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Brother Malachai

You Know You're Playing Deathwatch When...

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 Hope that being a GM does not disqualify me from writing here... ;).

When dropping Frag Grenades at your feet is considered a proper tactic...

 

 

I'm running a game atm and this is fairly common, room only 4X4 meters? are you only 1 meter away? are your squad mates in CC already? no prob, chuck a frag! Has to role almost perfect damage to hurt you anyway.  The only reason the assault marine does not start combat my punching things with grenades is because her giant, un-powed claymore  just murders everything faster. 

 

Oh and to add my own: When a melee mini-boss human officer is able to survive the initial hit it makes your day.  When he actually does a point of damage with his shock maul it's like a xeno blessed miracle, and when your player just smiles because they get to test against shock damage at over 100...yeah, there was no second hit  :D

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...when your character has more cybernetics and less humanity than the average Borg.

...when you can fight an alien enemy who has millions of years of technological advancement over you and still kill him with a sword.

...you play a character who is a genetically enhanced superhuman wearing cybernetic power armor that uses an advanced gyrojet weapon and carries a leather pouch with a tribal fetish in it and has a rack of skulls in his room.

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 ... When using Teleportarium you are accidentally teleported in the middle of main enemy force - and you consider this a good thing, since now you don't have to look for them...

... When killing 10 people in 4 seconds isn't an achievement...

... When your players complain that it's not fair that Chaos has access to some unique and fun toys and they don't, while using Plasma Barrage Gun, Deathwatch Suspensors and Squad Modes to murder said Chaos with no problem...

 

 ... When Perils of the Warp while destroying the alien portal end up summoning Herald of Khorne and 8 Bloodletters, your immidate reaction is "Cool! Can they survive more than 1 turn?" and "Hey, look, new Objective! Do you think we get more Renown for that? I'm 6 short of Distinguished..."

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 ... When using Teleportarium you are accidentally teleported in the middle of main enemy force - and you consider this a good thing, since now you don't have to look for them...

... When killing 10 people in 4 seconds isn't an achievement...

... When your players complain that it's not fair that Chaos has access to some unique and fun toys and they don't, while using Plasma Barrage Gun, Deathwatch Suspensors and Squad Modes to murder said Chaos with no problem...

 

 ... When Perils of the Warp while destroying the alien portal end up summoning Herald of Khorne and 8 Bloodletters, your immidate reaction is "Cool! Can they survive more than 1 turn?" and "Hey, look, new Objective! Do you think we get more Renown for that? I'm 6 short of Distinguished..."

I'm surprised some chaos marines can't use squad more, like the alpha legion. You'd think that would be second nature to them.

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When a literal army of enemies makes for a few rounds of combat. Or one.

 

When legendary enemies who threaten sectors (and buffed stats to match) go down halfway through a surprise round.

This, this I have found to be literally ANY D20 based game. Also Happened to me in Necromunda, and D10.... player characters are evil.

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When a literal army of enemies makes for a few rounds of combat. Or one.

 

When legendary enemies who threaten sectors (and buffed stats to match) go down halfway through a surprise round.

This, this I have found to be literally ANY D20 based game. Also Happened to me in Necromunda, and D10.... player characters are evil.

 

 

If it has stats, they'll kill it and loot it. The iron rule of tabletop. ;)

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-When a horde of cultists runs up to the Kill Team and begs for the Emperor's Mercy so the devastator opens fire with his heavy bolter at point blank range

 

-When you kill a cultist and send his son to the Schola Progenium

 

-When the easiest way to destroy a Necron Tomb Citadel is to disable the force field protecting it from water pressure equivalent to the bottom of the Marianas Trench

 

-When you one shot genestealers but can't climb a wall

 

-When you're more worried about falling damage than you are about explosive damage inside an elevator at the top of a fortress

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 - When you consider riding against an approaching Chaos army by yourselves (on bikes, of course), since two Objectives are about protecting your Imperial Guard allies and it's easier to just charge an enemy.

 - When everyone without Unnatural Toughness and/or True Grit is considered a pushover at best. 

 - When legendary champion of Khorne, the greatest in all Jericho Reach, is considered a free exp since he's "just a guy, not Astarte. At least he's an Objective..." 
 - When your player expresses concern and hope that said champion won't be too easy, since his PA history gives him additional Renown for fighting epic enemies.

 - When being hit by the Lascannon is just inconvenience.
 - When being hit by 30 Heavy Bolters leaves you in good enough shape to kill said 30 Heavy Weapon Teams... alone.
 
 - When your players do not even consider taking any Anti-Horde Talents since "there is no Horde in entire Crusade that we can't kill anyway..."
 - When your players don't even take Metal Storm Rounds for this reason.
 - When your Kill-Team fights Daemons so often, it becomes a running gag that each time Astropath or any non-DW Psyker uses his powers, players immediately say unisono "Watch out, additional xp incoming! Come on, summon something big, with one more Objective we'll get another point of Renown..." 

