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IlluminatiSasquatch

Care to share your funny/amusing SWRPG/EotE stories?

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Here's one, played Edge for the first time, my first time with any rpg. Had to fix a ship. Problem is had no skills or talents or anything that would help me, I created a big dumb bruiser. I had enough setback and challenge die that when I was trying to fix my shields, I actually blew the dang thing up!

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Tasked with procuring a new chef and a dancer for their hutt boss our heroes walks into the restaurant which said chef was supposed to own. In order to increase the chances of getting a meeting with the chef the groups slicer had sent an anonymous tip to the restaurant about a famous food critic visiting Nar Shaddaa with descriptions matching the groups entrepreneur. The chef is not involved in the day to day running of the restaurant anymore as he works almost elusively for one of the local hutts, but the manager comes over to their table and they start embellishing on the food critic story and within a few minutes the food critic has become the host of a culinary food show called Dinner on the Rim

 

Within a week several episodes of the show has been filmed, made available on the planetary net and getting millions of viewers. They also get in touch with the chef, manage to get an invitation to the big annual party held at the hutts palace for a special edition of Dinner on the Rim and while not getting their hand on the chef they do manage to kidnap the hutts favorite dancer, stuff her into a specially prepared equipment case and roll her out of the palace right under the guards noses. 

 

The chef  is yet to be kidnapped, but our gang of heroes has a plan involving a cooking competition between the hutts chef and some of the best chefs in Imperial service. All taking place on Courusant and as another special edition of Dinner on the Rim,

 

Nothing shady is supposed to take place on Courusant ans the do not wish to attract any more of the Empires attention than necessary, but there are no guaranties that the chef will have an uneventful trip back to Nar Shaddaa.

 

So what was just a fake rumor to help them get in contact with the chef has become the the fake front for the whole operation and it will quite probably get used on later missions as well.

Edited by Jotnebane

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My youngest son expressed an interest to play 4-6 weeks in.. so he created a Bounty Hunter who's job was to 'keep an eye' on one of our NP(plot hook/carrot&stick/reason to do something if Obligation isn't rolled)C's.... first session opens fire on some stormtroopers for NO REASON this is BEFORE the B/H introduces himself to us in game... long story short it takes him FOUR SESSIONS to meet up with us at the docking bay on Tattoine...

 

SO.... 50K bounty put on his head,,, captured, looks like execution, we spend a Light Side point or 2 coming up with the plot hook,, er,, sorry, I mean ADDED OBLIGATION,,, that the Guild that sold him out rescues him *facepalm*

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Recently our crew decided to purchase a new astromech. The negotiation roll went south (despair), so they ended up with R2-F13. On their next mission, they call "Ralphie" to pick them up with the ship. Just as he gets there, he abruptly departs with the ship, leaving them stranded. Turns out Ralphie belongs to a pirate gang whose MO is to steal ships when the crew is away, taking them to add to the pirates fleet.

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In an unrelated story, said player was in one of my convention games playing a pregen. He attempeted a negotiation roll for fake ids. DOUBLE DESPAIR!! The shop owner trips the silent alarm, which alerts the local stormtroopers. I called a five minute break to assemble some stats. When the action resumes, the plyer unfortunately had to leave to attend to a minor emergency, leaving the rest of the table to clean up the mess...

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Playing Rescue at Glare Peak, Vaders shuttle was getting ready to land. Team is under heavy fir from TIEs in their own ship. The diplomat gets on the com and tries to command the TIEs to break off and escort vaders shuttle. DOUBLE TRIUMPH! It was the end of the time, so we ran with it.

"As your ship breaks atmo, you look back to the surface long enough to see Vader surrounded by officers, who suddenly grab their throats and drop to the deck, as Vader puts this palm to his face..."

How many crews can say they made Vader facepalm smh...

