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Care to share your funny/amusing SWRPG/EotE stories?

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Just started a new campaign, but already have a few good stories...

Firstly, two droids of the group are malfunctioning, the med droid wishes to be a gumball machine, but hides death sticks in his gumballs, and the r1 unit believes he is robot Jesus.

Our lom units wants to fix both of their malfunctions and is currently putting all of his xp into mechanics and computers to find a way to do so.

 

Near the beginning the party was stranded as their hyper drive malfunctioned and they landed to get it fixed. Entire party is currently broke, and cannot afford the hyper drive, so they plan to steal it. Our Wookie, not listening to the theif, walks into the shop, past the owner, and his assistant, and picks up the hyper drive. Only to turn around to have a gun in his face, and the assistant holding a thermal detonator. Rest of the team had to talk the owner out of shooting him, and the assistant put down the detonator. The thief then proceeds to steal the hyper drive from the shop as the rest of them talk their way out of the incident, only having to fight their way out eventually.

The group manages to reach their base on Endor, and find that the local Ewoks are fighting a Gundark. Our force sensitive Gand Trader uses his power, double light and a Triumph, and makes the beast scared, which then has the Gundark flee. The Ewoks then worship the  Gand, praising him as a noble warrior and asks for his guidance. They then give him their "fiercest" warrior to be trained, and he gives the Ewok to our Theif, because my girlfriend would not stop asking me for a Ewok pet.

Needless to say, the game is going great so far

Edited by BiggieD17

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We've been playing Jewel of Yavin, and the only way we could of stealing the jewel was, uh, bombing the museum in the middle of the gala. Sooo... one *small* gas explosion later and we didn't even get the gem! :(

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I play in a "Living Campaign" here in Austin and one of our recent scenarios involved convincing an already Rebel-friendly planet to remain that way. The mission involved talking to various ministers, undergoing some form of "test" and generally lots of talking. We had two tables of players each playing the same module.

We had NO social characters at our table...that was problem one

I am playing a Gand Pathfinder/Executioner (In training to become a Findsman) who prefers to spend his time with Animals and Droids because other sentients are A****les (HE has a particular dislike of animal abusers and killed an Impy Officer for as Much.). Gand of Gand (hence my nick name) has a Presence of 1 and zero social skills...but am still somehow the most personable characters in the party and had a abckground I put to use telling stories of the horrors of the Empire from first-hand knowledge...so who does most of the rolling for the talking? Funny part is he did exceptionally well on all of the tests...except one; the Survival test..which is the one are he is supposed to be exceptional...8D 

But it gets better...the last test we had involve talking to the Minister of Culture who asked us why we joined, then asked one of us to re-tell the story through an art form...so I volunteered. Now when I say Gang of Gand was an animal-lover I am under-stating it...he carries both Chem-lures and Beast Calls in his inventory (and has used the latter once before to stampede a herd of bovine-equivalents into an Impy chase crew that was after us.) so I combined the Lures and the Call to re-tell my story...through Interpretive dance as told by woodland-creature equivalents...needless to say it was a smashing success and the planet is still friendly to the Rebellion! 

Buuuut then we had to escape the planet under fire from petulant Impys (At least I like to think they were put out by my success) while most of us, including Gand, were in Y-wings we had recovered from a crashed Rebel Frigate (The original purpose of our visit). Despite having No Pilot; Space skill Gand acquitted himself very well and came out with the least amount of damage and a fair number of kills...now I just need to find a space-faring creature I can mount a combat-pod on and make it my friend...8D 

 

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I mean there's the time our multi-species group of former Jedi Younglings convinced an Imperial officer we were totally Imperial loyalists and then stole/rescued an entire Wookiee village.

(This is the same campaign that ended with one of the PCs attempting to convince some trainee Inquisitors they were part of an elaborate organ harvesting scheme. That roll ended up as 1 advantage only. So close...)

Other highlights of that campaign included a Nightbrother proposing to a PC in an attempt to oust one of the surviving Nightsisters from power, the fact the Wookiee was useless in combat, and the fact that we reduced our GM to tears multiple times for somehow cheating our way out of boss fights (after the droideka, it just went downhill from there...)

