antijoke_13

You know you're playing Rogue Trader when…

586 posts in this topic

When you unfold a tactical map that covers a square kilometer using single meter squares and tell your players that you would need three more to properly run the boarding action.

Sergeant Unclepear likes this

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When your hat gets shot off your head and your AM doesnt say anything concerning your bald spot {Yes, Rain {my AM} noticed that Ben {our RT} was going bald, had to roll fellowship to say he had something on his chin instead, barely passed}

When you corner a target and he manages to get the drop on your AM {Rain is still unhappy of nearly getting choked to death and eating a bullet}

When you decide to stop at a seemingly barren world and find a single dude two and a half feet tall and speaking in syntax dialog advising you to Do or Do Not

When "Senechal" and "Bothan Spynet" somehow get mixed up and nobody notices

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... when the countermeasure against a swarm of carnivorous alien wasps is not bug spray but grenades, shot mid-air. 

... when the Arch-Militant forget that his Power Armour runs on battery and is forced to fight almost naked in the middle of a jungle.

... when the Explorator that could have powered it has been left 100 km behind to fix the lander after the rough landing, despite the presence of another functioning lander and multiple Tech -underlings.

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When your Am decides to try out a new outfit and ends up acting like a Princess with a bad attitude because she somehow is the sole heir to a forge world and all its gold

When your RT and TechPriest and Missionary look exactly like three certain men

When your Am and Missionary end up engaged and nobody notices

Sergeant Unclepear likes this

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.....when after an enemy ship surrenders, the first worry of the PCs is alerting the other party's ship not to blow up what remains of their enemy, because those 10,000 slaves they promised to the Red Cabal must be sourced somewhere.

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When you get into a boarding action with Rak'gol and your Arch-militant is captured.

After a few weeks you track down the ship and launch a rescue/bodily remains retrieval mission, only to find that s/he' taken over the ship, the Rak'gol having been awed by his/her combat prowess and worshiping them as a god.

Sergeant Unclepear likes this

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Posted (edited)

On ‎9‎/‎17‎/‎2017 at 0:05 AM, Ni Fang said:

When your Am decides to try out a new outfit and ends up acting like a Princess with a bad attitude because she somehow is the sole heir to a forge world and all its gold

What, you mean like her? http://rustyandco.com/comic/22/

On ‎10‎/‎9‎/‎2017 at 5:11 PM, InquistiorCalinx said:

When you get into a boarding action with Rak'gol and your Arch-militant is captured.

After a few weeks you track down the ship and launch a rescue/bodily remains retrieval mission, only to find that s/he' taken over the ship, the Rak'gol having been awed by his/her combat prowess and worshiping them as a god.

When your ascended Dark Heresy group joins the campaign since they find Rak'gol DNA/methedology to be just a tad to similar too the ancient threat of the Jorgull to call it a coincidence.

Edited by Marcus102

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On 10/9/2017 at 6:13 PM, Marcus102 said:

What, you mean like her? http://rustyandco.com/comic/22/

Close but not quite; I'd find the picture but its not easy

When the Dark Hersey squad shows up at your Am's homeworld only to get driven off the planet because thanks to the Am's bloodline even the newborn children can defend themselves

Watching a certain picholo {Bruce Lee's Enter the Dragon} is a way to pick up pointers for your AM

The RT somehow ends up being the half brother to the Missionary who is the uncle of the Navigator who is the aunt of the void master. All of which dpo not have any ties by family other then picking up off the street to the cook, a Ratman thing named Remy. All of which including Remy arent related in any manner to the maniac known as the AM. {Just working out this family tree was fun!! Rain is an only child, but married to the Missionary now}

Your RT wants to find a treasure ship known as The Gilded Star which is rumored to have the weath of a million worlds within its endless holds

Your GM makes ten hours of game time, 6 hours game session with 4 hours shopping.

The Am is the only one in the crew without any implanets or the like whatsoever, she is also not tainted or tempted in any manner by chaos once her mind is focused on the one thing she cant refuse..... money

Sergeant Unclepear likes this

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... when the AM and the Tech-Priests decides that the best countermeasure against Eldar Warlocks are meltas, heavy machine guns and grenades. And they are right.

… when the Navigator decides that the best countermeasure against an Eldar Ranger sniper is drafting his las-pistol a go get him at close range. And he is wrong.

… when back in space the GM send in the opponent with the biggest ship as an expedient to force the players to leave.

… when the players decide instead to fight it, cementing the decision by shouting “Fire it up”!

…when they also attempt to board it but ends up with their own ship being taken by the enemy.

… when before running to the guncutters to escape, the only thing they decide to take away beside their personal belongings is the content of the trophy room.

… when the staff that served the Dynasty for generations is left to their fate because they fill the guncutters with the elite mercenary troops that costed them quite a fortune.

… when the adventure ends with this cliffhangers and will resume after a few months, leaving the GM wondering what insane plan the players will draft in the meantime.

Edited by Sergeant Unclepear

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When your AM wants to buy a sword and the guy wont sell it so she steals it and the guy doesnt seem to care and then six weeks later your AM is ambushed by a thug of some form and on him is the orders to kill the AM because she stole the weapon and it sparks a war with the Offico Assassinarium {Which they dont want; Rain had so much fun destroying them!}

When your RT, AM, Ork Weirdboy, Techpriest and Missionary have a game of strip poker and the RT only loses his outragous hat in the game while the Am loses nearly everything {Yes Rain is pretty but isnt good at poker whatsoever}

When your Missionary wants a night on the town but the RT says no because there's not enough flamer fuel

Vorzakk likes this

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When after realizing that their crew is too weak for proper combat, they hire an ork mercenary and create a spore farm in the lower decks.

when said ork mercenary is the most level headed of all of the party.

when the newly finished ship that they had been following, which belonged to a known pirate lord, suddenly stops and asks for assistance they take this opportunity to board their ship..... and fix their engines.

when after that they do not notice that one of their personal guard randomly has a Russian accent like the pirates did

when after meeting a clearly heretical abominable intelligence that requests bits of theirs crews brains and offers to purge weakness from their ship, they give it what it wants and run errands for it.

when their kill count after two orbital bombardments, an ork infestation on board the ship, shooting up a feudal town, and attacking a heavily fortified shipyard, is 27... 28 if you include the executed body guard that failed to praise the emperor within a second after having a friendly grenade detonate in his face.

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