Sex and the single Space marine

[SomVone 6]

 Yeah, and Astarte (or Aphrodite) was the greek goddess of fertility, sexuality and war.

Adeptus Astartes.

Yeah, GW is totally in on this.

[Captain Ventris 6]

Remember guys, warriors never bond with each other in a way other people cannot understand, and if they do, they are obviously gay.

[Morangias 459]

Captain Ventris said:

Remember guys, warriors never bond with each other in a way other people cannot understand, and if they do, they are obviously gay.

Camaraderie is a lie!

[Guest Not In Sample]

SomVone said:

Yeah, GW is totally in on this.

In on what? A massive joke on the fans of their most popular product?

[N0-1_H3r3 287]

AluminiumWolf said:

SomVone said:

Yeah, GW is totally in on this.

 

In on what? A massive joke on the fans of their most popular product?

Chaos Black paint has a fanbase?

No, really. Chaos Black paint is GW's most frequently-purchased (and thus most popular) product.

[Morangias 459]

N0-1_H3r3 said:

AluminiumWolf said:

 

SomVone said:

Yeah, GW is totally in on this.

 

In on what? A massive joke on the fans of their most popular product?

 

 

Chaos Black paint has a fanbase?

No, really. Chaos Black paint is GW's most frequently-purchased (and thus most popular) product.

Sure it has. I have a poster with a jar of Chaos Black in my bedroom, and I don't even paint miniatures!

[Guest Not In Sample]

Then you probably shouldn't imply that Chaos Black can't get a stiffy.

Who's the black model paint
That's a sex machine to all the chicks?
(Chaos Black!)
You're **** right

 

 

 

 

[Captain Ventris 6]

N0-1_H3r3 said:

Chaos Black paint has a fanbase?

No, really. Chaos Black paint is GW's most frequently-purchased (and thus most popular) product.

Pro-tips and sarcasm. Only the best.

[Guest Not In Sample]

Really Captain Ventris - it doesn't bother you that the Guardsmen make jokes about your impotence behind your back?

[Morangias 459]

AluminiumWolf said:

Really Captain Ventris - it doesn't bother you that the Guardsmen make jokes about your impotence behind your back?

The same Guardsmen who only know you as Angels of Death, godly figures of myth and legend, and fear you only slightly less than the enemy? The same Guardsmen who would risk summary execution if they somehow gained any factual knowledge about how the Space Marines are made or trained (Adeptus Astartes is a Forbidden Lore skill, and for normal humans, the classification is more than just a scary name)? The same Guardsmen who risk summary execution if the Commissar overhears them saying just a word about Space Marines and decides they didn't show enough reverence? Finally, the same Guardsmen you can kill with impunity if you decide they didn't show you enough respect?

There's a rather slim chance of any Guardsman ever making any joke about Astartes dongs. But even if it did happen, why should it bother a seven foot tall superhuman god of war? Apparently, these lowly humans treat their virility as a matter of great importance - and that's good for them, because the Emperor wanted humanity to expand and dominate the Galaxy. Since they can't serve Him in the full capacity as His children and His Angels of Death, it's only proper that they perform their lesser duties eagerly. Everyone in his proper place, as dictated by His eternal will.

[Siranui 2]

AluminiumWolf said:

Sure but you have to accept that nowhere, nowhere does it actually say that.

If Marines were supposed to be the eunuch soldiers of the Imperium of the Emperor of Mankind it would surely have been mentioned at least once.

And I'm not imagining that Marines being neutered is not exactly going to be a selling point for a lot of their fans am I?

Hello pot. This is the kettle speaking.

It's your version of events that is a complete fiction with no supporting evidence and about 100 pages of circumstantial evidence that points in the opposite way. By all means have your marines as virile super-humans who get to go home and bang the prom queen in your own game, but that's not canon, no matter how much you want it to be. This is becoming akin to debate with someone holding extremist religion beliefs: 'There's no evidence that there's NOT a flying Spaghetti monster, so there MUST be one...'

Why not put aside what you've stated you want from the game at your own table, put aside imaginings regarding marketing, and look at internal logic and consistency?

What fans think and want generally has little bearing on the game world, as Matt Ward's continued employment ably demonstrates. However, I'm perfectly happy to state that GW probably leave the 'And They Shall Have No Balls' out of the fluff in order to avoid deliberately aggravating the slice of their audience who mentally live in the dark ages where a man cannot be a man unless he can wander from planet to planet impregnating women. But there's more than enough circumstantial evidence to say that beyond reasonable doubt; they don't.

[HappyDaze 9,726]

I'm not sure why there's so much hate on Matt Ward around here. WH40K is constantly being retconned so why start objecting now?

[Morangias 459]

HappyDaze said:

I'm not sure why there's so much hate on Matt Ward around here. WH40K is constantly being retconned so why start objecting now?

I used to hate him until he wrote the new Necron codex and added everything I wanted to see ever since I first heard of Necrons. Right now I still think he deserves a kick in the groin for making Grey Knights into hypocrite Radicals, but no longer dismiss him as a writer and human being.

I'm actually hoping they let him do the Orks 'dex.

[Captain Ventris 6]

Well, there's retconning, and then there's flying dreadnoughts.

[Guest Not In Sample]

+++++However, I'm perfectly happy to state that GW probably leave the 'And They Shall Have No Balls' out of the fluff in order to avoid deliberately aggravating the slice of their audience who mentally live in the dark ages where a man cannot be a man unless he can wander from planet to planet impregnating women.+++++

I do little but argue that this is a large and powerful constituency. Do they not deserve fun to?

