEED THIS MUCH recaf' cup.

-The GM's next Rogue Trader campaign involves collecting these same recaf mugs, which with the passing centuries are now considered priceless treasures.

Edited by jabberwoky

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^^Which proves more problematic than expected when it is found that said RT and spouse are still quite alive, well, and in their prime! (between rejuv drugs, augmetics, and whatever else a metric gigaton of money can buy).

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^^Which proves more problematic than expected when it is found that said RT and spouse are still quite alive, well, and in their prime! (between rejuv drugs, augmetics, and whatever else a metric gigaton of money can buy).

-When the players realize that their protagonists from the last campaign are the antagonists of this campaign. With the same equipment and dirty tricks they pulled off.

Edited by jabberwoky

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-When your Rogue Trader decides the best way to punish the leader of a failed mutiny is to put him in a voidsuit, reel him out past the reach of the Gellar field on a towline and jump to Warp.

-When that same Rogue Trader grants an audience to some upset clergy who don't want him "Warphaul" anyone ever again, and he agrees that it would be terrible indeed if anyone ever made him do it again. Audience. Over.

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your void master has a special implant that's only function is to store, cut , light , and hold her cigar for her so she can keep both hands on the wheel, because safe driving is important.

 

also the ships pharmacy's most common request is to please have the void master stop dipping her cigars in various combat drugs just to see what happens.

 

The void master is currently thinking of getting a chem-injector so she can spice her stogies up while traveling dirtside.

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-When the campaign becomes a case study of The Evil Overlord List.

 

-The Missionary's solution to the ever-growing number of bastard children from the Rogue Trader's harem is to set up a Schola Progenium.

 

-Within a few years, the ship gains the nickname "The Commissariat's Hive".  Entire Imperial Guard regiments are known to quake in fear if the ship comes near the Spinward Front.

Edited by jabberwoky

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-When your Rogue Trader, captured by her sworn ennemy, got  "sold" to Dark Eldar as she is so tough said ennemy can't torture her as planned.

-When the Dark Eldar, wanting to succour the desesperation of their current batch of slaves, taken from pilgrims dedicated to her, decides to crucify said Rogue Trader to a Rhino in the main arena of the Nexus of Shadows, so that an hunting pack of Fleshwrought Drake can have some fun as a starter.

-When the reaction of the Rogue Trader to her predicament at first was " I don't give a ****".

 

-When she enters an epic rage, breaking the chain holding her to the Rhino, and started flinging the bloody tank as a improvised flail thanks to her augments AND faith powers, for the unique reason one carnosaur eat her hat.
 

- When she is currently single handely, conquering and cleaning the Nexxus of shadows with her Rhino-flail, street by street, wall after wall, to make them pay for her hat.

- When the rest of the crew, instead of trying to help her as they were going to, just stay in orbit, to shoot down those that manage to flee, and to record the whole onslaught.

 

- When the Astropath broadcast this directly to the High Lords of Terra, with juste the following text "Why we should have our official crusade to get the Koronus Sector, damni

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When trapped on a planet by massive, self-sustaining storms, the plans to escape consist of repeated high-yield airburst munitions delivered from orbit (and trying to fly the shuttle up through the overpressure before the storms close in again, while dodging the follow-up shells).

 

And, the backup plan involves using wreckage to build an anode/cathode array to harness the storms to electroplate the planet. Because, you'know... gold.

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When your Deathworlder Pilot / Arch-Militant / Abhuman warrior's first verbalized thought upon the discovery of a squid-like xeno species is, "I wonder if they would taste good battered and fried.."

 

When you find your only regret after vapourizing the atmosphere of a planet and essentially exterminating this entire species, is that you didn't press-gang more slaves.

 

Then the Explorator assures you that he can clone more.

 

...and the Arch-Militant is excited because he actually might get a chance to deep fry one now.

Edited by WildGiller

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When your Deathworlder Pilot / Arch-Militant / Abhuman warrior's first verbalized thought upon the discovery of a squid-like xeno species is, "I wonder if they would taste good battered and fried.."

-The ship's unofficial nickname is the "Adeptus Culinaria"

Edited by jabberwoky

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-After the Rogue Trader acquires his harem, the wives from Feral worlds become rather bored from being pampered all day.  The Rogue Trader decides they will be the headliners for the new gladiator arena he's built.

 

-When the words "Seneschal" and "Villain from a Die Hard movie" become interchangeable.

 

-When two players have Arch-Militants as characters, they compete to make the most powerful character.  The GM arbitrates this by using "Marbo" as a unit of measurement.

 

-The gladiator training for the arena proves popular enough that the Rogue Trader seriously considers putting nearly half of his wives in power armor and renting them out to the Ecclesiarchy.

Edited by jabberwoky

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During Chargen...

 

RT Player - Ooohh, it says I get a Xeno-Pelt cloak, can it be Eldar?

Eldar Player - I hate you.

 

later...

 

Me - Ok, so you two need to talk and figure out why you have a scuzzy space elf on your ship.

RT Player - Well I figure I just left a trail of jellybeans into the ship and he followed them and we just kept him.

Eldar Player - I hate you.

 

I predict this going well in the future.

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Quote from last mission.

 

Explorator leaves to discuss "the arcane mysteries of the omnissiah" with the garrison of a remote mechanicus outpost. The Rogue Trader and his seneschal (hoping to bag a supply contract and refit agreement out of this) are left kicking their heels in the well-appointed waiting area along with other supplicants and assorted mechanicus flunkies.

 

Five minutes later, the explorator runs back past them at full tilt with no explanation. As she passes them, she yells "Not My Fault Not My Fault Not My Fault!!!!!!!".  The other two explorers start running after her as fast as they can on general principles. A few seconds later, a full five-strong cohort of cybernetica battle-engines gone homicidal thunder through the wall, firing at everything that moves.

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-The phrase "negligent genocide" comes up regularly.

-The ship's chaplain regularly bisects Orks in one swipe with his SPACE CHAINSAW BATTLEAXE.

-Enemy ships almost never get salvaged because the alcoholic gunner has a strange obsession with lancing warp cores.

-By decree of the captain, the ship's First Officer is a cat named Vice Admiral Whiskers.

Edited by IndianaWalsh

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