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You know you're playing Rogue Trader when…

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26 minutes ago, Marcus102 said:

When your new player decides to make a double-agent seneschal and you realize that, in your two PCs to a player game, there are more factions that the seneschal can be a double-agent for than there are PCs.

When you fix that problem by being an agent for ALL of them.

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4 hours ago, InquistiorCalinx said:

When you fix that problem by being an agent for ALL of them.

When that means that, among others, you are working for the Tzeeentch cult that sees the dynasty as the greatest force for change in the sector, the other Tzeeentch cult that just wants to **** with people, the Ordo Chronus Inquisitor that recently married the RT, The Ordo Hereticus Inquisitor who may or may not have been killed by pirates before the first session, and the no less than four Inquisitorial Conclaves that are fighting each other to determine whether or not to perform Exterminatus on the system and who get's credit for it.

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... when, while stationed at the Egaria Omega xenoarcheological dig, the Rogue Trader and the party give up all conveniences and pass the night sleeping on the floor of the storage hab to guard the recovered artifacts, despite having dozens of household troops whom they could give the task to.

... when after killing a Rak Gol the Archmilitant smash its head to see how big the brain is and thus how much military strategy he can expect from the others.

 

 

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15 hours ago, Sergeant Unclepear said:

...when the Explorator catch an Eldar ranger by surprise and wants to shoot her in a leg "to capture her alive", despite the fact that he's weilding a melta gun at the moment. 

When that is the only weapon that won't hit the torso along with the leg.

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...when fighting against a though alien in an eclosed space, the party orders their thirty troopers  to threw all the grenades they have againt the monster, despite the obvious risk of an unlucky ricochet. 

...when thus they consider a success that only ten troopers got killed by their own grenades.

 

Edited by Sergeant Unclepear

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14 hours ago, Sergeant Unclepear said:

...when fighting against a though alien in an eclosed space, the party orders their thirty troopers  to threw all the grenades they have againt the monster, despite the obvious risk of an unlucky ricochet. 

...when thus they consider a success that only ten troopers got killed by their own grenades.

 

When the troopers ALSO consider that a success

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When Khorne tells the Arch-Militant to chillax

When Slaneesh tells the RT he needs rehab for his obscura addiction

When Tzeentch reaches for the headache medication after listen to one of the seneschals less complicated plans

When Nurgle tells the Void Master to ease off on the virus torpedoes

When a Necron calls the Explorator a soulless machine when he asks for some of their tech

When they give him their tech anyway because they know he'll improve on it

When the Dark Eldar Kabalite tortures the crew.... With bad jokes and bag pipe/accordion music.

When the Dark Eldar haemonculi the friendliest and creepiest doctor in the universe. (yes, that friendliness is genuine)

When the above accepts being experimented on as payment for her services

When the crew still prefer her to the Explorator, due to his bedside manner being far worse, and him experimenting on them blatantly and without consent

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18 hours ago, InquistiorCalinx said:

When Khorne tells the Arch-Militant to chillax

When Slaneesh tells the RT he needs rehab for his obscura addiction

When Tzeentch reaches for the headache medication after listen to one of the seneschals less complicated plans

When Nurgle tells the Void Master to ease off on the virus torpedoes

When a Necron calls the Explorator a soulless machine when he asks for some of their tech

When they give him their tech anyway because they know he'll improve on it

When the Dark Eldar Kabalite tortures the crew.... With bad jokes and bag pipe/accordion music.

When the Dark Eldar haemonculi the friendliest and creepiest doctor in the universe. (yes, that friendliness is genuine)

When the above accepts being experimented on as payment for her services

When the crew still prefer her to the Explorator, due to his bedside manner being far worse, and him experimenting on them blatantly and without consent

When, not only are they more likely to survive an encounter with the Haemonculi, but the experiment is likely to have positive effects for the experimented upon.

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... when the Astropath start capturing enemies alive to create her own "puppet" show.

... when in battle you have dozens of guards defending you, but still charge alone in the midst of the enemy because a chainsword and your faith in the Emperor are the only protections you need.

... and you are actually deadlier than your dozens of guards. 