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Tasked with procuring a new chef and a dancer for their hutt boss our heroes walks into the restaurant which said chef was supposed to own. In order to increase the chances of getting a meeting with the chef the groups slicer had sent an anonymous tip to the restaurant about a famous food critic visiting Nar Shaddaa with descriptions matching the groups entrepreneur. The chef is not involved in the day to day running of the restaurant anymore as he works almost elusively for one of the local hutts, but the manager comes over to their table and they start embellishing on the food critic story and within a few minutes the food critic has become the host of a culinary food show called Dinner on the Rim

 

Within a week several episodes of the show has been filmed, made available on the planetary net and getting millions of viewers. They also get in touch with the chef, manage to get an invitation to the big annual party held at the hutts palace for a special edition of Dinner on the Rim and while not getting their hand on the chef they do manage to kidnap the hutts favorite dancer, stuff her into a specially prepared equipment case and roll her out of the palace right under the guards noses. 

 

The chef  is yet to be kidnapped, but our gang of heroes has a plan involving a cooking competition between the hutts chef and some of the best chefs in Imperial service. All taking place on Courusant and as another special edition of Dinner on the Rim,

 

Nothing shady is supposed to take place on Courusant ans the do not wish to attract any more of the Empires attention than necessary, but there are no guaranties that the chef will have an uneventful trip back to Nar Shaddaa.

 

So what was just a fake rumor to help them get in contact with the chef has become the the fake front for the whole operation and it will quite probably get used on later missions as well.

Funny thought, if they were to get caught, wouldn't they end up on the cover of the tabloids? "Breaking news, reality show cast arrested for chef smuggling"

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First session our big bruiser Trandoshan type ripped his way out of a jail cell from the inside. Then he tried to free another PC but failed the same Brawn check, so we explained it by saying the architects had cut corners to save money and the cells down his end of the block were poorly built versus the ones at her end. 

Ex Jedi in current arc is a Jethro Tull espy, plays the flute and hits on all the ladies. A Padawan friend of his from back when shows up intending to kill him and during that time he charms her and she is less lethal because of it. 

 

Humanitarian ex weapons designer who wants to make up for his dark past just "accidentally" murdered a bunch of people with an explosion. He still claims to be humanitarian. 

Trandy from above once won a fight by picking up a small hover skiff and smashing it into his foes. He also deactivated a bomb by punching it, then reactivated it by throwing a Sullustan at it and walking away from the explosion unscathed. He is the group's favorite person.

 

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My players were a bit better at infiltrating than combat. At one point they had a bounty hunter after them, something about being rebels or nonsense like that. It completely wasnt their fault that that sector rebelled.

 

So they managed to fight this bounty hunters crew to a draw, but left each sides ship a bit beat up. Their Ghtroc was an easy fix, but the hunters custom Surronian Conqueror needed a high quality yard. So the players track the bounty hunter to Sluis Van and find his fancy ship in a out of the way private repair bay. They sneak into the bay, and instead of just hijacking the ship, they shoot a couple of the local guards, dressed like the bounty hunters crew, then steal the ship. On the way out the shoot up a couple TIEs and make it a point to say that they were the bounty hunter. The hunter had a good alibi, so he didnt get too inconvienenced that time.

 

He did follow the party back the space station they liked to visit and put a bomb on their Ghtroc tho. Not a big bomb, just a little one to melt down the reactor and burn up the interior of the ship. He also made sure to stop by when the ship was on fire to give his condolences.

 

After a bit more back and forth, and a bounty hunter who just would not give up, The Players had to get an ally out of imperial custody before she could be interrogated. It just so happened that the players knew where the bounty hunter was, and that he didnt have an alibi. So they dressed up like him, in his custom battle armor, and use his rep with the impys to get an interview with the prisoner. Lots of triumphs on deception and charm checks later and they are breaking the ally out. This time they didnt do any half measures. They made sure they mentioned the bounty hunters name as often as possible, 'accidently' mentioned where they were going to lay low, which was where they knew the bounty hunter would be, and even had stolen a ship of the same model to make their getaway in.

