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Joeker

Your campaigns running jokes.

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Your campaigns running jokes. 

Mine is after the players defeated the Chaos tainted solidarity and destroyed part of a warehouse containing 20 years worth of rotting and spoiled food and possibly chaos tainted "Novabella's "Emperor's Finest" ration bars" the players forgot to check to make sure all the suspect food was destroyed. Now wherever they go and what ever they do they encounter the "Emperor's Finest" maybe causing trouble. From Desoleum rations factories shutting down (and hereteks preying on the unemployed workers)  to entire legions of Astra Militara being supplied with "Emperor's Finest" and disappearing  

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The PC's in my game seem to keep forgetting that their NPC astropath is blind.  One of the first things they asked her was what their predecessors all looked like.  At first it was because the players were forgetting; now they occasionally do it on purpose just to be funny.

Edited by Vorzakk

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Everything is ploins.

 

Bar scenes have patrons drinking liquor distilled from ploins. Smuggling operations ship their product disguised as canned ploin fillets. Visited nobles will offer the party fine ploin canapés. More primitive peoples fashion tools and clothing from ploin parts, letting nothing go to waste.  This has bled into other games we play.

 

Nobody's quite sure what a ploin is.

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In Black Crusade, anytime my PCs meet a Magos they roll to seduce - just because they love saying "Hey there, big boy... Nice tubes you got there!".

If they think she might have been a woman, it's "Salut beauté... T'as d'beaux tubes tu sais!". The fact that they still haven't met a single Magos with enough flesh left to still be vulnerable to seduction doesn't seem to be an issue to them. Maybe they think I'll give them some Infamy for the most ridiculously affected accent?

In Only War, houserule: all DKoK guardsmen must speak German at the table as much as possible.

In Dark Heresy, our Inquisitorial stromtroopers used to only speak French, "for good luck". The number of good tactical decisions taken because of misunderstandings seems to have proven them right...

 

I used to have a player who would always play mutants with two scimitars. His battlecry? TZZIRD! I can't believe it took me two months to realise it wasn't based on the sound of a powersword turning on :blink:

 

But language jokes aside, here's my personal favourite: anything fun, violent and somewhat insane is "shiny". Blame Whedon, I certainly do :P

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My Assassin in DH1e was named Thx 1138, we used the random character/origin chart. We all ended up being all fighter types, 2 guardsman, an Arbetaur, Sister of battle (battle specialized),  and Assassin, who was the only one who could get medicae. The phrase "He's wounded! Quick get him to the Assassin!" became a running gag. 

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In our Only War campaign, one player kept his character's true backstory a secret, instead telling everyone vague hints about a disaster involving sweet rolls. That led to everyone (with the player's character being the worst offender) always searching for sweet rolls wherever they were stationed. 

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In DH1, our Scum tried to infiltrate a pirate ship to try and save my character who had been abducted by them. He'd managed to curry favor with them and had successfully joined the crew. Accidentally slightly annoyed the Captain who sentenced him to ten lashes since it was only his first day on the job.

 

Scum's player stated that his Scum would stoically endure the lashes without even flinching to show off his grit. GM told him to take a Toughness test to see how well he could do that.

 

He rolled a 100.

 

The GM didn't actually want to seriously screw the guy over, but he announced that the Scum was brave up until the first lash at which point he shrieked like a girl for the entire duration. The pirates at that point ceased calling him by his proper name and he was henceforth known as "Sally". We have refused to refer to his character by his actual name ever since.

Edited by ColArana

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In DH1, our Scum tried to infiltrate a pirate ship to try and save my character who had been abducted by them. He'd managed to curry favor with them and had successfully joined the crew. Accidentally slightly annoyed the Captain who sentenced him to ten lashes since it was only his first day on the job.

 

Scum's player stated that his Scum would stoically endure the lashes without even flinching to show off his grit. GM told him to take a Toughness test to see how well he could do that.

 

He rolled a 100.

 

The GM didn't actually want to seriously screw the guy over, but he announced that the Scum was brave up until the first lash at which point he shrieked like a girl for the entire duration. The pirates at that point ceased calling him by his proper name and he was henceforth known as "Sally". We have refused to refer to his character by his actual name ever since.

 

 

Hahaha, that's amazing! Thank you for the laugh, I needed it!

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After asking my players what they thought happened to a former member of the team who disappeared, the terrifying, and totally real disease, space AIDS, is now an acceptable explanation for any death.

 

I once had a servitor aid the party, who was most well known for the noise he made, a soft "ahhhhh" sound that I had a lot of fun doing (I would just sit there going "ahhhh" for a good minute whenever anyone tried to converse with the servitor). Ever since then any mention of a servitor would have the whole group whispering "ahhhh". 

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One player's rampant paranoia has permeated the group, and every time something even remotely out of regulations happens, they all suspect a Commissar to crawl out of a nearby air vent/tree stump/floor grate.

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The gallow solution - a now common term in our group for screwing up whatever I (the GM) has planned for the group.

 

It originated from an adventure with the goal to break out a crucial informant from an arbites camp. While preparing the mission they obtained 3 super detailed maps from the interiors. To add some pressure the informant should be hanged publicly in front of the camp to set an example in three days. Of course players are smart and I did not thought about it, as in my head it was obvious that if I went through all the work of crafting these maps that the main plot should take place inside the camp. With some really important plot twists. But as you now likely can imagine, my players simply wanted to crash the execution and free the informant in front of the camp...shooting him from the gallow so to say.

