antijoke_13

You know you're playing Rogue Trader when…

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-The tech priest has gone insane, the archmilitant's turned to chaos, the Rogue Trader's started eating people, the Pilot's been reprogrammed by the probe from Lure of the Expanse to be more lenient when dealing with the heretical and the Big Mek is the only member of the party that seems to still have a grasp on reality.

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>When you know that one of your player, captain of a mere frigate - that is NOT the dynasty flagship- is currently single-handlely curbstomping the WAAGGHHHH over Damaris, after making the WURLDBREAKA run away...

 

>When the estimated firepower and durability of the dynasty flagship, at the last  tIthe evaluation from the Adeptus Terra, is " sector battlefleet."

 =====> especially considering the amount of money the dynasty pour on it to keep him (don't him a She! ever!) in pristine conditions, you can found quite a fleet.

 

> When space battles involve more space ships than a 2k pts Battlefleet gothic battle... or even more than the number of Space marines in W40k 2k pts army.

 

> When the gamesmaster is seriously considering adapting Horde rules for Spaceships.

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When the Ork Hed of Sekurity is smarter than the rogue trader.

 

When you have to explain to your characters why their ork can't travel to the planet via catapult (but they believe they can breath in space).

 

When your tech priest and ork characters regularly sit down for civil debates on how to make the ship go faster.

Edited by Robomummy
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When you have to explain to your characters why their ork can't travel to the planet via catapult (but they believe they can breath in space).

 

You know it's Rogue Trader when your players immediately spend the better part of an hour coming up with an elaborate plan to make such an action work.

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You know it's Rogue Trader when your players immediately spend the better part of an hour coming up with an elaborate plan to make such an action work.

-And you definitely know it's Rogue Trader when those plans run counter to what the GM planned for that day... Edited by jabberwoky
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You know it's Rogue Trader when your players immediately spend the better part of an hour coming up with an elaborate plan to make such an action work.

-And you definitely know it's Rogue Trader when those plans run counter to what the GM planned for that day...

 

And it is confirmed when the Gamemaster's solution to this is "Throw problems to your players in bulk, do not even bother to think about solutions. They'll pull crazy things to solve your problems, or find spectacular & hilarious ways to fail. both paths are entertaining for everyone."

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-When the RT's personal chapter of sponsored Reasonable Marines rewrite the Codex Astartes, send it to Ultramar, claim responsibility and include the post-script "Come at us, battle-bros..."

 

-... and the Ultramarines decline the challenge, based on the fact that they had enough trouble with the tyrannids and don't think that they can do anything about the RT's fleet of warships...

 

-... and Logan Grimnar stops by because he heard about this new book, and he wanted to discuss it over drinks.

 

-When the Officio Assassinorum refuses services to the Tricorn Palace because they're tired of losing operatives in the Koronus Expanse...

 

-... and the Seneschal says "Just as planned" as he makes overtures towards sponsoring Callidus and Vindicare satellite temples on one of the moons in the RT's base system.

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...Your rogue trader declares war on other species based on fashion trends and which looted xenotech weapon it's 'in' to be seen wielding this season....

 

...Your explorator points out he could have made an original of said xenotech weapon which was at least as high a quality as anything you'd get from the corpses of said species....

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You know you are playing Rogue Trader when ...

- Your Navigator's house doesn't want him to come back because despite his mastery of theThird Eye being legendary across the sector, and his genes are clearly superior, they are pretty sure he has stopped qualifying as Homo sapiens a long time ago, no matter how generous you get.

- When the Explorator decides to finally remove the last shreds of human brain he has left because all his mechadendrites are making headtubes awfully annoying, and the rest of the crew can swear he became more emotional and empathic than he was before.

- When said Explorator knowingly disregards history and the end of the Human Golden Age at the hands of the Men of Iron by integrating stasis stabilized necrodermis in his mechanical shell to counter the corrupting influence of Chaos on AI.

- When this is the least heretical thing he's done in a while

- When your Explorator has exterminated more species by accident while testing new hardware on non-profitable planets than most Magos Biologis know off.

- When your Ship's Confessor has converted arch-heretics back to the Emperor's light out of sheer fear of His Holy Wrath at the end times.

- When you're pretty sure your Confessor is a living saint (and is probably the patron saint of burmination), but nobody says anything because the last ones where incinerated for worshiping false idols by said Confessor.

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When the Rogue Trader with a toughness bonus of 1 (yup, it hurt!) finally earns enough  corruption, fails the malignancy test and gets the one and only mutation that increases his wounds by 10 and doubles his size... he ended up with 18 wounds and of bodybuilder proportions :D

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...When the nymphomanic Navigator has to take Scholastic Lore [Human Reproduction] +20% in order to find new ways to satisfy his Lady Captain, The Astropath, and about 10% of the ships crew. 

 

...When said Navigator has to take Forbitten Lore [Xenos and Mutants] for similar reasons.

 

...When the Explorator has taken the Chem-geld trait in order to avoid the Naviagtors advances and the Navigator refuses to accepts this fact and continuously hits on him anyway.

Edited by Halladall
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...When Bishop Palar in his conversation with the party, mentions that; quote "Everything i do, i do for the Emperor." And the mutant Void Master responds with; Quote "I will stipulate to that, the next time you go to the bathroom."

Edited by Halladall
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...When the Explorator has taken the Chem-geld trait in order to avoid the Naviagtors advances and the Navigator refuses to accepts this fact and continuously hits on him anyway.

-The Navigator is not put off when the Explorator in question changes from "him" status to "it" status.

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...When the Explorator has taken the Chem-geld trait in order to avoid the Naviagtors advances and the Navigator refuses to accepts this fact and continuously hits on him anyway.

