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Draconis80

X-wing: How do I deal with a thin skinned super competitive player?

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So I'm a huge Star Wars fan. I started buying X-wing miniatures because the models were so nice looking. Besides that, just finding a model for some ships just doesn't exist. Someone at work told me of the local shop where they play the game. So I started playing and liked it. Little did I know that it was just 2 people playing X-wing. One person that plays is SUPER COMPETITIVE and thin skinned. He goes from 0 to 100 if he starts to lose. Prime example is one time he was losing and he yells extremely loud. The F-bomb 3 times. Everyone heard him and everyone was looking at him. He forfeits a game if he starts to lose. Never plays through, EVER. So one of the guys that use to play has quit X-wing because of him. Come to find out after he has left and the store there were more players playing the game. Lots more. They all stopped playing because of him. They have all basically come up to me and verified with me at one point or another. So I have been stuck playing with him for awhile. X-wing 2nd edition comes out. Games were about 50/50, was having fun. Then mid Oct 2018 he starts using lists again. I've only won once since. During that game, he of course got triggered and forfeited that game. 

He is great when it comes to knowing the rules and teaching/helping new players. I don't think his social skills are very good. He only works part-time so he probably has a ton of time on his hands. He only uses lists from tournaments. (Which is annoying as heck!) Really smart guy though.

We finally got a new player that showed up in mid Dec 2018. Watched the new guy's game at the store. What does "the chosen one" do? Completely stompes the poor guy. I told him after, "you could have gone a little easier." but I don't think it even registers with him.

So I'm asking for recommendations on how you would handle the situation? 

Also asking for people that play at local stores weekly. If you goto tournaments and you have a higher than 50% winning average at the local store vs. people that play casual. (non-tournament players) Take it easy on the people that just want to roll dice. I want this community to grow!!!!! Pull a list out of your butt 5 mins before you play. Try different tactics that you wouldn't normally do. Experiment with upgrades you would never use. Give yourself a handicap. Make yourself a better player. 

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Unsporting Conduct

 

FFG OP exists to create a fair, safe, and inclusive environment for all participants. Unsporting

conduct violates one or more of these elements which are critical to the integrity of an event.

Intentional or habitual violations of event integrity could result in investigation, pursuant to the

FFG Organized Play Participant Suspension Policy

. The marshal role holds the responsibility of

being the final authority on whether unsporting conduct has occurred. The organizer is

responsible for determining whether the unsporting conduct was severe enough to warrant

disqualification of a participant. Unsporting conduct is not limited to occurrences which happen

during an event. It can extend to the time before and after the event, as well as digital spaces.

Unsporting behavior includes:

•Cheating

•Collusion

•Bribery

•Stalling

•Behaving in a manner which could be interpreted by a reasonable person as bullying,

harassment, belligerent, stalking, vulgar, obscene, threatening, or hurtful

•Knowingly lying to an event leader

•Encroaching on a participant’s personal privacy or safety

•Purposely violating other behavior guidelines at a venue

•Repeatedly refusing to abide by the instructions of an event

 

If any of the above happens at a tournament, report it to the tournament organizer or marshal. If it's happening at a store but not at a tournament, talk to the store owner or whoever's working at the store. However, there are no rules that require a player to go easy on a new player.

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We had a player like that in my area for Armada.  Rather than players quitting to avoid him, he was just basically pushed out, as people began to refuse to play HIM, rather than play the game.  Then he got banned from a particular store's tournaments, and he just drifted off to other games (and, by all accounts, rotates through games as each group gets tired of him).  Encourage those other players to come back, and just freeze out the problem player.  Refuse to play him, don't allow him into tournaments (get your store owners/operators on board for this too).

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Posted (edited)

It's a tough thing to deal with, especially in a small growing community. In my experience being straight forward with the person is a good solution. They may get upset or act up when confronted, but at least nothing has been unspoken. If you bring to his attention that his behavior is causing an issue, and it persists, you can involve the store owner, or you could simply organize with the other people who are turned off by his behavior to not play him. There's nothing that states you HAVE to play him, and if after being confronted he's still unwilling to adopt a good attitude, and sportsmanlike behavior, just don't play him. 

I would also recommend a read-over of Cannot Get Your Ship Out's tilt advice. It may be a different game than Armada, but tilting is universal.

https://cannotgetyourshipout.blogspot.com/2017/07/tilting-and-you.html

Also, always remember:

WnSLIp0.gif

Edited by Darth Sanguis

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25 minutes ago, Admiral Theia said:

We had a player like that in my area for Armada.  Rather than players quitting to avoid him, he was just basically pushed out, as people began to refuse to play HIM, rather than play the game.  Then he got banned from a particular store's tournaments, and he just drifted off to other games (and, by all accounts, rotates through games as each group gets tired of him).  Encourage those other players to come back, and just freeze out the problem player.  Refuse to play him, don't allow him into tournaments (get your store owners/operators on board for this too).

^^^ this, get with the other players, play them, and refuse to play with this guy.

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11 minutes ago, The Jabbawookie said:

I think both @Darth Sanguis and @Admiral Theia have excellent advice here: give him a gentle but firm warning if you have the stomach for it (because if he’s socially inept he might be blind to how inappropriate his behavior is) then start talking with other players if he’s not putting two and two together.

Yeah.  I should have mentioned that the freeze out came after myself and another person spent the better part of a year trying to coach him on his behaviors (behaviors I'd had to overcome myself in my younger days), and him refusing to change.  Finally he directly insulted me in a conversation and I've not spoken two words to him since, refusing to even acknowledge him until if/when he apologizes.

