antijoke_13

You know you're playing Rogue Trader when…

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When the resident Man of Iron fires a tachyon cannon into a star to cause a supernova to destroy a tyranid hive ship that was lured into the system by the party astropath's massive psykic might after the arkmilitant shot it with half a dozen vortex torpedoes to piss it off

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When the mostly insane rogue trader decides the most cost effective method of destroying his enemies is to throw a sun at them.

And the seneshal and the exploritor get together and conclude that he is, in fact, correct.

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You know your playing rogue trader when your rogue trader is a genestealer, your explorator is a mech boy, your chaplain is a farseer, your archmilitant is an ork commando, and your senichal is a warp entity.

-and this is a run of the mill campaign

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You know your playing rogue trader when your rogue trader is a genestealer, your explorator is a mech boy, your chaplain is a farseer, your archmilitant is an ork commando, and your senichal is a warp entity.

-and this is a run of the mill campaign

 

You're missing a Tau and a Necron.

 

Oh can I play a C'tan? :)

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Just now, antijoke_13 said:

i can't believe this became this popular.\

**** i wish i hadn't lost my copy of RT...

 

they censor things now?

well ****

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On ‎25‎/‎01‎/‎2017 at 7:17 PM, antijoke_13 said:

they censor things now?

well ****

FFG don't like the word dam*n. They also aren't fans of Philip K. ****.

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On 1/26/2017 at 7:50 PM, Robin Graves said:

FFG don't like the word dam*n. They also aren't fans of Philip K. ****.

If that's the truth, they'd have issues with my last campaign, the players dubbed it 'Do Techpreists Dream Electric Sheep?'

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You know your playing rogue trader when the dm has to redo all his prep for the next game because his players didn't mercilessly butcher the entire race of xenos they envountered last game 

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You know you're playing rogue trader because the GM had to redo all his prep for the next game because his players mercilessly butchered a planets worth of loyalist humans because one of them called the Rogue Traders hat tacky.

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You know your playing rogue trader when the party installs enough planetary defense guns to one shot a battleship and then when a chaos battleship shows up they miss every shot for three rounds in a row. 

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You know you're playing Rogue Trader when any problem that can't be solved by shooting can be solved by expensive formal dinner parties, and vice versa.

 

You know you're playing Rogue Trader when the Navigator can tell Cardinal Ignato to 'hurry up' during the sanctification of the Trader's warrant, and get away with it. Before leaving and taking a Cherebium hostage as a souvenir. In the middle of a fully stocked Cathedral of Illumination. 

Edited by Magos Smudges
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You know you're playing Rogue Trader when the Astropathic Choir has been butchered with a Chainsword, leading to a Mexican standoff between two groups of players who distrust each other whilst an enemy ship demanding their surrender bears down on them in an asteroid belt.

You know you're playing Rogue Trader when the Arch-Militant is a charming grot (affectionately called the Stormgrot) wearing a mini-suit of terminator armour (with attached assault pack), made by the Explorator, who has to cajole the men under his command to get anything done. 

You know you're playing Rogue Trader when your players dig too deep. After a Warp journey a new button appeared in their lift, leading to a room between floors. After testing they decide to mine the room for adamantium, opening a Warp Portal inside their own vessel. Instead of dealing with it, they pull a rug over it by replacing the lift with stairs and a slide.

You know you're playing Rogue Trader when the players are fighting blind in metres of fire suppressant foam when the automated system activates due to a mass possession in the crew quarters. One had to burn fate to avoid drowning in foam after being stunned. 

You know you're playing Rogue Trader when duels of succession (after the Rogue Trader dies) leads to a TPK and the campaign ending. 

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When you have a PC whose name is, quite literally, Da Mad Grot

 

When the ship's surgery is less capable than said PC is with a chainsaw, flamethrower, and jumper cables

 

When said flamethrower is a weapon second and a tool to get at said jumper cables through ship bulkheads first

 

When said player never considers a session complete without having laughed maniacally, smoked a new and exotic substance from a corncob pipe, and given three statements along the lines of "Dis weapon is 12% louda so it must be 37% killier"

 

When, almost certainly unlike the below quote, I was in the game where this happened instead of it just being archetypal Rogue Trader

On ‎2‎/‎6‎/‎2017 at 0:28 PM, Senshuken said:

You know you're playing rogue trader because the GM had to redo all his prep for the next game because his players mercilessly butchered a planets worth of loyalist humans because one of them called the Rogue Traders hat tacky.

 

When all of the following are in the same game and deserve their own post: the quasi-PC Ordo Cronus Inquisitor; the heavily augmented Explorator that thinks an unaugmented tank crew possess a more powerful machine spirit than the tank they crew; the house-regiment/Tzeentch-cult that controls 99% of the dynasties personal weapons, 75% of their vehicles, and 50% of the emplaced weapons because they can have a five man squad dismantle a plasma obliterator turret, huff it a half mile to the new front line, and reassemble it there in 15 minutes; and the nine Praetorians who perpetually where masks, do not use juvenaut, have never been seen to die in battle, and other than common sense for what a human life span is have given no evidence that someone could point to and say "see, these aren't the same men and women who entered service to the dynasty in mid M40 along with twenty purple-eyed regiments of assorted infantry, aeronautica, and psykana"

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When the party asks

'How many nukes do we have in storage?  We want to leave a 'Best' quality one behind after we rob the Faceless Lord.  Might take him a day or two to figure out that stuff is missing.'

'Is it heresy to add Wyches to my harem?'

'Does the admech have a 'bridge bunny' cult of explorators we can recruit?'

'So, in other words, the warlord titan is started by playing the theme to Gigantor?'

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You might be playing rogue trader when...

The Ogryn has a higher fellowship then 80% of the Expanse yet still refuses to roll because surly the Rogue Trader can do better.

The Inquisition has ignored each and every request for an audience due to "your reputation".

Darth Vader showed up to the last dinner party. 

The Necron smiles (Painted on like the joker)

 

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On 1/23/2017 at 4:49 PM, hellisfurry said:

You know your playing rogue trader when your rogue trader is a genestealer, your explorator is a mech boy, your chaplain is a farseer, your archmilitant is an ork commando, and your senichal is a warp entity.

-and this is a run of the mill campaign

Is the rogue trader  a purestrain, a gen 1, 2, 3, 4, or 5, a Ymgarl, or one of the more specialized variants?

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..when your female, highly vindicative Astropath purposely scans the minds of captured enemies, looking for insulting thoughts on her so to have an excuse to crush them to death with her powers.

...when the same Astropath -played by a girl - after the capture of a pirate ship orders the household troops to round up any female crewmember or prisoner, because she wants to open her brothel on the Rogue Trader's ship.

... when the Archmilitant is meanwhile busy selecting the strongest pirates among the prisoners to form suicide squads for future battles.

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When forming an alliance with dozens of xenos races in an attempt to stem the tide of tyranids by basically rein acting the plot to ME3 in order to save the galaxy is how your game runs when all you had planed for the start was a one off game about looting a battlecruiser. 

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