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Brother Malachai

You Know You're Playing Deathwatch When...

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I decided to set up a sister thread to these  threads...

 

https://community.fantasyflightgames.com/topic/85704-you-know-youre-playing-rogue-trader-when/

 

https://community.fantasyflightgames.com/topic/40945-you-know-youre-playing-dark-heresy-when/

 

https://community.fantasyflightgames.com/topic/135822-you-know-youre-playing-only-war-when/

 

https://community.fantasyflightgames.com/topic/110113-you-know-youre-playing-black-crusade-when/

 

It's basically a thread about the wacky and nutty things that happens that let's you know you're playing a game of Deatwatch...

 

I will Start.

 

You know you're in Deathwatch when...

-The most "sensible" member of the Kill Team is the Space Wolf Tactical (Grey Hunter) Marine/ Wolf Priest.

-And yet the Kill Team leader is a Flesh Tearer w/ horrid Fellowship, and a high insanity and corruption score.

-Due to the insanity of the scenario/Team Make-up, said Space Wolf is forced into an "alliance" with the Inquisitorial Handler as they are the only two "reasonable" people in the entire Kill Team and both are constantly wary of Chaos Corruption. 

-Despite being "Xenos Hunters" you still have to constantly fight Chaos Marines and Demons to the point that you try to convince your higher-ups to get a Grey Knight assigned to your kill team.  Not because you can't pull it off, but because "it'd be less of a hassle" and "what part of 'XENOS HUNTERS' don't you Inquisitors understand!?" despite being forced to often fight said Chaos Marines and Demons.

-When you find out that a "pro-Xenos Rebellion" is a Chaos Front and/or of stories of Space Marines going "rogue" whose armor have fresh coats of paint, you  groan and sigh and go, "Oh, it's the Alpha Legion...again.  Welp, it's not xenos this time...again."

 

 

Note:  Edited for grammar and to add links.

Edited by Brother Malachai

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I can add to this
-When a 14 and a half tonne war machine is a possible player character, choosing to play as one however results in the GM shunting it into a background role as it's only purpose is to 'epicly' duel other 14 and a half tonne war machines for the sake of making the scene look dramatic, the player has no issue with this as it is epic
-When for some reason or another you end up horribly cocking over the story / GMs plans without really trying just because you where playing to character, such things include wrangling squiggoths and trampling ork hordes or flipping the bird to the ordo chronus when you get sucked several thousand years into the past and are told not to touch anything, of course you bloody touch things

-When you have a damage soak of over 50 and still get punched out for over half your hitpoints in a single attack

-When the librarian is, for some reason, carrying a portable artillery piece, their excuse being they can technically carry that much weight, the GM just goes along with it, because these players have already cocked over his plans enough already, might as well let them have their fun

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When the GMPC is less powerful than literally every other character

You haven't even heard of tyranids because tau are just so fun to fight

when the best melee fighter can almost kill a daemon prince in one round

You're still not as good as a Primaris Psyker from Dark Heresy Ascension

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When the phrase 'collateral damage' is stamped onto a template showing the distance from initial landing, in kilometers, your team is expected to effect. 

at least one killteam member sees this as a personal challenge. 

 

 

Yeah, we've had that.  A guy firing what was pretty much a hand-held tank cannon into a mob of marines fighting each other.  As well as myself throwing a frag grenade into a fight between a demon and an ally assault marine on the logic that "eh...the odds are the dice won't be high enough to damage him.  It's not Krak after all."  Both of which are signs you're playing Deathwatch.

 

Also:

-When you try to call for fire danger close from an allied ship in orbit instead of just buying the Lance Strike Requistion in "Rites of Battle."

-When working as part of a Ground Campaign you attempt to call in Fighter-Bombers instead of (again) buying the Requisition in "Rites of Battle."

-When one guy always tries to requisition one meltabomb, one vortex, and one stasis "just in case.

-When you attempt to stop an Ork Gargant by crashing your Thunderhawk into it's head and to fight your way to the Bridge...and succeed!

