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ASCI Blue

pouty player

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44 minutes ago, ASCI Blue said:

There are also game halting issues about the way certain races should be based off other lore (specifically elves as my gf is playing a Sephi-semi-human similar to Fey). She has her own lore for how her race is. This player tries to argue that elves are slutty and will bang anything with a pulse. From what I can find only a few groups of elves are actually like this and this isn't one of them.

The player should mind his own business about how other people play their PC.  If someone wants to play a sober bookish Gnome with no sense of humour, so be it.

I guess I would do a few things.  First, talk to him privately and ask him to refrain from commenting on how other people play, and also let him know that the constant focus on sex is making you and other people disinterested.  Maybe give him a limit of one sexual reference per session...I'm not a fan of "in game" penalties, but maybe you can make a joke out of it and auto-upgrade his skill difficulties if he exceeds his reference quota ... clearly his PC is too distracted by sexual thoughts to pick that lock very well (or whatever), and  a couple of Despairs will make him think twice.  (And of course you could also castrate him with the right critical...losing an appendage... :P )

Second is accelerate the plot.  You can weave in all the other PC's specific interests by making them useful to plot resolution, in other words, refocus their efforts towards what will count for the story.

Third:  what's with the PC's NPCs?  That sounds like each PC gets a little power base, which only encourages their independence and distances them from the rest of the party.  Kill them off at the first opportunity.

 

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screw it:

Quote
I'm becoming more and more frustrated in this game. How the group judges and condemns on a regular basis is foreboding. Especially for supposedly being heroes of
the galaxy doing good works, righting wrongs, and being sypmathetic and compassionate to the plight of the downtrodden. I think it's noteworthy that the Sith, of all people, is the
most sympathetic and compassionate member of the group.
 
Tucker doesn't give a **** about anything that doesn't help him pursue his mysterious biogenetic agenda. I have no idea what that is, but I'm concerned. My
suspicion is that the only reason he helped track down Kysara (one of his NPCs) , was because <name redacted to protect the player> the player would have had nothing else to do that game if he didn't. It just happened to have the happy side effect of expanding Tucker's contacts to do whatever his own thing is. Jaran and company is simply a means to an end and another tool in the toolbox to get what Tucker wants done, without thought about how it may affect them.
 
Jix just doesn't want to deal with any problem that isn't mechanics or computers. Maybe it's just too hard to relate to flesh and blood instead of the machine?
 
Lia gets to be a sexy ****, but because it's external, that's okay somehow?
 
Jenestra is willfully ignorant and judgy about other cultures and social mores because it doesn't fit within her idea of how things are supposed to work. If her parent
culture is based on elves, I'm even more confused. Elves are known for being far more open about sex and sexuality than most cultures in the settings that elves are placed in.
The ironic version of events is that her parents were not traditional themselves, in the sense that they pursued an exclusive, monogomous relationship with each other, then
suppressed and hid what the rest of their people act like from Jenestra as she grew up. The Jedi could have very well had a hand in influencing her societal views, sure, but from
what I remember, she was already an adult by the time she joined the order. So where does this blinkered idea of how things work come from?

 

This is the opening part of the first page, gripes about the rping. Gripes about lore which are incorrect gripes. Allowing NPCs was to help with plot stuff and if we needed a body but lacked a skill set. With the additional players I didn't expect (2) we have all our holes pretty well filled with a reasonable overlap as well.

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As an in game penalty, I was planning an assassin of a Sith that my gf introduced. 6's where it counts, female, and force using with one of the lightsaber dart things. There would be such a low probability of survival it would be awesome. :P 

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You really should talk it over with the players, both individually and as a group.  I had a problem in my group, that I didn't realize was a problem until after the player left on his own.  I was told by several players, after the fact, that they did not like gaming with him, because they found him "creepy".  Also found my wife had the same problem.  I didn't notice, and no one talked to me about it.  Now I try to make sure I get a feel from everyone how they feel about the other players.  Especially if they don't hang out together outside of game.

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I would like to echo the other advice given:

 

1. talk to the player in question and tell them that it's making you and the group uncomfortable

2. have a frank talk with the group about what kind of game you all want to play and what things you all don't want in there (e.g. sexual themes, torture, slavery, jar jar)

3. avoid in-game penalties for bad OOC behavior 

4. certainly impose in-game penalties for in-game behavior

5. maintain a level head and apply the same rules to everyone

6. encourage players to bring concerning problems to you privately

I assume that everyone at the table are friends, so I opt for lovin' healing over banishment.  A person might not know that their behavior could be seen as creepy, and a gentle conversation could preserve and build friendships rather than end them.  It won't always work, but aspiring to be inclusive seems to be a good way to bring others to our beloved hobby.  I'd like to think that we play these roles to grow as people.   

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So more intel from a mutual friend, the dude that introduced us: This has been an ongoing issue for 5 previous campaigns of his. It was phrased 'A small army won't game with him' due to these tantrums and demanding a personal haram. There has already been talking which resulted in further tantrums. Pouty has successfully ruined an epic campaign per the guy running it. Same story over virtually all of them too: Ex soldier with countless women who want his ****. If they don't get along, tantrum, if he can't have them all tantrum.