 

They did keep the Conqueror too. It was a nice ship when you had to make a good impression.

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Oh, there are so many.

That time when we were going after Teemo because he just wouldn’t leave us alone, and so we meet Pash and Lowhhrick in the dungeon after we break in. One of the PCs does a good job of convincing Pash that we need to rush out the door into the arena so that we can do our part to attack Teemo from below while the other PCs attach from above, but Lowhhrick isn’t so easy to convince.

The PCs above ground are moving into place, when Pash leaps through the door — but the other two stay behind for a second. They stay there just long enough to see dozens and dozens of blaster bolts fired into the arena, and there’s not even a pink stain left where Pash was standing. They quickly close the door with a big bag of “NOPE!” and then go on to smoke some … recreational pharmaceuticals … while the rest of the party goes in for the final frontal assault.

Or when the rest of us were going in for the frontal assault on Teemo, only to have the Duros Driver ninja his way past us (and Teemo), with a droid power core in his hands. He sets up the power core to overload, and then dives out of the way. We just barely get out of range in time when there is a bright flash, but no sound. We wake up a little while later, to see a still smoking nice spherical hole burned in the palace where Teemo had been lounging. And now there is a new doorway to the outside, where none had been there before.

Who knew that a droid power core was like a small nuclear device that could be detonated that way?

Of course, one of the other PCs managed to steal the paperwork for the palace, so he was legally the owner, and could attempt to profit from the sale. Which would draw way too much attention from Uncle Jabba, so he never could manage to squeeze a single red credit out of the deal.

And I haven’t even gotten started yet….

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Tasked with procuring a new chef and a dancer for their hutt boss our heroes walks into the restaurant which said chef was supposed to own. In order to increase the chances of getting a meeting with the chef the groups slicer had sent an anonymous tip to the restaurant about a famous food critic visiting Nar Shaddaa with descriptions matching the groups entrepreneur. The chef is not involved in the day to day running of the restaurant anymore as he works almost elusively for one of the local hutts, but the manager comes over to their table and they start embellishing on the food critic story and within a few minutes the food critic has become the host of a culinary food show called Dinner on the Rim

 

Within a week several episodes of the show has been filmed, made available on the planetary net and getting millions of viewers. They also get in touch with the chef, manage to get an invitation to the big annual party held at the hutts palace for a special edition of Dinner on the Rim and while not getting their hand on the chef they do manage to kidnap the hutts favorite dancer, stuff her into a specially prepared equipment case and roll her out of the palace right under the guards noses. 

 

The chef  is yet to be kidnapped, but our gang of heroes has a plan involving a cooking competition between the hutts chef and some of the best chefs in Imperial service. All taking place on Courusant and as another special edition of Dinner on the Rim,

 

Nothing shady is supposed to take place on Courusant ans the do not wish to attract any more of the Empires attention than necessary, but there are no guaranties that the chef will have an uneventful trip back to Nar Shaddaa.

 

So what was just a fake rumor to help them get in contact with the chef has become the the fake front for the whole operation and it will quite probably get used on later missions as well.

Funny thought, if they were to get caught, wouldn't they end up on the cover of the tabloids? "Breaking news, reality show cast arrested for chef smuggling"

 

We have some worries that Dinner on the Rim will backfire on us rather badly. At one point someone might connect the dots. The Nar Shadaa pilot episode and follow-ups coincided with the disappearance of two of the Hutt crime boss' favorite dancers. The Cristophsis episode (Dinner on the Rim, Fast Food Edition) coincided with a local drug syndicate losing several shipments and two of their ships to shipjacking. The upcoming Coruscant episode - Dinner on the Rim: Rim vs Core episode will hopefully go off uneventfully (yeah, right) but be followed by the disappearance of the same Hutt crime boss' favorite chef. At some point an enterprising law enforcement official or bounty hunter might take a special interest in everyone's new hot cooking show. Koobis the cameratech (and surveillance!) guy and Ihl Kuun, the Face of Dinner on the Rim (under an assumed name and appearance) might be worried, but getaway driver/pilot and comic relief co-host Jaster, hidden behind his less impressive hick mustache disguise, is convinced everything will work out for the best.