-When a Khorne Demon secretly stalks your Kill Team and "loves you" because you cause such a huge kill tally despite being loyalists to the Corpse Emporer.  Note I'm talking about Deathwatch and not Black Crusade.  -_-'

-You attempt to call for reinforcements/back-up in a heated situation despite being Adeptus Astartes because you're that deep in it.  And you only landed or ported about a minute ago in actual time and not game time.  -_-'  Despite the fact that you know the chances of actually getting help is slim-to-none. 

-And despite the fact that getting help is slim-to-none, it sometimes happens.

Edited by Brother Malachai

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The aforementioned librarian with an artillery piece is a Silver Skull, therefore justifies it with the phrase about resting behind the big guns

Being time traveled into the Horus Heresy is seen as a good thing because maybe we can fix our Flesh Tearer while we're there

Aforementioned Flesh Tearer rips Lorgar's head off like it's nothing after Lorgar was pummeled by two different primarch's for 7 rounds.

The artillery piece does more damage to an enemy dreadnought than the kill team's actual dreadnought

Players continually come up with reasons to be able to throw melta bombs simply because of how scary everything is

You tell the literal Chaos Gods to bugger off because you're trying to figure out which of the now apparently living primarchs is yours

Did I mention time travel?

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When a marine decides the best way to move forward is to meltabomb walls down rather then use the door, on your own space ship.

When you convince the GM walking across the hull is faster then walking inside your ship.

Finally when the team launches on a boarding torpedo into the foe's main ship but die as the ship is blasted to pieces as no one told their allies (or ship captain) what they were doing.

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-When you start to wonder if your Flesh Tearer Assault Marine is the reincarnation of Akuma due the insane number of melee attacks he can make in one turn and the amount of damage each attack makes.

 

 

Edited by Brother Malachai

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-When everyone is ready to kill the UM player for being such a stick in the mud

-When you land on the roof of the granite spire, clear the landing pad, and then land on the roof again when you comeback later just because you can - and then use it to authenticate your identity.

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-The party spends the better part of four hours fighting a champion bloodthirster possessed by it's god, burning fate points numbering in the 20s maybe thirties over all, loosing a massive number of friendly NPCs

...

Only for a level one dark heresy character who the inquisitor picked up on the way over to get the killing blow with a Las-pistol

Edited by Boxed Magic Man

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burning fate points numbering in the 20s maybe thirties over all

 

Jeez, that's a whole lot of fate points - do you run a party for a demi-company? :)

 

8 Players I believe overall, and a few NPCs with player stats and exp gains, just we where hearing the words 'Burning a fate to survive' constantly, I lost count after around 24ish burnt

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8 Players I believe overall, and a few NPCs with player stats and exp gains, just we where hearing the words 'Burning a fate to survive' constantly, I lost count after around 24ish burnt

 

Mate, I have only six, and I'm still struggling far too often to keep everybody involved, immersed and entertained. What's your secret?

 

Also, a 24-plus-fate-point-burn battle must have been epic. Know that I'm envious.

Edited by musungu

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8 Players I believe overall, and a few NPCs with player stats and exp gains, just we where hearing the words 'Burning a fate to survive' constantly, I lost count after around 24ish burnt

 

Mate, I have only six, and I'm still struggling far too often to keep everybody involved, immersed and entertained. What's your secret?

 

Also, a 24-plus-fate-point-burn battle must have been epic. Know that I'm envious.

 

(GM of that game) Be really good at pretending you have a plan and that everything is going according to such. Especially when it isn't. Also be really good at pretending to be good at anything :P.

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burning fate points numbering in the 20s maybe thirties over all

 

Jeez, that's a whole lot of fate points - do you run a party for a demi-company? :)

 

8 Players I believe overall, and a few NPCs with player stats and exp gains, just we where hearing the words 'Burning a fate to survive' constantly, I lost count after around 24ish burnt

 

 

Holy ****, how long have you been rolling dice for that? 2 days?

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Your shoulder pads are bigger and heavier than your helmet.

A gun can be just like yours but more effective because it is hundreds or thousands of years older.

You've ever engaged a tank with a big glove as your main weapon and won.

Your pistol is bigger, heavier and does more damage than an AK 47.

Your armor weighs more than a jeep.

You bring a sword to a gunfight and win.

You drop out of a spaceship over a battlefield wearing cybernetic power armor and a gravitic flight pack then engage the enemy with a chainsaw ax.

You believe your gun has a soul but the people you're fighting don't.