The current group I'm GMing had an amusing altercation where one of the PCs tried to gift the pet of another PC to an NPC, due to the fact it had already cause 2 major diplomatic incidents. That failed horrifically. 

Also, considering they're playing Imperials after Endor, one of the PCs has suddenly had the realisation that they might possibly be the baddies...

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I was running an EOTE game with 2 friends, testing out the mechanics for the first time.  One was playing a wookie, and they got jumped by some street thugs as a random crime encounter.  The wookie decided to just scare them off, so he did a wookie roar at them.  I had upgraded the check with a challenge die, and it came up with a despair.   So, I had the result be that he most definitely scared away the thugs with his wookie roar....as well as everyone else that had been watching the fight.  I then proceeded to describe the bystanders running away in terror of the "rabid wookie! here to kill us all!", as the entire city block emptied.  Of course...the scared people called the cops...and thus a 2nd minion group, tougher than the first, showed up to quell the savage beast running loose in the streets.   The player was amused, and role played a very entertaining "um....oops?" kind of reaction, before the cops starting beating the crap out of him with stun sticks.  It was a good laugh for all of us.

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I might have accidentally blew up Darth Vader with the Galaxy Gun once, as well as the two Jedi in our party... and yoda

The universe was set up with Vader having killed the Emperor and had taken Luke as his apprentice and instead of the death star 2, Vader went with the galaxy gun.

Ok i will preface this with i entered the group late and out of the 6 players they were all built around murderfaceing their enemies with a single guy that could actually do something useful like pilot.  The GM told me he was having to ignore so much of his game because none of his players could do much beyond pull triggers or swing sabers.  So being in love with role playing i went full on skill monkey.  I could slice, i could build, i could fix, i could talk... just everything the party couldnt do.  After a ton of games with me playing a glorified door opener and finally fixing the 900 things wrong with their ship we headed towards the end of the campaign which was the big Rebel assault on the galaxy gun reminiscent of the battle of endor.  Up to this point the rest of the part was just skimming by and even keeping kill counts but this time we had to actually seperate and do infiltration. 

The two Jedi were to lead a strike team with Yoda and uber rebel commandos against the Executor (which we didnt know about), and the rest of us were to infiltrate the Galaxy Gun. (sort of a try to take both heads off and even if one failed at least it was a crippling blow)

So it starts going surprisingly well overall, we manage to get onto both target ships.  But while the Jedi managed to get to their target our team was captured. a little GM handwavium had the galaxy gun commander want to question us so we ended up on the command deck (still wearing our imperial officers uniforms) and thats when the rebel alliance attacked.  The party started melee and taking blasters as soon as it happened and causing a general ruckus on the bridge (but they were pretty quick to make an escape), but that wasnt my cup of tea, and i figured if i was pretending to be an imperial sub commander i might as well press my luck, because what rebel scum wouldnt have taken the opportunity to escape with the rest of his worthless traitor friends. 

So as the Galaxy gun was ordered to fire on the rebel capital ships i made my way to the control station and with some good rolls and a friendly demeanor i helped the tech there to program the coordinates for the attack and with my computer skills he was grateful for the help because i made his job go super smooth in this high pressure situation... the only issue was instead of the rebel fleet i sliced in the coordinates to the Executor so when the fire order was given the Executor kinda evaporated.  I of course instantly blamed the poor sod and with more good rolls i was able to pass it off as his fault and even got him summarily executed for his obvious rebel ties.  Luckily the rebels swarmed the galaxy gun shortly afterwards and i didnt have to keep the facade up to long and just kind of had to mingle with the bridge crew.

The real kicker is i went from literally zero kills through out the whole adventure to like 140000+ (and the dark lord of the sith, and 2 jedi, and a commando squad, and the only Jedi master left in the galaxy)  In one fell swoop i ended the jedi and sith and put my kill counter to a point the "combat" group could never touch.  All with my trusty stun hold out blaster and massive focus on "doing stuff" instead of being cool :)

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Yes, I thought of one from our latest session.