-The Navigator is not put off when the Explorator in question changes from "him" status to "it" status.

 

a) I would assume that most people refer to the Navigator as "it" if they think it wont hear them.

 

b) That does not sound like something the Navigator would do. They are from an ancient line of nobility and are well aware of their position of importance and all depictions of Navigators that I've seen (Apart from the Inquisition war books, but those were weird even by Navigator standards and I'm not sure if those are even canon anymore.) had them as snobs that do not act well in the company of "lesser men." The navigator player should have taken offence to that and ranted about their lineage and how Emperor himself granted them special freedoms etc. etc. and all through the 45min rant and afterwards he should have referred the Explorator as "it" and complained about how that "thing" isn't even a proper human anymore and should not be treated with any more respect than a servitor is.

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...When the Explorator has taken the Chem-geld trait in order to avoid the Naviagtors advances and the Navigator refuses to accepts this fact and continuously hits on him anyway.

-The Navigator is not put off when the Explorator in question changes from "him" status to "it" status.

 

a) I would assume that most people refer to the Navigator as "it" if they think it wont hear them.

 

b) That does not sound like something the Navigator would do. They are from an ancient line of nobility and are well aware of their position of importance and all depictions of Navigators that I've seen (Apart from the Inquisition war books, but those were weird even by Navigator standards and I'm not sure if those are even canon anymore.) had them as snobs that do not act well in the company of "lesser men." The navigator player should have taken offence to that and ranted about their lineage and how Emperor himself granted them special freedoms etc. etc. and all through the 45min rant and afterwards he should have referred the Explorator as "it" and complained about how that "thing" isn't even a proper human anymore and should not be treated with any more respect than a servitor is.

 

Yes yes... we all know this. -_-* Stop trying to ruin our fun. The Navigator i chosen for this reason, because it would be more fun that if the Void Master did it.Besides you don't know if there is nymphomaniac Navigator out there. How can you enjoy the game if you make every character a stereotype. There are hundreds of inconsistencies in this threads but you choose to hate on mine. I was only trying to make you laugh and if i didn't then move on.

Edited by Halladall
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More importantly, you know you are playing Rogue Trader

- When every single character is an excentric with enough weird habits that would probably be considered a traitor, heretic or both if they ever lost the Warrant, and this is considered perfectly normal.

- When a sane character is seen as unusual, and probably some kind of mutant or heretic trying to hide it too well. That, or its another Eldar spy masquerading as a human crewmember.

- When the DM can bring out the orginal Rogue Trader and Realm of Chaos books, and it somehow makes the game less weird, even with the space frogs and the horribly mangled timeline.

- When sourcing the timeline from contradictory editions is a source of plot hooks, not a system inconsistency.

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Your Lord Captain used to be the Seneschal...

 

Your Seneschal is actually the Navigator...

 

Your Pilot used to be the Assassin...

 

Your Gunnery Officer is also your communications officer...

 

Your transport captain used to be your communications officer...

 

The captain of your captured cruiser is essentially a hulking 1982 version of Arnold Swarzennegger...  (Accent Included)

 

Your Explorator is such a paranoid lunatic that he turned himself into a living failsafe so that the entire fleet will detonate if he is killed...  (No one knows this but him)

 

Your Senascal/Navigator/Spice Addled Ferengi is so OCD that he created a huge ACTUAL starchart of the area of space that we are in that he hangs on the wall and uses to plot our moves in game with a complicated code of map routes and coded numerology to indicate the relative stability and travel times of the various routes...

 

Your Lord Captain is actually a ruined husk in a floating sarcophagus that communicates through speakers and psychic might.  The Seneschal/Navigator considered just shutting the thing off and putting him in a psychiclly shielded closet so they would only have to cart him out during official dinners...  (The man loves Ravenor clearly)

 

The look of shock and confusion among the officers the first time we pushed him onto the bridge and yelled "Captain on the Bridge!"

 

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Your Gunnery Officer is also your communications officer...

 

I'm sure that never leads to "accidental" gunboat diplomacy/opening com channels by blasting holes in the other ship to improve information transfer..

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Your Gunnery Officer is also your communications officer...

 

I'm sure that never leads to "accidental" gunboat diplomacy/opening com channels by blasting holes in the other ship to improve information transfer..

 

 

Of course not...that "never" happens every time the Ferengi Navigator is off the bridge!

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Your Pilot used to be the Assassin...

You know you're playing Rogue Trader when...

-The Pilot still teaches students in the "Landing-Upon" school of Assassination.

-The Navigator is insane enough that he believes that circling around a warp storm is the best way to build up speed and save time in the Immaterium.

 

-The Rogue Trader's wife is known for wearing a red fedora and trench coat.  Reportedly, she's wanted by the Inquisition for stealing a mountain range from the planet Maccabeus Quintus... 

 

-The Explorator is paranoid about the Rogue Trader's wife.  According to rumor, she "stole the Rogue Trader's heart", and thus, he has locked his away very carefully.

Edited by jabberwoky

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-The Rogue Trader's wife is known for wearing a red fedora and trench coat.  Reportedly, she's wanted by the Inquisition for stealing a mountain range from the planet Maccabeus Quintus... 

 

-The Explorator is paranoid about the Rogue Trader's wife.  According to rumor, she "stole the Rogue Trader's heart", and thus, he has locked his away very carefully.

 

Where in the Warp is Encarmine Saint Diego?

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Your Pilot used to be the Assassin...

You know you're playing Rogue Trader when...

-The Pilot still teaches students in the "Landing-Upon" school of Assassination.

 

 

 

Emperor be praised I hope he never reads these forums...that WOULD be a thing!

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