FFG Humor (Star Wars & The Imperium of Man)

[MorbidDon 178]

The people at FFG are luck I'm all lazy and such or I'd get some of my friends together and do some online sessions (then post em on Youtube) whereby the Imperium "discovers" the Star Wars Galaxy (in a time and a Galaxy far far away I recall an intro saying > so that aint the Milky Way)

 

Then through the course of the Emperor's will - have the Imperium wreck shop on FFG's chosen product line LMFAO

 

P.S. All them Jedi and Sith sound like nothing more to me then a bunch of dirty psykers (dare I call them Physical Adepts) who are begging for a galactic purging!

 

Morbid

[MijRai 196]

See, I would feel really bad for the Star Wars universe if this happened.  They've had to deal with a couple 'evil' Empires before, but I'm reasonably sure the Imperium would take the cake for the worst in general.  

[AxeSpanna 40]

It's not just the Jedi and Sith that are the problem! The rest of the humans are a bunch of xenos lovers, and need purging too!

[MijRai 196]

No, they need re-education and indoctrination to the Imperial Creed.  Any dissenters are xenos-loving heretics who need purging too!

[Sgt Goon 11]

Your most powerful psykers can choke people with their minds and shoot lightning from their fingers?

 

Dawww. That's adorable.

[ThenDoctor 861]

Your most powerful psykers can choke people with their minds and shoot lightning from their fingers?

 

Dawww. That's adorable.

 

I mean they have the occasional one that can rip a star destroyer out of the sky. But that's not any worse than any other Alpha.

[MorbidDon 178]

Suddenly Black Voidships appear accompanied by other craft of a far more baroque and militant design...

Kilometer long silhouettes stand stark against Coruscant's star as more and more of their shapes de-translate into material space over the heretics' capital world.

Edited September 21, 2016 by MorbidDon

[AxeSpanna 40]

AFAIK, the SW universe doesn't have teleportation...

So their shield tech probably won't be set to block those energy frequencies.

Can you say " Terminator deep strike" ?

[Servant of Dante 100]

AFAIK, the SW universe doesn't have teleportation...

So their shield tech probably won't be set to block those energy frequencies.

Can you say " Terminator deep strike" ?

(Does the new republic have a senate? oh, whatever) 

 

-Senate debate in progress

-Terminators telport in in terminator armour.

-the glorious sound their storm bolters make in that large echoie chamber

 

Or we can just let the Death Company loose. 

 

Oh my, Sisters of Battle vs. Jedi/sith/whatever they're all heretics. I imagine their mind tricks have no effect.

 

Then you have the Imperial Guard slugging it out with whatever enemies there are around. The locals where confused when the Commissar gave the order to affix bayonettes and charge for no reason (he wanted to hit it with his sword).

 

-Mechanicus drops Imperator titan on Coruscant

-it crashes through a kilometer of old streets before getting stuck in a heap of trash.

 

 

 

Your most powerful psykers can choke people with their minds and shoot lightning from their fingers?

 

Dawww. That's adorable.

 

I mean they have the occasional one that can rip a star destroyer out of the sky. But that's not any worse than any other Alpha.

 

-Sith shoots lightning at Blood Angels Librarian

-Librarian literally boils his blood, causing him to explode.

 

Hum . . . you roll the right powers and your librarian can be a proper muscle wizard. Power Fist, Warp Speed, Lightning Fists (or whatever that one is called) "I CAST FIST!!!"

 

Man, there are few thing that make me happier than putting the Imperium into another sci-fi universe and watching them stomp the locals into the ground.

[Vorzakk 1,131]

Man, there are few thing that make me happier than putting the Imperium into another sci-fi universe and watching them stomp the locals into the ground.

 

Years back I had a long-running GURPS campaign which was essentially a ridiculous kitchen-sink crossover setting with the content of various regions having been adapted from a wide variety of different sci-fi sources.  The last major arc before I shelved the campaign involved the various factions of the 40K area invading the rest of known space.  They got beaten back eventually, but not before inflicting unprecedented devastation throughout most of the setting.  Good times.

[AxeSpanna 40]

Just visualize the look on some Jedi's face as his light sabre fizzles out from a haywire grenade's field...

[Robin Graves 6,049]

Black library has occasionaly gotten in on the fun aswell:

 

In one of the HH novels the spacewolves capture what's basically the death star and crash it into the orbiting planet. BOOM!

 

And Eisenhorns powersword has a blade made of pure energy: ie a lightsaber.

 

But mostly they like splicing in bits from the Cthulhu mythos (Chtonia, Hastur Sejanus, the Hall of Leng,etc..)

[Robin Graves 6,049]

[Robin Graves 6,049]

[ThenDoctor 861]

And Eisenhorns powersword has a blade made of pure energy: ie a lightsaber.

 

DH has those as well. The Sollex Energy Blades if I remember.

[Robin Graves 6,049]

How about the ground battles?

 

AT-ATs vs Titans!

 

Droidekas vs Necrons!

 

Stormtroopers vs Imperstormtroopers!

 

Clone troopers vs Deathcorps of Krieg!

 

Gungans vs ...what's the 40k equivalent of a gungan?

[Robin Graves 6,049]

 

And Eisenhorns powersword has a blade made of pure energy: ie a lightsaber.

 

DH has those as well. The Sollex Energy Blades if I remember.

 

 

I wonder if there's anything else?

[Robin Graves 6,049]

Oh how about aliens?

 

Space marines vs space marines!

 

Astartes vs xenomorfs and Hicks vs a genestealer.

 

Riply would kill a hive tirant in single combat. Just sayin'.

[Robin Graves 6,049]

[AxeSpanna 40]

They should think themselves lucky that we're only discussing having the Imperium turn up!

What would it be like if a black crusade had got there instead?

( A planet under attack by Slaanesh cultists)

Planetary Moff: " They're doing WHAT to the people they've captured?"

[AxeSpanna 40]

How about the ground battles?

 

AT-ATs vs Titans!

 

Droidekas vs Necrons!

 

Stormtroopers vs Imperstormtroopers!

 

Clone troopers vs Deathcorps of Krieg!

 

Gungans vs ...what's the 40k equivalent of a gungan?

Probably grotz!

[Robin Graves 6,049]

They should think themselves lucky that we're only discussing having the Imperium turn up!

What would it be like if a black crusade had got there instead?

( A planet under attack by Slaanesh cultists)

Planetary Moff: " They're doing WHAT to the people they've captured?"

 

What if that planet was (pre ep VI) Tatooine?

 

Jabba the hutt: (translated) "What do you mean, they all want to be slave girls?"

[Robin Graves 6,049]

 

How about the ground battles?

 

AT-ATs vs Titans!

 

Droidekas vs Necrons!

 

Stormtroopers vs Imperstormtroopers!

 

Clone troopers vs Deathcorps of Krieg!

 

Gungans vs ...what's the 40k equivalent of a gungan?

Probably grotz!

 

 

Make it snotlings! I kinda like grotz

[MorbidDon 178]

LMFAO+1

[AxeSpanna 40]

Now consider what happens once the Adeptus Mechanicus get involved...

A certain smart-mouthed , gold plated, translation 'droid would automatically be destroyed as an example of "Abominable Intelligence".

The DeathStar wouldn't be destroyed, all it would need is the infiltration of a couple of Tech Priests to talk to the machine spirits (and convince them that they aren't being treated with the proper respect) to get it to change sides.

Edited September 24, 2016 by AxeSpanna