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8 Players I believe overall, and a few NPCs with player stats and exp gains, just we where hearing the words 'Burning a fate to survive' constantly, I lost count after around 24ish burnt

 

Mate, I have only six, and I'm still struggling far too often to keep everybody involved, immersed and entertained. What's your secret?

 

Also, a 24-plus-fate-point-burn battle must have been epic. Know that I'm envious.

 

 

 

He's not the GM.

 

Also...

-You Know You're Playing Deathwatch when a bunch of Khornate Demons invade the Imperial Palace and the Wolf Priest engages in a desperate gambit to attempt to get the enemy troops numbers diminished and to distract Khorne by calling him a hypocritical coward who hides behind his troops and refuses to tone down his powers to make the battle into an actual battle instead of a curbstomp.  Which backfires horribly and leads to the above battle.  But it's okay because everyone survives, the new guy is now near-ascenscion in DH standards, and everyone gains 2 fate (even though most of us still have less fate than when we started the battle with due to said burning) and 2K xp. 

-Also when said Wolf Priest Keeps yelling "YOU SHALL NOT PASSSS!!!!!" whenever his Wolf Amulet keeps deflecting blows from said Demon, who has now more or less, become an Avatar of Khorne and looks like a friggin' Balrog from LOTR.

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burning fate points numbering in the 20s maybe thirties over all

 

Jeez, that's a whole lot of fate points - do you run a party for a demi-company? :)

 

8 Players I believe overall, and a few NPCs with player stats and exp gains, just we where hearing the words 'Burning a fate to survive' constantly, I lost count after around 24ish burnt

 

 

Holy ****, how long have you been rolling dice for that? 2 days?

 

 

 

Sorry for double post, but yeah, that turned into an all-nighter.  About 5 hours or so.  That one battle by itself.  :P

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When the Flesh Tearers Devestator takes a beltfed M34 Autocannon with a Power Glaive attachment as his signature wargear. The Power Glaive attachment causes it to have the following profile in melee. 1d10+7 E, Pen 7, Tearing, Unbalanced, if used in an all out attack action it gains the Razor Sharp quality, if the wielder is frenzied it loses the Unbalanced quality.

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You know you're playing Deathwatch when...

 

... missions take about half the planned time, because the Dark Angel and the Space Wolf are trying to outshine eachother.

... the game master smiles brightly when he fetches his extensive Tyranid Gaunt army from Warhammer 40K and tells you "it's just for the first encounter".

... being shot to smithereens isn't automatically the end; there is always a Dreadnought sarcophagus waiting for a new occupant.

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When a literal army of enemies makes for a few rounds of combat. Or one.

 

When legendary enemies who threaten sectors (and buffed stats to match) go down halfway through a surprise round.

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 Hope that being a GM does not disqualify me from writing here... ;).


When dropping Frag Grenades at your feet is considered a proper tactic...
 
 When your Dark Angel successor spends more time trying to find out the truth behind their Blackshield Watch-Capitain than getting closer to his Battle-Brothers...

 When fighting an army that you could field on large 40k tabletop tournament is considered "doable"...

 When players can use their Squad Modes to achieve ridiculous offensive and defensive power...

 When making 8 attacks per round is possible...

 When 1 Marine can make 10 Reactions in 1 Turn...

 When 4 Marines can deal 300 damage in 1 Turn after Armor and TB reduction...

 When every mission starts with every Bolter-using Marine going unisono "I take magazine of Kraken rounds"...

 (if you have Jericho Reach suplement) When using your Chapter's philosophy you gain additional armor... 

 When your answer to "Why are you charging 30 Chaos Space Marines on your own?" is "We're Deathwatch, we can do this! Furious Assault!"...

 When you can't beat something, you do not even consider using artillery or calling reinforcements - if you can't kill it, nothing short of orbital bombardment can do this!

 When sending "standard" Space Marine squads to do your job is considered pointless, since "they're not Deathwatch, they're just gonna die".

When you use to say "1 per 1000 men is suited to being Space Marine, but only 1 per 1000 Marines can maybe serve in Deathwatch.
Maybe."


... and, most importantly - when, despite all above, your players can STILL die... which makes you think what kind of completely horrible odds are they sent against? 

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