Embarrassed by Xwing?

[TheColossal 9]

Hi all,

First time posting on these forums, created this account so I could get your thoughts and experiences. I've been playing since Wave 6. I'm a competitive player and have had plenty of success in lots of tourneys. If you play on vassal, you've definitely seen me 

 

Last weekend, I won an event at my FLGS. I was absolutely delighted and on such a high for a couple of days as a result. On Monday, when people at work asked what I did for the weekend, I felt too embarrassed to tell them about my victory. I'm very passionate about Xwing, and spend so much time playing, theory crafting, listening to podcasts etc., but I keep that stuff totally separate from my day-to-day. 

 

I know the short and simple answer is to be proud of my hobby; if people can't handle it, screw them. Really, I'm just wondering if anyone else has a similar experience? I'd love to know how all of you manage your Xwing life with your outside life.

 

For example, on one podcast, they discussed when you should tell a girl you are dating that you play! This has genuinely been a problem for me as well  

 

Thanks,

Colossal

[PhantomFO 8,979]

I feel no shame. Let your geek flag fly.

[Jeff Wilder 5,212]

Gaming is usually a life-style hobby.  Whether you share it with someone depends on whether they're close enough that you're okay with them being aware of your lifestyle.

At work, when people ask me what I did over the weekend, I usually say, "Nerdy stuff."  If they dig deeper, I'll tell them in lesser or greater detail, depending on who it is.

It's not a matter of being ashamed ... I wouldn't be any more forthcoming, at work, if I consistently volunteered for 20 hours at a food bank.

[ScummyRebel 4,594]

I'll just direct you to some of the best advice I ever picked up from the Star Wars legends universe....

"You can't look dignified when you're having fun." - Wes Janson

Do what you enjoy doing, and don't worry what others think. A girl worth dating will understand you have a hobby and respect it. Friends worth having won't make it a huge deal (unless you're the sort that's always giving each other crap, but that's a whole other dynamic and not personal).

I'm married, my wife doesn't play and has no interest whatsoever, but as long as I get what had to be done out of the way and I don't take ALL the spare time on it (also known as basic give and take of any relationship) then there is no problem.

[shadowswalker 261]

I talk about how I do at tournaments all the time with my co-workers. I bring my ships in to work and show them off. Everyone gets excited to see my new toys. Don't feel embarrassed. Most people will think your hobby is cool.

[Jadotch 1,376]

I am not, but I am old. Maybe 15 years ago I would have been, but today, not at all. I think it is just coming into your own.

Also OWN it! You did good! You should not be embarrassed by your passions and something you are good at. You will get a lot more respect from co-workers if you just put it out there, "I like this nerdy game, it is fun, it is a hobby. I don't care what you think."

In the end they really *don't* care. If they like you they will accept it, if they don't it, doesn't matter what your hobbies are.

Now I am embarrassed how much I spend on the dang game.

Edited August 3, 2017 by Jadotch
Grammar & Spelling

[Hexdot 1,340]

No problem about X wing. People in general think X Wing is simply nerdy. More problems if I tell them I recreated a small part of the Battle of the Bulge. SS side. 

If you are a wargamer in "say no to war" environment sometimes it is better to simply say "soccer and beers". 

[Magnus Grendel 10,578]

I kind of got lucky here - I met my future wife when at a friends house; I'd never met her before that evening, she was moving in, I was there to run an RPG game night (Deathwatch, at the time) - laden with half a dozen hardback books you can't exactly avoid the subject had I been inclined to, but she had a try and lied it (and is our most regular player, now).

Ultimately, it shouldn't be something you're embarrassed about, nor something you take too seriously.

As long as you can accept that ultimately, you're playing with toy spaceships, why should you be any more embarrassed than people who are busy watching someone else chase an inflated pig's bladder around a lawn?

 

[Djaskim609 422]

Lots of good advice here; share your xwing experience if you want. If playing makes you happy, that is all that matters. What makes our hobby any less worthy than any number of things people do in their free time? 

