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You know you're playing Rogue Trader when…

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Wait...Wonka isn't a sociopath? Huh.

When you feel the need to double check if it is worth going back to the society you are a ridiculously wealthy noble in.

When you spend a third of your days making funny faces to scare the demons outside your high-tech spaceship.

When your response to 'Can you come home?' Is "Sorry Prime Directive".

When you are not only expected to breed with your harem slaves, but also adopt children so that when you die, there are too many targets for all of the assassins to kill before one of them claims your warship.

When half those assassins were hired by your old 'friends'.

When the other half work for a bunch of weridos who worship your warship and wear red.

When you convince the family you've been feuding with to protect your myriad of progeny because the insuring conflict amongst the heirs will do more damage than their efforts for the last thousand years.

When it is all a trap, created by you and your secret 3 eyed spouse.

When jumping from a spaceship into atmospheric reentry is a better idea than getting an 'evil' glare from said spouse.

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.... Explorator starts an ork farm in one of the cargo holds, so he can build his own tribe while also studying the orks.

 

.... After some experiences with warp eels, a lab with a "warp space aquarium" (gellar & warp drive hereteking) is built. RT  at some point thinks that "drowning mutineers in the warp aquarium" is a great idea. First trial is done with public screening throughout the ship. About 30 000 crew members got some insanity points. That's never attempted again.

 

..... Cutting off, ambushing, kidnapping and then ransoming rival Rogue Traders (and heirs) has become more profitable than arms-dealing (macrobatteries).

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..... Cutting off, ambushing, kidnapping and then ransoming rival Rogue Traders (and heirs) has become more profitable than arms-dealing (macrobatteries).

 

When someone does this to you, you bear them no ill will and pay the ransom, simply stating "Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, after all."

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You know you are playing RT when your explorers decide they need more PF and creates a plantation of orks where the plan is to use ork meat as a substitute for corpse starch.

all them nice green vitamins 

Edited by MrImperator

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When your Assassin has a kill count so high he is worshipped as an invisible Angel of the Emperor, and everyone not in your inner circle still thinks he is your pleasure slave with no useuseful skills... Outside of pleasure.

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Assassin: "Now i shall kill you... with pleasure!"

Victim: "What?!"

Assassin: "Never mind, I'll just stab you instead."

Victim "Aaarggh!"

 

When your Assassin has a kill count so high he is worshipped as an invisible Angel of the Emperor, and everyone not in your inner circle still thinks he is your pleasure slave with no useuseful skills... Outside of pleasure.

 

2387534dad134b37a0e02aa7716e5b358da544bb

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Not where I was going with it, but hey, if it gets results...

Note to self; Double check that isn't what the Assassin does.

Actually...

you know your playing RT when you checking your colleagues methods not because they might be amoral, but because it may reflect badly on the boss's reputation in the sack

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...I don't get reference.

Or why hats are so important to the earlier contributors. I assume it is similar to how group treats belt buckles.

Its really a joke. We're just screwing around. The hats are important because we all choose to place importance on it. Similar to your belt buckles.

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...I don't get reference.

Or why hats are so important to the earlier contributors. I assume it is similar to how group treats belt buckles.

 

Well, the hat thing is something you found in a lot off groups, as a way of showing off. Might come from Internet jokes about hats in the Catholic church, hat galore in Team Forteress 2, or whatever. Then, it become a common joke.

 

First time though I heard of a RT team using belt buckles as a symbol of ostentatious wealth, instead of hats, uniforms or medals, or gold plated anything..

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...I don't get reference.

Or why hats are so important to the earlier contributors. I assume it is similar to how group treats belt buckles.

 

HK 47, an assassin droid from Knights of the Old Republic, known for being funny in a deadpan, sociopathic way and calling organics "meatbags".

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While your Rogue Trader is admired by the Imperium for his dedication for hunting down packs of Elder and wiping them out, in truth the only reason he is doing so is because he is on a personal mission to aquire a matching smoking jacket and bathrobe made out of the flesh of Elder Farseers.

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While your Rogue Trader is admired by the Imperium for his dedication for hunting down packs of Elder and wiping them out, in truth the only reason he is doing so is because he is on a personal mission to aquire a matching smoking jacket and bathrobe made out of the flesh of Elder Farseers.

 

When this causes the RT to gain the fear trait to Dark Eldar, because this creeps them out.

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While your Rogue Trader is admired by the Imperium for his dedication for hunting down packs of Elder and wiping them out, in truth the only reason he is doing so is because he is on a personal mission to aquire a matching smoking jacket and bathrobe made out of the flesh of Elder Farseers.

 

When this causes the RT to gain the fear trait to Dark Eldar, because this creeps them out.

When Asdrubael Vect asks if you could make a second matching pair. And make it appropriately spiky. With their bones.

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When they do so because they want to add his memoirs to the Library's collection.

When you find it more economical to just buy out all of the ammo for your rival's signature weapon than invest in more armour.

When 'ram the planet' is not only a viable plan: but a divine duty to end a xenos threat.

Edited by Shadow070mni

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When dooming 50,000 Imperial Guardsman due to purposefully exploding a warp drive on a hulked ship near the planet during a space fight is considered a justifiable loss, but not being to stabilize 2 eldar found in stasis on a ruined ghostship is a serious pain in the neck for the explorers, in particular the genetor techpriest. 

When plans of dealing with heretec-inhabited and heavily shielded Yu'Vath ruins on a sparsely inhabited mining planet include a tactic referred to as the "asteroid relocation program" and the end effect is a continent-wide devastation and massive volcanic activity.

When, after the previous, you provide the owner of the planet with a mostly accurate report of how this will, in the long run, significantly boost mining profits and are invited to a friendly dinner with the lady in question (which, for the records, stays peaceful and cordial).

Edited by The_Shaman

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-The Imperial Confessor believes that if you kick the crap out of something long enough, you can sooner or later beat love, fear and awe of the Emperor of Mankind into just about anything.

 

-Because of this belief, there is now a sub faction of the Imperial Cult on board the Rogue Traders ship that is made up completely by different kinds of Xeno's who the Confessor abducted/adopted as children over the course of the crews various adventures.

 

- While he has yet to make the attempt, the Confessor currently has plans to convert a warp demon and show them the light of him on Terra.

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