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You know you're playing Rogue Trader when…

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-The RT's parties are so wild that they end up summoning Slaneesh, who joins in on the fun.

-Your red shirts can outfight everything short of Terminator Space Marines.

-Your ship has killed more net vessels through Ramming then any other method.

-The inquisition is still deciding on wether or not the PC's birth was an act of heresy.

-The inquisition starts calling the RT the fight god of chaos

-You don't phone Holy Terra, Holy Terra phones you.

-Abaddon sends you letters asking for advice.

-You buy random planets and blow them up to keep up crew morale.

-The lower decks of the ships are considered more dangerous than all Death Planets, the tyranids, and the warp.

-Your Explorator doesn't understand the word "enough"

-Your Arch-millitant always comes up with a good reason for why negotiations always end in gunfire.

-The Missionary uses so much fire that he finds normal room tempature to cold for him.

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When your rival Rogue Traders marvel at your golden and jewel encrusted toilet.  

 

Is it nicknamed "The Golden Throne"? :D

 

It's tempting to call it that, but that might be blasphemous.  

 

So?  Find me a Rogue Trader who hasn't done something blasphemous for fun and profit.

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So?  Find me a Rogue Trader who hasn't done something blasphemous for fun and profit.

 

 

I've gone almost eight months of game play without a single visit from an Inquisitor, and I'd like to keep it that way.  Frankly I'd rather not have him show up and say, "Have you been comparing your gilded toilet to the Golden Throne?!"  

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When the following happens between the Explorator and the Big Mek

 

Mek: Hey, Explora, I needs your help with sumpthin.

 

Explorator: Sure, what do you need?

 

Mek: Da Mizonary has been down lately, I wanna make him a present to cheer 'em up. I'z thinking sumpthin dats a combination plasma blasta and flama-burna at da same time; Dat way he has twice da haratek burnin powah! Dat should lift his mood.

 

Explorator: That's insane, likely impossible, and possibly heretek. I'm in.

 

When after some trial and error, you end up with a something that shoots a jet of plasma mixed with promethium, has the maximal, overheats and flame qualities. The missionary is pleased.

 

Sometime later, this also happens.

 

Mek. Explora, I'z been thinking about blastas.

 

Explorator: I'm listening.

 

Mek. Dey mostly fira High-dro-gin, right? And de do so with magantizem?

 

Explorator: In a nutshell, yes.

 

Mek. Well, is high-dro-gin really da best fing? I mean, all da elemantz can be plazma, can;t dey? So why not fira, say, Iron? It burnz hotta, it's heavya so it'll hit harda, and Iron is more effected by magnetz, so it'll be moar accurat and go furtha, fasta!

 

Explorator: That's insane and brilliant!

 

Mek: It'z my idea, whys you so surprized?

 

Explorator: But with all that extra heat, the containment fields would be tasked to the point of failure, not to mention the extra mass would redeuce the already limited number of shots, not to mention require extra power to fire....

 

Mek. Sounds like wez got some word da to!

 

Explorator: Let's get right on it

 

Mek and Explorator: *high-five*

 

after a good while of trial and error, a few third degree burns and a few holes melted in the floor/plasma drop-downs (which fortunately didn't hit anyone; people have long since learned not to stand under the "explora-mek workshop" as the crew call it), they incorporate a lasgun clip to provide extra power to the modified containment field, used higher grade materials for the containment flask, and upped the propelling field, thus giving them 50% more range, +5 damage, and the tearing and accurate qualities.

 

When the two later go to a Forge World to present their new designs for approval and production for general use, there is a long silence before one of the Magos asks:

 

Magos: Iron has properties that make it anathema to psykers and warp-beings when properly prepared and blessed; Do you think you could preform such rituals upon the iron plasma?

 

Magos 2: Fire and promethium also have such effects, could it still be prepared as such despite the presence of plasma in your "flama-blasta" as the ork put it?

 

Magos 3: I would like to voice my disappointment that you have not yet attempted to combine iron plasma and promethium in said device.

 

Explorator: give us a week or two and we'll have the prototypes.

 

Mek: and weel bless da iron plasma AND da promethium, too! *yells for missionary to get his "conse-kraton kit"*

 

Said devices are all built, and the Inquisition contracts the two to build them for their agents.

Edited by InquistiorCalinx

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LOL I Always figured a mek and anyone remotely admech would get along like a torch and a can of gasoline...

 

Explorator: "Now, first, we shall rouse and wake the dormant machine spirits..."

 

Mekaniak: *starts hitting machines with his spanner* "OI! WAKE UP YOU LAZY DOLTS!"

 

Explorator: "D'oooooooooooooooh!"

Edited by Robin Graves

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LOL I Always figured a mek and anyone remotely admech would get along like a torch and a can of gasoline...