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We have some worries that Dinner on the Rim will backfire on us rather badly. At one point someone might connect the dots. The Nar Shadaa pilot episode and follow-ups coincided with the disappearance of two of the Hutt crime boss' favorite dancers. The Cristophsis episode (Dinner on the Rim, Fast Food Edition) coincided with a local drug syndicate losing several shipments and two of their ships to shipjacking. The upcoming Coruscant episode - Dinner on the Rim: Rim vs Core episode will hopefully go off uneventfully (yeah, right) but be followed by the disappearance of the same Hutt crime boss' favorite chef. At some point an enterprising law enforcement official or bounty hunter might take a special interest in everyone's new hot cooking show. Koobis the cameratech (and surveillance!) guy and Ihl Kuun, the Face of Dinner on the Rim (under an assumed name and appearance) might be worried, but getaway driver/pilot and comic relief co-host Jaster, hidden behind his less impressive hick mustache disguise, is convinced everything will work out for the best.

 

Jaster, "the hick with the stick", might be a bit more worried if he were bright enough to think about the fact that he's flying around in a highly modified HWK-1000 and that this ship also has left a trail of paperwork at the exact same planets at the exact same times. It's not like HWK-1000s are a dime a dozen in the Outer Rim. 

Edited by Jotnebane

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I have stories from all 4 of my groups. I am running my own beginning campaign for them all but their choices have made the story diverge for each group.

 

Group 1: Previously a B-1 Battle Droid from the Clone Wars before being ordered decommissioned, "Stella" escaped. After a stint as a dancer (complete with a different droid body), "Stella" became a Pilot. Currently he prefers to Charm others to doing what he wants by dancing, which got him into a bit of a predicament. Due to attempting a charming dance, he has now attracted the affection of a Gamorrean Guard, working for the same Hutt that the group works for.

 

Here's another story from the same group: After encountering a religious extremist, the group convinced him they were interested in his cause (having "Stella" around helped, as the man worships droids). He gifted them a frag grenade but none of them know it is fake.

 

Group 2: Jeemko, a peculiar Jawa, has taken a liking to slyly conning bartenders into giving him free drinks. Jeemko is small, so he gets half a drink every time he orders. He ended up getting a bit tipsy to say the least, early on in the adventure, drinking the equivalent of 1 beer.

 

Group 3: Not really a funny story but it might build into one: A PC claims his motivation is Justice but has shown himself to be quite bloodthirsty; I plan to mess with him in some ways on our next session.

 

Oh here's one: We have a changeling that absolutely fails to succeed in convincing people of anything in conversation.

 

Group 4: In an attempt to distract a female Twi'lek shop owner while their partner snuck further into the shop to do investigate, a Chiss and Dashade decided to erm... well... they did that thing that Will Ferrell and Chris Kattan do in Night at the Roxbury when they dance around women.

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My groups in the past have all got their own specific little stories and inside jokes we've collected over the past few years. 

 

In one campaign I ran, the group was chilling in an Onderon cantina when one of the more cocky players wanted to use his recon remote to explore, while in the presence of a storm trooper patrol that walked in. They shot down the remote and demanded to know whose it was, and one of our players just exclaimed "It was the Quarren!" There was a quarren I had just sitting in the cantina, minding his own business, and these stormtroopers, being alien unfriendly as they are, decided to take him away despite his protests of innocence. My PCs were laughing for five minutes straight and whenever ran into trouble would always say it was the quarren, of course that was the only time it ever worked.