 - When players consider all Daemons aside from Heralds, Greater Daemons and Daemon Princes as inconsequential at best and free xp at worst.

 - When Battle-Brother can throw grenade, kill 5 people, and than grenade explodes killing another 8 people.

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I can add to this

-When a 14 and a half tonne war machine is a possible player character, choosing to play as one however results in the GM shunting it into a background role as it's only purpose is to 'epicly' duel other 14 and a half tonne war machines for the sake of making the scene look dramatic, the player has no issue with this as it is epic

-When for some reason or another you end up horribly cocking over the story / GMs plans without really trying just because you where playing to character, such things include wrangling squiggoths and trampling ork hordes or flipping the bird to the ordo chronus when you get sucked several thousand years into the past and are told not to touch anything, of course you bloody touch things

-When you have a damage soak of over 50 and still get punched out for over half your hitpoints in a single attack

-When the librarian is, for some reason, carrying a portable artillery piece, their excuse being they can technically carry that much weight, the GM just goes along with it, because these players have already cocked over his plans enough already, might as well let them have their fun

oh my gosh I want to play a Blood Angels Librarian Dreadnought soooooo baaaaaadly. Even if it is a psyker mutant abomination. (YOU CAN'T MAKE ME LIKE PSYKERS AND MUTANTS! I DON'T CARE HOW SANCTIONED THEY ARE!  :P)

 

I should really refrain from posting when I'm this tired.

Edited by Servant of Dante

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I can add to this

-When a 14 and a half tonne war machine is a possible player character, choosing to play as one however results in the GM shunting it into a background role as it's only purpose is to 'epicly' duel other 14 and a half tonne war machines for the sake of making the scene look dramatic, the player has no issue with this as it is epic

-When for some reason or another you end up horribly cocking over the story / GMs plans without really trying just because you where playing to character, such things include wrangling squiggoths and trampling ork hordes or flipping the bird to the ordo chronus when you get sucked several thousand years into the past and are told not to touch anything, of course you bloody touch things

-When you have a damage soak of over 50 and still get punched out for over half your hitpoints in a single attack

-When the librarian is, for some reason, carrying a portable artillery piece, their excuse being they can technically carry that much weight, the GM just goes along with it, because these players have already cocked over his plans enough already, might as well let them have their fun

oh my gosh I want to play a Blood Angels Librarian Dreadnought soooooo baaaaaadly. Even if it is a psyker mutant abomination. (YOU CAN'T MAKE ME LIKE PSYKERS AND MUTANTS! I DON'T CARE HOW SANCTIONED THEY ARE!  :P)

 

I should really refrain from posting when I'm this tired.

 

 

Yeah I get that to (It's two past mdinight, I should be in bed right now) Still, how come onlyBangels can have psyker dreadnaughts? I for now will chalk it up to chapters not trading secret tech. Wich is a codex thing to make each chapter unique, but I can't be the only one who wants a DW razorback with supercharged Baal engines and frost weapons...

 

 

- When you want to ride a spacemarine bike, even tough you're already equiped with a jump pack, just because some Mantis Warrior character in some 40k novel-who's-title-you-have-forgotten did so to.

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When you're a blackshield wearing a full set of Mk2 armor that even the techmarines call "battlefield salvage."

 

When, right before you teleport, consoles start sparking and a tech adept's head explodes right after he says "We're all going to die!"

 

When you regain consciousness from said incident you find yourself to be suspended from the ceiling by chains and wearing only a loincloth.

 

The kneeling, chanting, (female) demon host in front of you stops chanting to shoot a bloodletter that just showed up and says "Stupid secondhand hexagramic ward dealers, I swear when I rule the reach I'll kill every last one of them. Now, where was I?"

 

Your first thought is "There are hexagramic ward dealers?"

 

You second and third are respectively, "That hasn't happened since I started pretending the deathwatch brainwashing was successful", and "I probably shouldn't be staring at her (the demon host's) ceramite bikini, probably."

Edited by Marcus102

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When you save a hive from daemonic incursion, then kill everyone in it because they may have been contaminated with knowledge of daemons, but that's k because the hive and it's manucaforites are still intact and the imperium can always ship in a couple billion peasants to get production back up.

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When the core rulebook tells you that your human character starts with 14,000 exp, and you know you're still outclassed by an Astartes with 1000 exp (if I burned fate I could maaaaaaybe one-shot one of them).

 

When your 10000xp Rogue Trader characters look at a Deathwatch Kill-Team, laugh once, then proceed to annihilate them in a single shooting phase.

 

When the same characters have better armor, better weapons, better overall skills, and command a fleet of ships easily able to blast your average Battle Company to atoms without breaking a sweat.