 

Explorator: "Now, first, we shall rouse and wake the dormant machine spirits..."

 

Mekaniak: *starts hitting machines with his spanner* "OI! WAKE UP YOU LAZY DOLTS!"

 

Explorator: "D'oooooooooooooooh!"

rofl!

 

In all likelyhood there would be a good bit of that before they got to the stage I mentioned.

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LOL I Always figured a mek and anyone remotely admech would get along like a torch and a can of gasoline...

 

Explorator: "Now, first, we shall rouse and wake the dormant machine spirits..."

 

Mekaniak: *starts hitting machines with his spanner* "OI! WAKE UP YOU LAZY DOLTS!"

 

Explorator: "D'oooooooooooooooh!"

rofl!

 

In all likelyhood there would be a good bit of that before they got to the stage I mentioned.

 

 

In fairness, I suspect that attitude is not entirely lacking from the Adeptus Mechanicus. Just take a look at the following extract from Runic Spaceflight - An Introduction; Naval Flight Manual W110E:

 

Strike the first rune upon the engine's casing employing the chosen wrench. Its tip should be anointed with the oil of engineering using the proper incantation when the auspices are correct. Strike the second rune upon the engine's casing employing the arc-tip of the power-driver. If the second rune is not good, a third rune may be struck in like manner to the first. This is done according to the true ritual laid down by Scotti the Enginseer. A libation should be offered. If this sequence is properly observed the engines may be brought to full activation by depressing the large panel marked "ON".

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In fairness, I suspect that attitude is not entirely lacking from the Adeptus Mechanicus. Just take a look at the following extract from Runic Spaceflight - An Introduction; Naval Flight Manual W110E:

 

Strike the first rune upon the engine's casing employing the chosen wrench. Its tip should be anointed with the oil of engineering using the proper incantation when the auspices are correct. Strike the second rune upon the engine's casing employing the arc-tip of the power-driver. If the second rune is not good, a third rune may be struck in like manner to the first. This is done according to the true ritual laid down by Scotti the Enginseer. A libation should be offered. If this sequence is properly observed the engines may be brought to full activation by depressing the large panel marked "ON".

 

 

Then there's the "Rite of Percussive Maintenance" I.E smack it with something. Also the "Technical Knock" talent, used for unjamming guns, which is more or less implied to involve smacking the side of the thing.

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When a rival attempts to insult you by calling your ship a garbage scow, you ignore him and walk away. A few years latter, what he thought was a victory turns into defeat when your new ship shows up with full broadsides of weaponised garbage macro-cannons, which you always have ammo for since you have also cornered the sector wide waste disposal gig almost on accident. 

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when circumstances make the GM's only options:

 

1. extreme railroading

 

2. TPK

 

3. let the RT keep the Silver Ship as his flagship

I want details on how #3 became an option in the first place.

 

Also, the AdMech wants the RT to turn the Silver Ship over to them right about now.

The Inquisition is interested in getting their hands on it too.

Ditto any other Rogue Trader Dynasty.

Ditto any faction with a vague interest in technology. Loyalist, Chaos, Heretical, Heretek, etc.

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when circumstances make the GM's only options:

 

1. extreme railroading

 

2. TPK

 

3. let the RT keep the Silver Ship as his flagship

I want details on how #3 became an option in the first place.

 

Also, the AdMech wants the RT to turn the Silver Ship over to them right about now.

The Inquisition is interested in getting their hands on it too.

Ditto any other Rogue Trader Dynasty.

Ditto any faction with a vague interest in technology. Loyalist, Chaos, Heretical, Heretek, etc.

 

They brought the spare geller field and over two decades of rations with them when they boarded.

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when circumstances make the GM's only options:

 

1. extreme railroading

 

2. TPK

 

3. let the RT keep the Silver Ship as his flagship

I want details on how #3 became an option in the first place.

 

Also, the AdMech wants the RT to turn the Silver Ship over to them right about now.

The Inquisition is interested in getting their hands on it too.

Ditto any other Rogue Trader Dynasty.

Ditto any faction with a vague interest in technology. Loyalist, Chaos, Heretical, Heretek, etc.

 

They brought the spare geller field and over two decades of rations with them when they boarded.

 

 

I admire their initiative.

 

But you can always do a time-skip. Ships can end up left drifting for decades or centuries at a time undisturbed. And if the vessel is disturbed, say by just about any other faction, hilarity can ensue. ;)

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When your Rogue Trader is Hank Scorpio, your Seneschal is David Xanatos, Your Explorator is either Rick (Rick and Morty) or Tim Taylor, your Arch-Militant is Rico Rodriguez (Just Cause), your Void Master is Jack Sparrow, Your Astropath is a call center agent, your Navigator (in appearance and ability) is the basilisk from Harry Potter, and your missionary is the priest from Futurama 

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