 

In the next campaign we did, I was playing a rodian fringer and different person was GMing, and we needed to stop an assassin that was making a speeder getaway on Coruscant. In our own speeder we had a gunslinger and a heavy while I was driving shooting at this assailant with some pretty high powered shots. After the gunslinger got off a shot during the chase, the GM said, "Alright, nice shot in the chaos, this guy is on his last leg". Then the heavy shot a blaster rifle straight into the assassin's back. We all thought he would be dead, considering it was a great shot and he was "on his last leg". But he wasn't, the assassin continued to run and got another shot off of us. It wasn't until the gunslinger shot again the assassin fell. We all tried to do the math in our heads to figure out how a 10 damage shot wasn't enough to kill a guy on his last legs, we all thought it was hilarious and ever since have said "he's on his last leg" just to mess with that specific player, but it's all in good fun. (For instance in the next campaign I ran I would say a guy "was on his last leg" while looking at that player and he'll say stuff like "Ok guys, I get it". The best part is he still hasn't explained why it happened. Pretty sure he got revenge later in the scenario, as the streets started to get bombed and an inquisitor showed up. Good times)

 

It's all about the inside jokes in my groups.

Edited by HernerJade

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In the beginner game,The PC's where visiting the gun store and the Garmians where out side the door.Vex had a great idea to roll a stun grenade to the door but failed his roll.hitting the side of the counter and bouncing back towards him.lowrick and pash jumped for cover but vex fail a second role and stunned himself .

In the Krate Fang the PC's failed to get the docking clamps released so after dealing with the security droids and Trexx, Lowrick climbed down into the gunner seat and proceeded to blow away the storm troopers that where closing in on them.Un willing to back down,A pair of Tie fighters slowed and hovered over the landing bay and proceeded to fire on the krate fang.Lowrick took it upon himself to blow the landing gear and clamps off the krate fang allowing pash a difficult piloting check to get he ship out of there, battling ties all the way out of the atmosphere.un orthodox tactic but hey that's the beauty of the game.

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The party was following a lead on a bounty. They had already invested a significant amount of their dwindling cash into this endeavour. They landed on a backwater world and hit up the local saloon. The saloon has a warning sign on the front door that anyone drawing a weapon will be shot immediately with no further warnings.

 

It just so happens that the bartender thinks that one of the patrons may know something. This guy is a professional card player that is trying to lay low on the moment and so is making a circuit on fringe worlds. The bounty hunter player (Oskara from the beginner set) approached the gambler during a game and asks for information. The gambler tells her that he's in the middle of a game.

 

Now they're used to killing time in a bar with a few drinks (I'm pretty sure everyone except the droid regularly gets hammered) but she decides that she just can't wait a few minutes for the game to finish, so she sweeps all the cards and chips off the table. The other players (who were all losing) cry foul and use this as an opportunity to take their money back and scratch that game. So now the guy won't talk until they reimburse him for the lost money. Oskara pulls a blaster to threaten the information out of him and promptly gets shot by the bartender and bouncers.

The party steps in, smooths things over, gives her a stimpack, and we're back on track. So they have to pony up more cash now. Then he says he doesn't want to just take it, he wants to win it, so she agrees to play, only to go all in on the second hand. Not a bad strategy since she won't outplay him but unlike Skeeve luck is not on her side so she loses. No big deal, though, they've met his conditions. All they have to do is get the information from him.

Nope. Oskara decides that she needs to seduce him. That isn't hard so next thing we know she is following him up to his room. Unfortunately she forgets that part of being a card player is being able to read other people and tell when they're bluffing. Combine that with the fact that she already pulled a blaster on him and it turns out that he's ready when she tries to stun him. Much like Han, he shoots first and Oskara goes down. The others (who already knew this was a bad idea) have to step in again to save her.

 

Now that she's unconscious, the other characters are able to talk to him (maybe with the implied threat of the Wookiee ripping his arms off) and they finally get the tip that they could have had with just a few minutes of patience.

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This was in a published adventure so I won't give away details. The PC's were using a hover vehicle to race over to the platform that their ship was on where a group of rodians were trying to break in - all of which was happening against the backdrop of a much larger combat scene.