 

When your average Endeavour makes a larger impact to the life of billions across the Sector than an entire campaign of Deathwatch.

 

((Ok, I'll stop stroking Rogue Trader off even though it is, objectively, best system M41))

Edited by SCKoNi

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When the core rulebook tells you that your human character starts with 14,000 exp, and you know you're still outclassed by an Astartes with 1000 exp (if I burned fate I could maaaaaaybe one-shot one of them).

 

When your 10000xp Rogue Trader characters look at a Deathwatch Kill-Team, laugh once, then proceed to annihilate them in a single shooting phase.

 

When the same characters have better armor, better weapons, better overall skills, and command a fleet of ships easily able to blast your average Battle Company to atoms without breaking a sweat.

 

When your average Endeavour makes a larger impact to the life of billions across the Sector than an entire campaign of Deathwatch.

 

((Ok, I'll stop stroking Rogue Trader off even though it is, objectively, best system M41))

 

 

Even worse: Financial rating! :D

 

Marine: "Stop or I'll shoot!"

 

RT: "Stop or I'll buy your chapter and sell them to the admech to turn them into servitors!"

 

Marine: "Combat servitors?"

 

RT: "Septic-janitorial servitors!"

 

Marine: "Ok, you win."

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When the core rulebook tells you that your human character starts with 14,000 exp, and you know you're still outclassed by an Astartes with 1000 exp (if I burned fate I could maaaaaaybe one-shot one of them).

 

When your 10000xp Rogue Trader characters look at a Deathwatch Kill-Team, laugh once, then proceed to annihilate them in a single shooting phase.

 

When the same characters have better armor, better weapons, better overall skills, and command a fleet of ships easily able to blast your average Battle Company to atoms without breaking a sweat.

 

When your average Endeavour makes a larger impact to the life of billions across the Sector than an entire campaign of Deathwatch.

 

((Ok, I'll stop stroking Rogue Trader off even though it is, objectively, best system M41))

 

 

Even worse: Financial rating! :D

 

Marine: "Stop or I'll shoot!"

 

RT: "Stop or I'll buy your chapter and sell them to the admech to turn them into servitors!"

 

Marine: "Combat servitors?"

 

RT: "Septic-janitorial servitors!"

 

Marine: "Ok, you win."

 

Though, I don't know if the Adeptus Terra even has the authority to sell a Space Marine chapter *shrug*

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With enough money, the RT crew can just buy that authority honestly XD

But on a more serious note, there really that much of an imbalance between Space Marines and human PCs as you'd think. Beyond the stat boosts, Marines operate on the same rules as anyone else and in fact are severely limited in certain ways to what equipment they can take and their role on the battlefield. Human characters are much more adaptable, and don't tell me a Magos or Explorator is not just as if not more tanky than most marines, in addition to wielding more potent weaponry.

Sure, their bolters deal 4 more damage and have 1 more pen... who fragging cares when a meltagun will still slag any marine or when an autocannon or Krak missile is still going to ruin their day! Its a question of tactics, and marines are severly hampered there by their very nature.

Edited by SCKoNi

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Yeah I had a slaaneshi shipmaster in BC with a plasma pistol and a inferno pistol. (and a neelde pistol and a bolt pistol and  a las- ahem , you know what  I mean. He had a thing for pistol weapons. Guy was named "Lord Akimbo" after all.) Took down a wolf guard in terminator armor. (Then the rest of the 'wolves got a bit angry at him)

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With enough money, the RT crew can just buy that authority honestly XD

But on a more serious note, there really that much of an imbalance between Space Marines and human PCs as you'd think. Beyond the stat boosts, Marines operate on the same rules as anyone else and in fact are severely limited in certain ways to what equipment they can take and their role on the battlefield. Human characters are much more adaptable, and don't tell me a Magos or Explorator is not just as if not more tanky than most marines, in addition to wielding more potent weaponry.

Sure, their bolters deal 4 more damage and have 1 more pen... who fragging cares when a meltagun will still slag any marine or when an autocannon or Krak missile is still going to ruin their day! Its a question of tactics, and marines are severly hampered there by their very nature.

I think you mean their bolters deal 4 more damage and have 1 more pen than your heavy bolters.

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What... are you even on about? Check the actual stats first dude, spare yourself the embarrassment.

Tip: Check the spelling of words in your own signature first before making a post.

Edited by SCKoNi

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First, I could have sworn that I had fixed that. Second, a bolter deals 1d10+5 damage, an Astartes bolter deals 2d10+5 damage. I can't be absolutely sure but I looked it up recently and 2d10+1 from a rogue trader heavy bolter seems right. Of course I am using rogue trader and deathwatch stats here, pretty sure that they nerfed astartes gear in BC but this is a Deathwatch thread so we use it for the baseline.

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