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You know you're playing Rogue Trader when…

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When your hat gets shot off your head and your AM doesnt say anything concerning your bald spot {Yes, Rain {my AM} noticed that Ben {our RT} was going bald, had to roll fellowship to say he had something on his chin instead, barely passed}

When you corner a target and he manages to get the drop on your AM {Rain is still unhappy of nearly getting choked to death and eating a bullet}

When you decide to stop at a seemingly barren world and find a single dude two and a half feet tall and speaking in syntax dialog advising you to Do or Do Not

When "Senechal" and "Bothan Spynet" somehow get mixed up and nobody notices

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... when the countermeasure against a swarm of carnivorous alien wasps is not bug spray but grenades, shot mid-air. 

... when the Arch-Militant forget that his Power Armour runs on battery and is forced to fight almost naked in the middle of a jungle.

... when the Explorator that could have powered it has been left 100 km behind to fix the lander after the rough landing, despite the presence of another functioning lander and multiple Tech -underlings.

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When your Am decides to try out a new outfit and ends up acting like a Princess with a bad attitude because she somehow is the sole heir to a forge world and all its gold

When your RT and TechPriest and Missionary look exactly like three certain men

When your Am and Missionary end up engaged and nobody notices

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When you get into a boarding action with Rak'gol and your Arch-militant is captured.

After a few weeks you track down the ship and launch a rescue/bodily remains retrieval mission, only to find that s/he' taken over the ship, the Rak'gol having been awed by his/her combat prowess and worshiping them as a god.

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On ‎9‎/‎17‎/‎2017 at 0:05 AM, Ni Fang said:

When your Am decides to try out a new outfit and ends up acting like a Princess with a bad attitude because she somehow is the sole heir to a forge world and all its gold

What, you mean like her? http://rustyandco.com/comic/22/

On ‎10‎/‎9‎/‎2017 at 5:11 PM, InquistiorCalinx said:

When you get into a boarding action with Rak'gol and your Arch-militant is captured.

After a few weeks you track down the ship and launch a rescue/bodily remains retrieval mission, only to find that s/he' taken over the ship, the Rak'gol having been awed by his/her combat prowess and worshiping them as a god.

When your ascended Dark Heresy group joins the campaign since they find Rak'gol DNA/methedology to be just a tad to similar too the ancient threat of the Jorgull to call it a coincidence.

Edited by Marcus102

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On 10/9/2017 at 6:13 PM, Marcus102 said:

What, you mean like her? http://rustyandco.com/comic/22/

Close but not quite; I'd find the picture but its not easy

When the Dark Hersey squad shows up at your Am's homeworld only to get driven off the planet because thanks to the Am's bloodline even the newborn children can defend themselves

Watching a certain picholo {Bruce Lee's Enter the Dragon} is a way to pick up pointers for your AM

The RT somehow ends up being the half brother to the Missionary who is the uncle of the Navigator who is the aunt of the void master. All of which dpo not have any ties by family other then picking up off the street to the cook, a Ratman thing named Remy. All of which including Remy arent related in any manner to the maniac known as the AM. {Just working out this family tree was fun!! Rain is an only child, but married to the Missionary now}

Your RT wants to find a treasure ship known as The Gilded Star which is rumored to have the weath of a million worlds within its endless holds

Your GM makes ten hours of game time, 6 hours game session with 4 hours shopping.

The Am is the only one in the crew without any implanets or the like whatsoever, she is also not tainted or tempted in any manner by chaos once her mind is focused on the one thing she cant refuse..... money

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... when the AM and the Tech-Priests decides that the best countermeasure against Eldar Warlocks are meltas, heavy machine guns and grenades. And they are right.

… when the Navigator decides that the best countermeasure against an Eldar Ranger sniper is drafting his las-pistol a go get him at close range. And he is wrong.

… when back in space the GM send in the opponent with the biggest ship as an expedient to force the players to leave.

… when the players decide instead to fight it, cementing the decision by shouting “Fire it up”!

…when they also attempt to board it but ends up with their own ship being taken by the enemy.

… when before running to the guncutters to escape, the only thing they decide to take away beside their personal belongings is the content of the trophy room.

… when the staff that served the Dynasty for generations is left to their fate because they fill the guncutters with the elite mercenary troops that costed them quite a fortune.

… when the adventure ends with this cliffhangers and will resume after a few months, leaving the GM wondering what insane plan the players will draft in the meantime.

Edited by Sergeant Unclepear

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When your AM wants to buy a sword and the guy wont sell it so she steals it and the guy doesnt seem to care and then six weeks later your AM is ambushed by a thug of some form and on him is the orders to kill the AM because she stole the weapon and it sparks a war with the Offico Assassinarium {Which they dont want; Rain had so much fun destroying them!}

When your RT, AM, Ork Weirdboy, Techpriest and Missionary have a game of strip poker and the RT only loses his outragous hat in the game while the Am loses nearly everything {Yes Rain is pretty but isnt good at poker whatsoever}

When your Missionary wants a night on the town but the RT says no because there's not enough flamer fuel

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When after realizing that their crew is too weak for proper combat, they hire an ork mercenary and create a spore farm in the lower decks.

when said ork mercenary is the most level headed of all of the party.

when the newly finished ship that they had been following, which belonged to a known pirate lord, suddenly stops and asks for assistance they take this opportunity to board their ship..... and fix their engines.

when after that they do not notice that one of their personal guard randomly has a Russian accent like the pirates did

when after meeting a clearly heretical abominable intelligence that requests bits of theirs crews brains and offers to purge weakness from their ship, they give it what it wants and run errands for it.

when their kill count after two orbital bombardments, an ork infestation on board the ship, shooting up a feudal town, and attacking a heavily fortified shipyard, is 27... 28 if you include the executed body guard that failed to praise the emperor within a second after having a friendly grenade detonate in his face.