We have a new character who was introduced to the group and she was brought on via a rescue mission.

The existing players have a dossier on the character and the one thing that jumped out was that she has an addiction to a pretty powerful drug.

Upon hearing the negative side effects, the group Medic and alcoholic, started reprimanding the new character about her "poor lifestyle choices."

The player (for the Medic) realized the irony half way through his first sentence and turned tone into a comedy bit.

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On 12/4/2015 at 11:35 AM, Jotnebane said:

The Dinner on the Rim crew is now heading towards Coruscant, now with proper fake IDs and everything. In order for their cunning plan to work they have parked their HWK-1000 on Gamor and are traveling the last leg on a passenger ship. Everything is going nice and easy, but after 2 days of Hyperspace travel an explosion destroys the hyperspace drive, damages the ion drive and blows a hole in the hull. All of this drops the ship from hyperspace and on a collision course with a planet.

 

Now, none of this is particularly funny, but as Jaster heads towards the bridge and Koobis toards the engine room Ihl, the host of the Dinner on the Rim, breaks out the camera drones and starts filming while he sitting in the bar drinking pan-galactic gargleblasters or whatnot. All this while people ar panicking around him. I suspect that the bartender droid will get a small segment in the next episode of Dinner on the Rim showcasing the droids ability to keep calm and keep the drinks coming while the passenger ship is experiencing some slight turbulence during an more or less uncontrolled reentry and finally crashing onto what seems to be an uninhabited planet. At least a planet with no radio signals or other signs of a technologically advanced civilization.

 

So stranded on a planet with only 5 days until an important meeting on Coruscant out heroes are planning a special episode of the show on big game hunting, outback BBQ, and ship rations. 

 

And why (apart from the GMs stated wish to play a shipwrecked on a deserted island scenario) did our heroes end up in such a situation? Well, several rolls of 0 successes and a shitload of advantages. I think the best non succeeding roll was 0 success/failure and 9 advantages. We tend to get quite a lot of such rolls, especially from the guy playing the shows host.

I really think you guys should start filming these sessions for YouTube. This is fantastic.

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I was running an adventure that had run 6-7 weeks and we're coming up on the final chapter.  The group had to face of with a Sith Lord and her apprentice.  I felt I had done pretty well throughout the adventure on providing challenging opponents form minions to rivals to nemesis. Through the some good planning, hacking, and use of the Force they tracked the two Sith to a control room and knew that one was in the middle of the room and the other was at a control panel along the wall, there were also some hostages along one side of the room.

There was two ways into the room and the players opted to do a two pronged attack and made a good roll for synchronizing the attack.  When the attack started we rolled initiative and both of my NPCs go dead last.  The PC's swarm in and, as planned, focus on the person in the center of the room.  This turned out to be the apprentice and he Parried and Reflected the first few shots but with 8 people all attacking him and all rolling remarkably well - seriously, I don't think there were more than 3 uncancelled threats among all of the attacks and 0 despairs - the apprentice fell before taking a  single action.

The Sith Lord turned and looked at the group, very upset.  All I as a GM could have her say was "Do you know how long it took me to train him?!?!"  before she let go with a lightning attack.

Luckily for me, and for the fun of the PCs the rest of the fight was very entertaining and challenging.

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I LOVE these kinds of threads!

 

My contribution is the tale of the hapless Clone Trooper PC. When I first joined the group this Clone was just recovering from having lost both his eyes and thus getting cybernetic implants... it hasn't improved for him from there.

After the next adventure we were ambushed trying to retrieve a package Cloney gets a fail/despair trying to shoot his sniper rifle so not only does he miss, he somehow trips and having taken several shots already at this point hits the pavement and knocks himself out from the minuscule wound damage. Couple adventures later he manages to lose both a leg and an arm in one combat and had to have them replaced, the same combat where he was nearly eaten by what I can only describe as a giant tentacle monster. Next adventure he proceeds to be eaten *again* by a giant underground Lampreylike worm thing we ran into in some caves trying to find an underground base on a planet. Cloney manages to make an athletic check to get out of the monster, but having taken several wounds already (he's basically the primary target for everybody and everything we come across) he gets spit out into the wall and gets knocked out from the impact causing wound damage. One of our other members who is frequently exasperated by the near constant haplessness of Cloney decides that the best thing to do is to kick Cloney in the face, to try to wake him up or just to vent her frustration with him I have no idea. She gets a fail/threat on the Brawl roll and falls over trying to kick him.