 

Weeks ago we did a serious lore talk. At the time pouty was fine, now he's not. Given this appears to be habitual behavior I think the decision made itself. I will take notes of recommendations for use in whatever I do next since I really want to run/participate in a game. Further comments are welcome as well.

 

Thank you all for your recommendations and guidance. I will await to see his reply to my e-mail before making the final decision about pulling the plug.

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At this point I'm surprised that your party is even tolerating him. I've never been fond of people telling how other pc's should act like he wrote their character out himself. And based on his attitude even if there were "slutty elves" in the universe he doesn't sound like the kind of person they would bother with. I feel like I would flat out tell him no other pc in this game owes you a **** thing (especially not their bodies if they aren't interested) and if you can't handle that then maybe you shouldn't game with other people. 

I don't mind sex involved in games but I prefer to keep it bland. Just played a Jade Regent Caravan adventure path and one of the options is a bordello wagon (prostitution wagon)  for your caravan for the caravan to make money off of. I didn't see any of my fellow gamers ooing and aweing over it or demanding their own bordello wagon. Sounds like he's the kind of person that would. Or would get one and demand they only service him. 

Honestly that kind of behavior makes me wonder about a person. Like am I gaming with that guy that's going to lose his **** on some poor woman that was nice to him because he thinks she owes him sex?
 

Is he Littlefinger from GoT?

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holy hell....   Ya you need to eject now.  Planning, organizing and running a campaign is enough work, never mind dealing with this Bantha poodoo.   Shut it down and start a new campaign with a group that wants to get along and enjoy STARWARS.  

And next time set the house rules up front.  Make sure everyone understands the type of story you want to tell and that they are on the same page.

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I thought I had done a decent enough job with lore and extra rules in the beginning but apparently not. This is dually noted for next time, I may already have a couple replacements, another two friends who are also a couple and they have another mutual friend who may be interested too.

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3 hours ago, ASCI Blue said:

This has been an ongoing issue for 5 previous campaigns of his. It was phrased 'A small army won't game with him' due to these tantrums and demanding a personal haram. There has already been talking which resulted in further tantrums. Pouty has successfully ruined an epic campaign per the guy running it. Same story over virtually all of them too: Ex soldier with countless women who want his ****. If they don't get along, tantrum, if he can't have them all tantrum.

I've had a player like that, and frankly I don't see a means to fix it.  In fact it was a person like that who would show up to EVERY game at the FLGS and people just stopped playing there.  Sounds like a real source of poison for your community; while I am all for inclusiveness, if this person can't mend their ways they're better left off the invite list.  However, it's worth noting that such personalities can be unbalanced and might present a safety issue.  Tread carefully my friend!

Edited by themensch
spelling

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21 minutes ago, ASCI Blue said:

I'm lucky in that I have a lame excuse to evacuate the game, being a student has its benefits sometime and I'm at my second to last semester. :D

You know you might consider not using an excuse and just tell the guy why.  Flicking him in the marble bag with his nonsense might be the best thing that's happened to him....

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Based off further talk with the mutual friend, who I may try to get into this game, he may not reply and simply pout or he may try to justify his actions. I'm still waiting on a reply to my previous email about axing the game.

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It gets more odd with every post Oo

Tantrum throwing players need their mothers to calm them down, not an RPG group ;-)

But at the same time it is hard to imagine a non-damaged person throwing tantrums about the sex life of his RPG character or how someone like this gets tolerate more than 15 minutes on a game table … this getting from a little odd to absolutely bizarre. But well, dissolving the group sounds smart. 

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I'm still trying to figure out where this obsession/addiction comes from. Dude's wife is very attractive and seems to be enthusiastic to be taken care of and take care of things. Still no update from the player in question, working on recruiting.

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I clicked on this thread expecting a player to be angry, but not because of something as absurd as this.

I will echo the voices of everyone here and say that that player just needs to grow up. Asking to have NPCs so that he can effectively comb them into "sex slaves" while calling other members of the party s**ts is even more ridiculous than a thirteen year old D & D player high on testosterone trying to bonk everything that moves. 

Call out the behaviour. I don't even see why it's a question. Friends don't let friends be misogynistic jerks. Period.

Edited by theaficionado

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The behavior is far from a hatred of women, tossing a word like misogynistic with a definitive lack of the action it devalues the word and its meaning.

Either way still waiting for a reply to the first thing he sent. At this point I think he's pouting in a corner somewhere and likely won't reply to me.

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Misogyny can be manifested in numerous ways, including social exclusion, sex discrimination, hostility, androcentrism, patriarchy, male privilege, belittling of women, violence against women, and sexual objectification.

I fail to see how what you've described doesn't at least fit the two underlined categories. 

I'm not trying to start a fight with you. I commend you for calling him out on it. You may not want to see it that way because he's your friend, but I think such an attitude is pretty indicative of something...

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