[nigeltastic 3,808]

The key is everyone is a nerd about something unless they're more boring than sandpaper. People who play fantasy football and wear jerseys and have big game day parties? Big nerds. It's no different than people who dress up as storm troopers and have big watch parties for star wars movies. Sure sometimes different types of nerds get different societal treatment but in a grown up work place with adults who aren't ***** there shouldn't be any judgement based on if you spend your free time golfing, larping, or vigorously exterminating religious terrorists with your sleek grey imperial might.

[Hujoe Bigs 2,071]

My co workers offer to fill shifts for me if I wanna make a regional or something otherwise. No reason to hide a hobby. Nerds are the future now. Embrace it.

[Djaskim609 422]

Just now, nigeltastic said:

The key is everyone is a nerd about something unless they're more boring than sandpaper. People who play fantasy football and wear jerseys and have big game day parties? Big nerds. It's no different than people who dress up as storm troopers and have big watch parties for star wars movies. Sure sometimes different types of nerds get different societal treatment but in a grown up work place with adults who aren't ***** there shouldn't be any judgement based on if you spend your free time golfing, larping, or vigorously exterminating religious terrorists with your sleek grey imperial might.

Yes!!! And you should hear the fantasy football people complain about the meta and argue about filthy casuals. 

[ficklegreendice 34,359]

no need to feel embarassed

at the same time, it's gonna be difficult to impart what exactly happened to people who don't actually know the game

[StriderZessei 860]

8 minutes ago, Magnus Grendel said:

I kind of got lucky here - I met my future wife when at a friends house; I'd never met her before that evening, she was moving in, I was there to run an RPG game night (Deathwatch, at the time) - laden with half a dozen hardback books you can't exactly avoid the subject had I been inclined to, but she had a try and lied it (and is our most regular player, now).

Ultimately, it shouldn't be something you're embarrassed about, nor something you take too seriously.

As long as you can accept that ultimately, you're playing with toy spaceships, why should you be any more embarrassed than people who are busy watching someone else chase an inflated pig's bladder around a lawn?

 

Living the dream right there, Grendy.

[TheColossal 9]

4 minutes ago, Djaskim609 said:

Lots of good advice here; share your xwing experience if you want. If playing makes you happy, that is all that matters. What makes our hobby any less worthy than any number of things people do in their free time? 

Well, that's exactly it. I could be wrong, but there seems to be a stigma around miniature gaming, CCG, RPGs etc. My family and close friends know I'm involved. But when I tell people, I do sometimes get funny looks. While I know it's really no different to most other hobbies, people still treat it differently. 




Nothing is going to change, I'm WAYYYYY to invested emotionally and financially in this game to quit now   Great to hear all this feedback though, really not the kind of responses I was expecting   

[wurms 5,044]

It's no more embarassing than someone going to a Ed Sheeran concert over the weekend, or a book reading from an author. That is their hobby and this is ours. I dont like theirs as much as they don't like mine. If people ask me, I say a "game tournament" to give them an 'out' so they can say "aw,sounds fun, see ya later" or if that catches their ears and they ask more then I will go into as much detail as they like. My two closest co-workers are sci-fi nerds though. One wears star wars t-shirts and the other has voltron figurines on his desk, so they are always up for good X-wing banter. 

And I will leave with a quote from LA LA Land

"People love what other people are passionate about"

[ViscerothSWG 3,940]

I'd say I competed in a competitive tournament and let then ask further if they want to. 

I was embarrassed at first talking about it, but gaming is no more niche than gardening or sports, etc. Lots of people hold game nights these days, you're just doing that in an organized tournament. 

Maybe they are fans of star wars, maybe they just like good games, but you could be helping grow the game. And even if not, I had a buddy at work that turns out competed in regional volleyball tournaments. I thought that no more unusual than x-wing, and neither did he and from then on we could ask each other how we did at events.

[Zazaa 563]

Geek is new black! Has been for long time now, it used to be "shameful", but now I talk openly about my hobbies, rpg, miniatures and PC gaming. People seem more interested in these things.. 