My character manages to revive Cloney and we finish the combat, continue down the cave and find what we were looking for, unfortunately. We found an old Separatist facility, and 4 Destroyer Droids roll out of meet us, our ragtag group of 4 half of which are still heavily wounded from the previous combat... and that's where we've left things off.

 

My own character has actually managed to go through most of these adventures almost completely unscathed... except the time the group decided to assassinate an Imperial Moff at an Imperial embassy and had to end the session in the middle of things. I couldn't play at the start of the session due to previous obligations so I had to jump in at the middle. Needless to say, this was an unfortunate occurrence because everybody forgot my character was still in the embassy, which they had decided to blow up to kill the Moff. My character manages to crawl out of the rubble intact and spends a few days in a nearby hospital fortunately, and they are very happy with their compatriots, very happy indeed...

Edited by immortalfrieza

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So In one of my sessions when I was GM. The players where a big fight with some bounty hunters. Well two of the party members who where force sensitive ended engaging with twin assassins, and of the players decided to pull their weapons out the assassins hands. Well he succeeds on the role. So he pulls their vibro knives out of their hands. They then drew their blasters, and he decided to do it again.  Now they have no weapons. After that "I'm like well ****. They have no weapons. I guess I will make them use their fist." Now for a little of context. I role like a god when it comes to this game. Like I've literally made roles where it was three red die, and one purple. Yet still pass. So you can see where this was going to lead. I ended up striking 3 crits in a row on  single player. Making him go down taking another critical wound. While also giving another critical to the other player. It took the other players to intervening to help them survive.

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2nd time running Escape from Mos Shuuta, with 3 players new to RPG's. Boy, did they cause problems, some through bad luck, but mainly through their unending stream of preposterous plans and bad ideas.

1st Fiasco: when scouting out the parts shop, hopefully to steal an important ship part, so that they can then fix and steal a certain pirate's ship, the droid medic meets said pirate. Pirate: "What are you doing here?" AK (Droid): "We are here to steal ship parts." Pirate: "And why would you do that?" AK: "So we can steal your ship." Needless to say, that particular encounter did not go smoothly.

2nd Fiasco: when investigating the mines where slaves were being kept, AK goes up to the Gamorrean captors. AK: "Slavery is wrong." Gamorrean: "Huh?!" AK: *pulls blaster and shoots the Gamorrean*  This led to a series of events in which the droid was knocked unconscious and the bounty hunter initiated an escape attempt for the slaves, in which he "accidentally" killed 30 Gamorreans and about 10 slaves. 

3rd Fiasco: after failing to convince the air traffic controller to release the docking clamps on the soon-to-be-stolen ship, AK resorted to violence, knocking out the ATC. Instead of then dealing with the security droids, he attempted to execute the ATC with his blaster. I flipped a dark side point to try to punish this behavior, and despair came up with several failure and disadvantage. AK shot himself, fell unconscious, and was captured. (Now that I think about it, this character was causing 90% of the problems for the group)

4th Fiasco: In the midst of stealing the ship, the smuggler of the group was in the engine room trying to fix the ship. However, the pirate captain had caught him in the act, so the smuggler closed the blast door to seal them both in (in hopes of allowing the rest of the group time to get onto the ship). He then shot at the captain (rolled Despair) and accidentally shot out the lights, leaving both combatants in pitch black. Each turn the captain attacked and missed, and the smuggler pressed random buttons (for some reason he didn't want to make Mechanics rolls). Rolling a 1 on his "luck" d20, he started powering up the hyperdrive. While the ship was in docking clamps. In an underground hangar.