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I have a player in my campaign who is very roleplay-shy, so he plays a stoic and sometimes quite short-sighted arbites. In the first session he wanted to talk to some people to get info about the surrounding areas and i had him meet a street merchant who bombarded him with such a torrent of words that he just ... stopped working. Since then we always tease him that street merchant are his worst enemy.

Then there's also "Is he conveniently covered in chaos symbols?" and "I check that quaky shrubbery with an explorative fireball"

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In one of our first jobs, one of our fellow acolytes stumbled across what appeared to be a secret cache in the back of an auto carriage.  In roughly handling a sealed lockbox, she accidentally broke a glass swan.  We subsequently learned that this artwork cache belonged to the inquisitor, part of the large network of materials being moved around on a regular basis.  We have been using "glass swan" - "already broken" as a challenge-response phrase.

 

That same character, later, in our hotel suite, used the word "Inquisition".  The inquisitor gave her a cross look and executed our crew of five hired servants (intended as part of a highborn cover) with a precisely controlled series of shots.  A similar slip of the tongue necessitated the execution of an artisan we had brought in to council on the nature of some potentially heretical statuaries.  We have since adopted the term "Morella-ing it up" in honor of Acolyte Morella.

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We do have a couple other running jokes.

 

Occasionally, our techpriest is called out for doing something a bit shady.  Fiddling with a mechanism that probably isn't his job, or just being out of place (such are the needs of the inquisition).  Whenever the denizens of whatever doomed world we are visiting come by to ask, he simply says something utterly preposterous.  To answer their ensuing incredulousness, he informs that this is "Techpriest humor".  Each time, they chuckle awkwardly before his inscrutable metallic visage.

 

My personal joke is adherence to rules and standards.  On occasion, my character will lose a day reorganizing our on-world armory, or become insistent that I must return to our quarters once every six hours for prayer.

 

One of our characters is a retired IG general with a history of hunting Xenos.  He has a taxidermied Carnifex with an internal compartment that contains a humidor, fine amasec, and a servitor bartender.  He also has a small dog name Lieutenant Lightningpaw.  He had to requisition a moving company during a cultist uprising so that his trophies could be taken to safety.

 

Oh, and our inquisitor is named Samuel Johnson, and is quite simply a black-sploitation action hero.

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Well, in the very first meeting of the PCs, the Tech-Priest introduced himself as Felthus Bendak; the ganger chick with a chainsword immediately said "Filthy?  Well, at least you're honest..." Needless to say, the nickname has stuck for eight months now, and everyone uses it.  Filthy Bendak is a valued member of the team regardless of being left dirty underwear in someone's will.  

 

Him and the ganger get along swimmingly, such as the time he was chucking grenades down the hallway she was in!  The scatter dropped it right at her feet, which she narrowly evaded.  This happened again, and again.  The ganger was not satisfied with it, and dyed Filthy's robes pink.  His response was to pull the pin on a grenade, shout 'CATCH!' and toss it to her.  It was a dud.  She's found a dozen dud grenades in her rooms, among her possessions, etc.  

 

There's also the bounty-hunter of the group.  On the side he's been hunting bounties to get in with the local underworld.  He's known to walk up with both of his weapons on his person and ask his targets if they want to do this the fun way (Webber) or the funner way (Melta).  He's sad that the easy way (them giving up) has become the norm.

 

Sadly our unsanctioned psyker died (and not because of anything they did!).  She was a big fan of drugs.  As in, she had an injector crossbow she loaded with Obscura (as Obscura's in-combat effect is Hallucination chart).  She always ended up with the people thinking they were invisible.  She tagged Ferrue Fayne in the final fight of the Desolation of the Dead, for example, and he ran around giggling until he passed out from blood-loss when he lost his arm.  

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In several of the campaigns I have run including my current one, minor street gang encounters have been more deadly and dangerous to the party than boss fights. Deamonhost no problem, Psychic Cult leader with six mutants on each side over in two rounds, Attached by squad of near invisible assassin servitors no one wounded, Three battle servitors open up on a player with heavy stubbers no damage. Street thugs who don't know who to use the guns they are carrying nearly loose two characters, Ambush a bunch of fake cops near tpk one player burning a fate point to stay alive, attacked by chaos rats nearly loose a player. The players have begun to say "We're screwed if he takes us up against girl scouts with sticks" and "Oh thank god! It's not girl scouts with sticks" before combats. 

Edited by Joeker

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Not really running jokes but...

During a Only war Campaign we encountered a Imperial knight, after climbing up it's back my character ( A commissar with a power sword) and a Heavy gunner with a melta, managed to get into the Cot-pit, and proceeded to beat and stab the pilot to death. The funny part is where The heavy gunner was wearing a processed sock puppet, that was on fire, and screaming.

 

During a fight in a small crampt apartment, in dark heresy second addition. My priest ( well the character I made to be a priest) was woken up when two men burst open the door and started shooting. After setting the room on fire, my character dove into the on-suit "bathroom" grabbed the shower, and proceed to put the fire out using it, shouting " Do not worry I have the fire under control!"

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In the very first session an administratorum sage who was role playing that he was escaping from the tedium of administration to see the universe broke into a med bay drug locker then asked to take one of everything without looking.

We played this as him having a bag of drugs, each time he used one I would assign a number to each drug in the book he had not used and he would use one at random, this led to numerous serious situations receiving a shock of insanity as he used the drugs on an impulse. Like pretending to be a doctor treating a man he had set on fire (accidentally) injecting him with something from the bag which heightened the mans senses, making him quite a bit worse before giving him detox which stopped the heightened senses but caused him to vomit, something the group didn't notice so whilst he didn't burn to death he did choke.

He eventually became addicted to drugs and the group got suspicious leading to more inner party horror when they confronted him.

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