... when during a banquet you miresably fail to seduce a female rival, but you manage to amiably chit-chat with the master of a sadistic slavers' cabal.

 

 

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...when the plan to murder a rival involves a psychically-dominated suicide bomber with a remote-activated explosive charge planted in its stomach. 

... when the secondo plan to murder said rival involves a grapple-hawk and a handbag full of grenades.

... when both plans fails, but the Rogue Trader is still satisfied anyway because he ruffled some feathers and because the main plan is to obliterate his rival along with his ship once in the void.

Edited by Sergeant Unclepear

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...when the players, upon arriving at their outpost on a hollowed out fortress planetoid, hear about a slaughtered squad and "the spiders" and decide to make the sensible choice of collapsing the tunnels in that direction

...when there is no way that you can, as a GM, let the fact that they didn't bother to ask if there was anyone else down those tunnels not end up badly

...when your new player is introduced to the campaign by having a conversation with a guard that includes such phrases as: escaped lab creatures; mutiny; disposal of oversight; pay no attention to the guard that passed out drunk (in a very "pay no attention to the man behind the curtain way")

...when this is the combat oriented one of your linked campaigns

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4 hours ago, Magnus Grendel said:

When the wierdboy navigator manages to screw up steering badly enough that you arrive a year early......on the other side of the sector at an imperial navy outpost....in an ork gunship.

This ends "well".

 

When in the process of convincing the navy captains that you meant to show up there so that you can register your captured vessel you open a vid-link and say, "How dare you doubt my authenticity. Just look at my hat!" [points to his hat which is the size of a human torso, contains an inbuilt hand flamer, and has a brass plate on the front saying 'Rogu Trada, Da Boss']

 

When the captain you are talking to says "I am so terribly sorry sir. But if I may, why didn't you start with that?"

Edited by Marcus102

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When their first response to encountering a village on a feral world is to shoot it up and force them to worship them as gods.

When their attempts to give medical assistance one of the villagers whose arm they cleaved off results in incinerating the poor man.

When the PCs response to the ship making funny noises is setting off multiple demolition charges in order to find the source of it.

 

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... when the Navigator advances toward the enemies, he doesn't order the guards to follow him but to stand back.

... when the way to distinguish between mutineers and innocent workers in a sector of the ship is: none. "Kill'em all, the Emperor will recognize his own".

... when the Rogue Trader ask the Explorator to record all the battles through its Servo-skull, so later he can watch over and over his best killing shots.

... when the death of hundreds of ratings goes unnoticed, but the death of a Kroot mercenary is enough to spoil your day.

...when the Astropath dominate people to do things, even if they were willing to do it, because she has serious trust issues.

 

 

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On 8/31/2017 at 8:55 PM, Ni Fang said:

- When you somehow convince your GM to let you have a baneblade on the premise of "Ok fine but each member must test fellowship + Forbidden Lore {Fashion}"

- When you end up with 14 of your very own Baneblade tanks

Forbidden Lore {Fashion}????????

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On 9/4/2017 at 5:51 AM, Angel of Death said:

Forbidden Lore {Fashion}????????

Well, there can be Common/Scholastic/Forbidden Lore on the same subject - e.g. Mechanicus. Fashion may have all 3, why not? :D

21 hours ago, InquistiorCalinx said:

Was mentioned in a previous page.

On the first:

On 8/2/2013 at 3:03 AM, Alasseo said:

Forbidden Lore (Fashion) becomes and actual skill. And plot relevant.

The seneschal sells a genestealer cult into slavery without realizing (should have taken Forbidden Lore (Fashion)...)

 

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... when the standard procedure when meeting a ship that doesn't answer radio communication is boarding it.

... when the Astropath is the best of the party at reading the ship's sensors, while the Explorator is so bad at it the rest of the party start to wonder if he's an imposter.

... when the Rogue Trader decides that the best way to survey the surface of a new planet is to do it on person, with a small flyer and carrying with him the few people that are fundamental for the functioning of the ship.

... when this obviously ends with the flyer crashed in a swamp and the party basically re-enacting Pitch Black during the night. 

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