5th Fiasco: After somehow surviving the previous situation (through a heaping of GM mercy from me), the group survived and got away with the ship. They got into a dogfight with TIE fighters and immediately got shot down due to lazy flying and poor shooting. As the ship was moments from crashing into the desert, I gave each character 1 round to do something that might save their life. The bounty hunter found a parachute, broke the cockpit glass, and jumped out of the ship. The smuggler couldn't find a parachute but jumped off anyway, and through 3 combined triumphs and 4 spent Light Side Points, the bounty hunter managed to catch him and they both lived. The droid, AK, however...locked himself in the ship's refrigerator. (We'd watched Kingdom of the Crystal Skull earlier). He died.

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23 hours ago, A_Verpine_named_Volk said:

2nd time running Escape from Mos Shuuta, with 3 players new to RPG's. Boy, did they cause problems, some through bad luck, but mainly through their unending stream of preposterous plans and bad ideas.

1st Fiasco: when scouting out the parts shop, hopefully to steal an important ship part, so that they can then fix and steal a certain pirate's ship, the droid medic meets said pirate. Pirate: "What are you doing here?" AK (Droid): "We are here to steal ship parts." Pirate: "And why would you do that?" AK: "So we can steal your ship." Needless to say, that particular encounter did not go smoothly.

2nd Fiasco: when investigating the mines where slaves were being kept, AK goes up to the Gamorrean captors. AK: "Slavery is wrong." Gamorrean: "Huh?!" AK: *pulls blaster and shoots the Gamorrean*  This led to a series of events in which the droid was knocked unconscious and the bounty hunter initiated an escape attempt for the slaves, in which he "accidentally" killed 30 Gamorreans and about 10 slaves. 

3rd Fiasco: after failing to convince the air traffic controller to release the docking clamps on the soon-to-be-stolen ship, AK resorted to violence, knocking out the ATC. Instead of then dealing with the security droids, he attempted to execute the ATC with his blaster. I flipped a dark side point to try to punish this behavior, and despair came up with several failure and disadvantage. AK shot himself, fell unconscious, and was captured. (Now that I think about it, this character was causing 90% of the problems for the group)

4th Fiasco: In the midst of stealing the ship, the smuggler of the group was in the engine room trying to fix the ship. However, the pirate captain had caught him in the act, so the smuggler closed the blast door to seal them both in (in hopes of allowing the rest of the group time to get onto the ship). He then shot at the captain (rolled Despair) and accidentally shot out the lights, leaving both combatants in pitch black. Each turn the captain attacked and missed, and the smuggler pressed random buttons (for some reason he didn't want to make Mechanics rolls). Rolling a 1 on his "luck" d20, he started powering up the hyperdrive. While the ship was in docking clamps. In an underground hangar.

5th Fiasco: After somehow surviving the previous situation (through a heaping of GM mercy from me), the group survived and got away with the ship. They got into a dogfight with TIE fighters and immediately got shot down due to lazy flying and poor shooting. As the ship was moments from crashing into the desert, I gave each character 1 round to do something that might save their life. The bounty hunter found a parachute, broke the cockpit glass, and jumped out of the ship. The smuggler couldn't find a parachute but jumped off anyway, and through 3 combined triumphs and 4 spent Light Side Points, the bounty hunter managed to catch him and they both lived. The droid, AK, however...locked himself in the ship's refrigerator. (We'd watched Kingdom of the Crystal Skull earlier). He died.

Not the brightest bulb in the batch, was he?

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I was relatively new to the game about a year a go. The party of friends and a brother only knew how the dice roll and a basic knowledge of star wars. I was running permilian haul and the three PCs had choose 2 Y-wings as starting resources. They were landing in the Tuanga station when I decided to show a example on how the dice work. I had the pilot roll a easy piloting check to land.

 

the two yellow dice, blank

the one green dice, blank

the pity blue dice, blank

the one purple, 1 failure and 1 threat

Immediately into the game the new PCs were 25,000 credits in debt due to repair to the hanger and landing studs. Luckily some amazing sabbac roles got enough to clear the debt and pay bond for the poor pilot. 

Edited by Samuel Richard

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