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Observations from a Novice

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Posted (edited)

I picked up the Lord of the Rings card game on May 2 of last year. And I'm not kidding when I say it changed my life. I have now collected roughly half of the expansions, and considered myself fairly experienced. But there are a few observations that I would like to make about the world of Middle-Earth.

Apparently, courage is actually expected. In almost every hero.

Apparently, orcs are dumb. Like, extremely dumb. This game has been out for at least a decade, and THEY STILL DON'T SEE SNEAK ATTACKS COMING. I mean come on, you would think they would learn! Yes, young orcses, there WILL be a hobbit coming from behind you out of that tree. NO, NOT THAT ONE! THAT ONE!

Enemies also fall for feints in combat. Every time.

Apparently, Gandalf is more powerful than Eru Iluvatar. I mean, I don't know exactly how many people play LOTR LCG every day, but Gandalf apparently has the ability of omnipresence. He appears in every part of Middle-Earth, every day, from the ruins of Númenor to Rhún. That man (Istari, for the nerds) has GOT to be tired. Do you guys not realize why he leaves at the end of the round?! He needs a nap! And if you don't let him leave, you are 2 points more susceptible to the threat of the Dark Lord because he's trying to fall asleep on your shoulders.

I don't know what the players at large have against that poor orc, but seriously, y'all (sorry, I'm from Oklahoma) need to give Will a break. Everyone seems to find the greatest delight in testing him. He just wants to live his life. He worked hard to graduate high school. He doesn't need any more tests!

That's all for now. My main point is that you guys need to take more thought, and be nicer to the peoples of Middle-Earth. A person is a person no matter how small, or ugly, or tall. Take thought for the needs of everyone, and together we can make Middle-Earth great again. Keep your nose out of trouble, and no trouble will come to you!

Edited by Bobbymcbobface

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