+++++What fans think and want generally has little bearing on the game world, as Matt Ward's continued employment ably demonstrates.+++++

I suggest the situation is more nuanced. What grognards say they want on the internet has little impact on GW (as is only sensible), but you can bet they are trying to figure out what will cause people to buy the maximum amount of plastic figures.

 

[Morangias 459]

AluminiumWolf said:

+++++However, I'm perfectly happy to state that GW probably leave the 'And They Shall Have No Balls' out of the fluff in order to avoid deliberately aggravating the slice of their audience who mentally live in the dark ages where a man cannot be a man unless he can wander from planet to planet impregnating women.+++++

I do little but argue that this is a large and powerful constituency. Do they not deserve fun to?

I think the people who care so much about their pretend characters having functional pretend dongs that they can't get into a character who doesn't care about having pretend sex with pretend partners, should be pitied in silence, not catered to.

[Guest Not In Sample]

Morangias said:

I think the people who care so much about their pretend characters having functional pretend dongs that they can't get into a character who doesn't care about having pretend sex with pretend partners, should be pitied in silence, not catered to.

 

That is of course your right.

But I would suggest that making a Space Marine roleplaying game targeted at people who are not sad enough to enjoy pretending to be Space Marines is... non-optimal, from a wide variety of perspectives.

Seriously guys, this is Space Marines. It isn't big and it isn't clever, but it can be Awesome.

[Siranui 2]

AluminiumWolf said:

+++++However, I'm perfectly happy to state that GW probably leave the 'And They Shall Have No Balls' out of the fluff in order to avoid deliberately aggravating the slice of their audience who mentally live in the dark ages where a man cannot be a man unless he can wander from planet to planet impregnating women.+++++

I do little but argue that this is a large and powerful constituency. Do they not deserve fun to?

It doesn't really have much relevance to the internal consistency and structure of the game universe either way. 

But I'd be personally worried if a player was unable to have fun at the gaming table because his character was unable to impregnate women. I'd make an argument that if they want to bring that kind of thing to the table and lay their sexual fantasies out bare in front of their close friends that no; they do not 'deserve' to have fun... not least of all because ***I do not want to GM that***!!

Players can live out their sexual fantasies in private or with skilled professionals who are paid by the hour, but not around my gaming table; it's just gross.

I'd maybe tell them to buy FATAL and ask them to leave.

I'm also not sure where you're getting the idea that it's a loud and powerful voice in gaming, either. I'll run a straw poll over the next few weeks and ask my friends 'how much less fun would it be to roleplay a supersoldier who was a eunuch', and see what is said.

[Guest Not In Sample]

+++++I'll run a straw poll over the next few weeks and ask my friends 'how much less fun would it be to roleplay a supersoldier who was a eunuch', and see what is said.+++++

The way to run such a poll is to anonymously give people both options and see which one they pick. Don't be surprised if you walk up to someone and say 'are you sad enough that you care if your imaginary Space Marine can shag imaginary chicks?' and they say certainly not. Or I guess you could try 'you don't want to play a limp-**** do you? What kind of man enjoys pretending to be a limp-****?' if you wanted a more positive answer.

Getting at what people really think is not as simple as asking them. You need to examine how they act, and especially how they act when they think no one is watching.

[Morangias 459]

AluminiumWolf said:

Morangias said:

I think the people who care so much about their pretend characters having functional pretend dongs that they can't get into a character who doesn't care about having pretend sex with pretend partners, should be pitied in silence, not catered to.

 

That is of course your right.

But I would suggest that making a Space Marine roleplaying game targeted at people who are not sad enough to enjoy pretending to be Space Marines is... non-optimal, from a wide variety of perspectives.

Seriously guys, this is Space Marines. It isn't big and it isn't clever, but it can be Awesome.

So, basically, you think Deathwatch is stupid, but should be made even more stupid?

I... honestly, I don't have an answer to that.

[Guest Not In Sample]

Morangias said:

So, basically, you think Deathwatch is stupid, but should be made even more stupid?

I... honestly, I don't have an answer to that.

I'm saying it should be a safe place for... a lot of behaviours that tend to be frowned upon in gaming.

Munchkinism, playing a kill crazy psychopath, indulging in power fantasy. These are all things that should be entirely acceptable, neh, encouraged in a Marine game. These are things that a lot of players would enjoy if they found an enviroment in which they were allowed.

Marine gaming is a great place to let your hair down and have some fun.

[Morangias 459]

There are reasons as to why these behaviors are frowned upon. Mostly, because they're not really fun for anyone but the idiot indulging in them.

[Guest Not In Sample]

Well, I disagree. These are entirely valid and entertaining ways to play, in the right enviroment.

And you have to admit that there is no better place for powergaming than when playing one of the might Adeptus Astartes.

It is time, I say, to unleash your inner Space Marine!

[Guest Not In Sample]

Take Siranui:-

+++++I haven't gone cover-to-cover as yet, but there's a lot of good things in there, and a lot of the more powerful stuff is tempered with dire warnings to the GM and player alike about the supposed scarcity of such things; which is a good thing.+++++

The poor dear is obviously so terrified that someone will think he is a powergamer that he won't even take his toys out of the packaging. Instead, he sits staring at them, desultorily playing with a ball-and-cup as if this makes him a better person.

 

Why deny yourself what you so clearly desire? Life is too short.

[Morangias 459]

 See, the thing about Those Guys is, you don't need to cater to their demands, because whatever you do, they're bound to show up anyway, so you might rather proof your system against them in hopes of attracting normal players and building a positive image of your product.

That's why Wizards changed the OGL to ban Book of Erotic Fantasy from having a d20 logo on the cover, why GW tries to discourage "neckbeards" from being interested in their products, and why FATAL is the creepy laughing stock of the hobby rather than a prominent gaming platform.