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So just an update I texted him. Basically said "let's teach the new guy tips and tricks and go easy on him. Build him up to Tournament level. Because stomping him everytime is just going to get him disinterested." 

No reply. 🙄

To be honest I wish I could just play Armada instead of X-wing. But there are basically zero players for that also. I've played Armada 3 times. Nobody at the store is interested either. Atleast I have my SSD to look forward too! It's basically war hammer 40k and magic at the store. SIGH.....

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2 hours ago, Draconis80 said:

So just an update I texted him. Basically said "let's teach the new guy tips and tricks and go easy on him. Build him up to Tournament level. Because stomping him everytime is just going to get him disinterested." 

No reply. 🙄

To be honest I wish I could just play Armada instead of X-wing. But there are basically zero players for that also. I've played Armada 3 times. Nobody at the store is interested either. Atleast I have my SSD to look forward too! It's basically war hammer 40k and magic at the store. SIGH.....

Vassal!

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Ohhh man...

I loves me my little plastic spaceships.  However, at least for myself, one of the reasons I like little plastic spaceships is that when I was growing up, success in more "mainstream" (for lack of a better word) activities was difficult for me due to a lack of social acumen.  I wouldn't be surprised if some other gamers got their gaming start for similar reasons, including your tilter.  I don't know what to say other than I sympathize with you, but I also sympathize with this antagonistic person as well.  I once took my wife into a local gaming store so I could buy a bottle of paint: as I was chatting with one of the managers about the Armada scene she grabbed my arm and asked if we could leave.  She got creeped out by what she called the "greasiness" of the store and the patrons: something about the decrepit folding chairs/tables, the smell of nachos, unkempt hair, and one too many too tight t-shirts revealing a little too much detail for not-the-most-in-shape dudes... but inside I was thinking, "that's me too though!"

Speaking as someone who needed to "be helped"out of some pretty severe social anxiety, my main advice is that the level of confrontation you bring to a person should be proportional to the level of trust that person gives to you.  Otherwise, you're probably not going to be heard.  I wouldn't give up on this person, though- we all have our blind spots, we all have aspects of ourselves that we'd rather not have, and it's not so easy to get out of habits that may have been built up over years of practice (and in some cases, years of trauma).

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4 hours ago, DUR said:

Speaking as someone who needed to "be helped"out of some pretty severe social anxiety, my main advice is that the level of confrontation you bring to a person should be proportional to the level of trust that person gives to you.  Otherwise, you're probably not going to be heard.  I wouldn't give up on this person, though- we all have our blind spots, we all have aspects of ourselves that we'd rather not have, and it's not so easy to get out of habits that may have been built up over years of practice (and in some cases, years of trauma).

That's the thing, I want to help the guy. I believe he has some sort of control issue going on. Generally speaking if I know something and can help someone. I'd like to help and share my knowledge. Our store isn't too high a level of grease. I was very hesitant to play these games because of that stigmata to be honest. But being more social is healthier. 

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30 minutes ago, Draconis80 said:

That's the thing, I want to help the guy. I believe he has some sort of control issue going on. Generally speaking if I know something and can help someone. I'd like to help and share my knowledge. Our store isn't too high a level of grease. I was very hesitant to play these games because of that stigmata to be honest. But being more social is healthier. 

It’s good you’re being empathetic.  But ignoring you is not a viable long-term strategy.  Take him aside for a direct conversation.  Once he has to respond, that will give you more of a basis for deciding if it’s freeze time or there’s hope.

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As others have said, just don’t play with him. It sounds like there are a few other people who would be into the game if they didn’t have to play with him. Well, they don’t — now they can play with you.

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Posted (edited)

Next time he tries to rage quit be a true viking and grab an ax and slam it into his pricest model then demand to make the square and fight him to the death. Make the ground red with his blood! Strip him of what he has plundered! Make him cry out for mercy! And there shall be none! NO MERCY!images(14).jpg.09b33bbb079e9f0b3078a1acb82c4694.jpg

Edited by LordTesla

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2 hours ago, jbc98k said:

Draconis80 does the player in question work for FFG by chance?

He's probably the guy in charge of releasing Armada articles and he saw this and went "nope! No articles for you now!"

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To the OP, while I commend you on not wanting to just kick this player out into the cold, you can never change someone who is not ready to do so.  My advice to is to try and stay in touch with him if you want, but you need to reform the meta with out him.

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On 1/9/2019 at 9:35 AM, jbc98k said:

Draconis80 does the player in question work for FFG by chance?

No, he's a part time programmer. Really smart guy knows the rules very well. Just zero social skills. I think he spends too much free time on the game because he has nothing else to do. I can't even trade ships with the guy. He is that socially clueless.

Played a X-wing game with him today. Basically rage quit against the double dash list. He had Resistance X-wings x4 with heavy laser cannon. I wanted to tell him. "Oh you don't like getting stomped? Funny, you don't think of that when you fly Tournament lists every week." But I didn't. I think he heard me talking with the new guy. I only flew the list to piss him off. He'll also sit there and wait to see what I'm using before he picks his 3 lists he brought with him.

Next time I talk with him I'm going to ask him how many people use to play at the store.

I really wish I could find an Armada group. So tired of playing him. The game with the new guy was actually fun! I threw a list together in 5 mins. Tried the new resistance A-wings. Didn't try too hard. (Headache and head cold.) Still a close game. He won. But I had fun.

It's just really sad when someone uses tournament list every week. Never wants to try anything new. Freaks out when you look up the rules or get a judge. I'd like to help the guy but even when I attempted to do that it was like pulling teeth. I'm no physiologist but I think his parent's were super controlling. Which would explain the reason he acts the way he does.

Edited by Draconis80
Changed ****** to clueless.

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