[BlodVargarna 4,041]

@TheColossal I get it. I don't tell many people at work about my hobby. I like to keep my work life and my personal life separate. 

If I played in a tournament or something when the "what did you do this weekend?" question comes up at work I usually respond with "oh I just hung out it was cool" unless I know the person well, like them, and trust they won't be a judgemental a-hole, inwhich case I'll say "I played some miniatures games."

 

Edited August 3, 2017 by BlodVargarna

[STELE 9]

I do get what you are asking here. I am in a cabinet level position for a large school district. If some of my employees found out, I am sure they would think differently. The reality is most people don't know the skill level and intelligence that goes into the game. If I were to mention I played chess, people would get it because the paradigm is that chess players are smart. People don't know Xwing and therefore have no idea what it takes to be good at it. Therefore, they assume it is some kid game. I have been playing Xwing for awhile now and have met a lot of players who I hold in the same regard as chess players... It takes a high level of intelligence to be good in our game. So, my advice is if you share your passion of playing xwing, try to give those who no nothing about the game an idea of the intelligence it takes to play (i usually relate it to math concepts and high levels of implied reading skills because people get that) and the strategic thinking that goes into it like chess. 

My wife for awhile thought it was childish, but now gets it because I made it a point while getting my son to learn the game the complexity and skills it takes to apply the language on the cards, geometry, probabilities in dice, and cause and effect in making decisions. At my store championship, my wife actually texted me good luck as I went 4-1 trying to make top 4. If my wife can change her paradigm with the game, anyone can:)

So, be proud of what you do, but set the stage first if you share our great game of Xwing.

[Slugrage 5,007]

I'm in my mid 40s. Everyone around me - friends, coworkers, random hangers-on - they all know I'm a Star Wars geek/nerd. I have no problem admitting it. I fully admit to playing games with toy plastic space ships (and yes, that's the wording I use). As everyone else said, own it.

[General Kenobi's Chicken 141]

As others have mentioned, this is also an age thing. At 25, you care about the universe's opinion of you; at 35, you care about what hundreds of people think of you; at 45, you care about what the wife and a few friends think of you; at 55, the wife is on notice. 

[ScummyRebel 4,594]

3 minutes ago, General Kenobi's Chicken said:

As others have mentioned, this is also an age thing. At 25, you care about the universe's opinion of you; at 35, you care about what hundreds of people think of you; at 45, you care about what the wife and a few friends think of you; at 55, the wife is on notice. 

I'm not really to 35, but if your chart is correct I'm at 45-50. Yikes.

[General Kenobi's Chicken 141]

1 minute ago, ScummyRebel said:

I'm not really to 35, but if your chart is correct I'm at 45-50. Yikes.

Experience will vary. As you get older, you more and more realize what really matters and what deserves care. That's my experience anyway. 

[Volkren 153]

One thing I want to say and recover from this topic (post) is being a nerd has never been so "popular". Nowadays you can say "I play miniature games" without the fear of been related to the creepy guy with no social life in his mother basement, of couse, don't go to the extreme side and dress as Vader and go around choking people hahaha . Things are changing because we are the ones that are changing it, if you keep embarrassing yourself about playing miniatures games, people will asume that it is something to be embarrassed about, and it isn't.

Nowadays board and video gaming are taking an important role in today's society entretainning. You can see videogamers taking "sport" visas to travel to regionals/worlds. You can even take your minis (like @shadowswalker and I do) and put them on your office desk, showing them off to people (of course you can take your Interceptors, they won't be needed in any time soon :'( nobody will recognize the OP toilet seat the JM5K is hahahaha) 

Lastly, take the new Worlds Champion for example, he's a Lawyer (as myself). A profession that usually needs to be formal and serious, nobody expects to see a guy in suit and so playing with some plastic miniatures, and yet, I do that the days I leave early from my work and play at my local Store. I mean, people "expect" people to behave as we think they should, but it depends to us to change that thinking. 

 

 

Cheers and good luck (y)

Edited September 18, 2017 by Volkren