 

As the PC's vehicle rounded the intervening terrain and came into view of the platform, they saw a team of rodians alongside their ship. The vehicle pilot wanted to cut the repulsors as he flew over the platform to skid into and, perhaps, knock the rodians over but the dice said otherwise. He ended up sliding the vehicle sideways over the platform and above the rodians... then cut out the repulsors. Thus was born the Rodian Slide.

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The Dinner on the Rim crew is now heading towards Coruscant, now with proper fake IDs and everything. In order for their cunning plan to work they have parked their HWK-1000 on Gamor and are traveling the last leg on a passenger ship. Everything is going nice and easy, but after 2 days of Hyperspace travel an explosion destroys the hyperspace drive, damages the ion drive and blows a hole in the hull. All of this drops the ship from hyperspace and on a collision course with a planet.

 

Now, none of this is particularly funny, but as Jaster heads towards the bridge and Koobis toards the engine room Ihl, the host of the Dinner on the Rim, breaks out the camera drones and starts filming while he sitting in the bar drinking pan-galactic gargleblasters or whatnot. All this while people ar panicking around him. I suspect that the bartender droid will get a small segment in the next episode of Dinner on the Rim showcasing the droids ability to keep calm and keep the drinks coming while the passenger ship is experiencing some slight turbulence during an more or less uncontrolled reentry and finally crashing onto what seems to be an uninhabited planet. At least a planet with no radio signals or other signs of a technologically advanced civilization.

 

So stranded on a planet with only 5 days until an important meeting on Coruscant out heroes are planning a special episode of the show on big game hunting, outback BBQ, and ship rations. 

 

And why (apart from the GMs stated wish to play a shipwrecked on a deserted island scenario) did our heroes end up in such a situation? Well, several rolls of 0 successes and a shitload of advantages. I think the best non succeeding roll was 0 success/failure and 9 advantages. We tend to get quite a lot of such rolls, especially from the guy playing the shows host.

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Our very annoying Drall Scholar/Performer became a dime novelist that is apparently well loved by an annoying amount of the patrons we meet. These include:

  • A lower levels infomerchant Hutt on Nar Shaddaa with a 3 meter tall golden statue of "The Great J.W., The Most Interesting Drall In The Galaxy" in his office,
  • The bored Moff's wife (think blond bimbo trophy wife) who decided to leave the Moff by running off to go adventuring on our ship (she called my character, the ship's pilot/mechanic, "Man with dirty clothes" all the time). Meeting the Inquisitor (and running away) after that trip was so much fun,
  • I'm sure there must have been more.

He's put out eight of those disgusting and dismayingly well selling novels wherein he takes credit for all the success of each of our thinly veiled adventures while painting the rest of us in the worst light possible.

 

Here's the way my character is described in the series:
Steak - Damsel in Distress and generally clueless, JW's pet.  Always lands ships upside down.  JW doesn't know why he keeps letting him try.  Has a ridiculous tattoo on his forehead.  JW has determined Steak thought that chicks dig third eyebrows and sadly realized, not so much.  Despite JW's generous attempts to help Steak, the human has pretty awful luck with women.

 

Oh yeah - He started a charity obstensibly to help the "mentally deficient" denizens of my character's outer rim home planet. I think he uses the donations for beer money. :angry:

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Gm brought this big bad Inquisitor to the game all evil and stuff a scary guy but alas the man didn't think I would use the silhouette 2 chandelier above him as a weapon. Brought it down on him took his light saber and confounded the GM because he never thought my character would openly use force powers in a gala filled with people. Good news is I have his lightsaber and he's been humbled from threatening my character and friends with death I never made sure he was dead but we were in a hurry to get out.

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Not EotE, but...

I showed up to a game after a very long and grueling day at work. As I was walking to my seat I stopped and kissed one of my fellow gamers on the lips. It was a rather large group, but only a couple people caught it. I couldn't then and can't now explain why I did it, other than to say I was REALLY exhausted.

That was almost twenty years ago, back when people could take odd occurrences in stride.

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