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When real life and the game get so mixed up and you find yourself plotting your most hated enemey's demise only to remember its Thanksgiving Dinner and you're SUPPOSED to like your cousin not plot his murder, however if he likes your team it means he's got a good heart, but if he doesnt, hope he gets food poisoning....

When Tuesday becomes "Raid a Garrison Day" and the Inqusition asks no questions

When your trophy room is worth more than half the galaxy

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On 9/14/2017 at 4:43 AM, Sergeant Unclepear said:

... when the Arch-Militant forget that his Power Armour runs on battery and is forced to fight almost naked in the middle of a jungle.

 

When there is no 'almost' and the arch militant fights dark eldar wyches bare naked.

When the music mostly comes from the soundtracks to Heavy Metal, Mortal Kombat, Conan the Barbarian, and Dune.

When the players name their ship the Night City.

When the layers measure their ships firepower in 'Death Stars'.

When the players point out that if the torpedoes have virus warheads full of life eater virus, how to they NOT have an exterminatus weapon?

 

 

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...when the plan to infiltrate a rival ship docked at Port Wander involve the Astropath possessing the body of an off-duty guard in a bar.

...when the possessed guard then get arrested on board for being drunk and ordered to clean the latrines. Which he does.

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7 hours ago, Sergeant Unclepear said:

...when the plan to infiltrate a rival ship docked at Port Wander involve the Astropath possessing the body of an off-duty guard in a bar.

...when the possessed guard then get arrested on board for being drunk and ordered to clean the latrines. Which he does.

You must be in my game sessions too huh ? ;)

 

..... When the Missionary wants to go to a tropical world but his wife, the AM, says no because she hates sand

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...when the Astropath, still on board in the possessed guard body, in order: possesses a Tech-Priest, generating an incursion of demonic voices in the process; dominates two guards and have them shoot a third; enter the cargo bay and get spotted by another Tech-priest downloading the video of its own demonic incursion from a terminal; dominates the new Tech-priest while the former get shot by the now domination-free guards, steal a Lander and crashes it on the nearest dock;  dominate a firefighter, generating a second incursion of demonic voices, before eloping back to the party with the video disk.

…when all of this happened because the party’s Explorator refused to infiltrate the ship- the party former admiral, captured by a rival – to recover other compromising data, because despite having faced Xeno horrors of all kind, being recognized and arrested by the ship’s guards it’s “too great of a risk”.

…when the party then send the video to the Inquisition, who proceed to impound the ship, and then strike a deal to have it back.

…when the Mechanicus don’t pushes too much its investigation on the Tech-Priests possession-and-murder spree because you tipped them off about the proscribed sentient probe stored on board in time for them to recover it.

Edited by Sergeant Unclepear

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2 hours ago, InquistiorCalinx said:

When the Explorator holds a funeral for the macrocannon

When the RT, Missionary, AM and Senchal attend because, 1 the RT is the leader, 2, the Missionary is giving the eulogy, 3 the AM used to use the thing personally, and 4 The Senchal having to calculate the cost of replacement and funeral costs

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...when pirate ships' names are titles of heavy metal songs

...when Chaos ships' names are titles of black metal songs

...when it's easier to hit a ship travelling at sub-light speed ten thousands miles away than it is to make a double turn with your own.

...when "Now that we have captured that Chaos slave-ship, do we free the slaves and enslave the crew or leave it as it is?" is a reasonable question.

...when some prisoners are given to the Inquisition, the crew in return demand to witness the show interrogatory. 

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On 7/26/2018 at 3:47 AM, Sergeant Unclepear said:

...when pirate ships' names are titles of heavy metal songs

...when Chaos ships' names are titles of black metal songs 

...When your own ships' name is a Classic Rock song. {Yes, our ship is actually named "Devil With A Blue Dress On"}

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On 7/29/2018 at 3:15 PM, Ni Fang said:

...When your own ships' name is a Classic Rock song. {Yes, our ship is actually named "Devil With A Blue Dress On"}

When your ships have mottoes in High Gothic because it's tradition... That Occasionally translate to Song Titles or Lyrics.

Avenging Angel. Motto: Non Timetis Messor (Don't Fear the Reaper)

Valkyrie. Motto: Sagittent ut Suspensam (Shoot to Thrill)

Liberty. Motto: Non Tangere (Can't touch this)
 

Edited by tomyironmane
cannot assume people understand my poorly translated Latin

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...when the GM decides to do a refresher session to the players about how their abilities and equipments work.

...when the session is still played, and take place in a bar inspired from the lounge in The Shining during a Warp-induced dream

...when each of the players' characters is served a unique cocktail designed by the GM with actual ingredients from Warhammer lore

...when the only concer of the players at the end of the session is: "How do we get back there ?"

Edited by Sergeant Unclepear

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... when the basic response to being target by an unseen sniper us not "duck and cover" but "suppressive fire"

... when the most reasonable motivation for not wiping out every heathen city on a planet from the orbit is that macrocannon shells are not free, nor is the Rogue Trader time

... when the solution is striking a trade deal with the heathens, to last until it covers the cost of their postponed annihilation

 

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...when the first answer to a help request coming from another ship is: "What's in it for us?"

...when the first question the party ask after finding a Grand-Cruiser space hulk is: "Can we tow it?"

...when they decide not to try because it's quicker and cheaper anyway to buy one new than repair it.

...when the first thing the party do after boarding the hulk bridge is looking for something to plunder for their trophy room.

 

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