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GM Stark

Humorous Item Qualities

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I was recently deep in a geek discussion about the Episode 7 trailer lightsaber, mostly criticizing its flaws. Since I'm hooked on this system, I eventually came up with a way to describe it in game terms. The result was an item quality that is the reverse of Cumbersome or Unwieldy (I think that's the one for the double-bladed).  It's reverse, because it sets a maximum rather than a minimum.

 

Item Quality: Ridiculous [Ranked]: If a character's Intellect score is higher than the value of Ridiculous, that character cannot understand why anyone would use such an item. You just can't even. 

 

So, of course, now I'm working on a list of qualities just for fun and amusement. That's not to say they won't end up in my campaign at some point.

 

Another one:

 

Item/Vehicle Quality: Inconsiderate [species or trait][Ranked] The design of the item, weapon, or vehicle makes it difficult for members of certain species, or species with a certain trait, (such as multiple or fewer limbs, smaller or larger silhouette, variant sensory ranges, etc.) to use. This design adds 1 Setback per rank to skill checks to use the item, pilot the vehicle, or fire the weapon.

"I don't think the Empire had Wookies in mind when they designed her, Chewie." -Han Solo

 

edit: Please share any that you come up with. Just for fun, of course. ;)

Edited by GM Stark

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I'll bite!

 

Twisted: when duelling an opponent armed with the same weapon and a Despair is rolled, the weapons become Twisted. You and your opponent must agree to make a combined Daunting Coordination or Athletics check to untwist them.

 

tangledschwartz.jpg

 

"Dammit! I hate it when I get my Schwartz twisted!"

Edited by I. J. Thompson

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Convincing fake: Ranked.

Each rank of convincing fake, when applied to arms or armor, decreases its ability while increasing the authenticity of its appearance. When interacting socially upgrade any rolls used to pass the item off as real.

Edit: Spelling errror. I'm on mobile, dernit.

Edited by Comrade Cosmonaut

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I sometimes like to include superficial quirks to items which can be amusing, but very occasionally useful. People tend to get pretty attached to their weird items. And sometimes you can work it into the game that, say, a ship flies past and the party recognizes the distinctive rattling sound of its engines.

 

How about this:

 

I Don't Even Hear It Anymore:

Item emits a strange and distinctive noise when used, but with no apparent ill effects. "Your blaster makes a sort of quacking sound when fired. It's weird, and it draws some curious looks, but it seems to work just fine."

 

It's a [species name] Thing:

Item is designed to appeal to the aesthetic or cultural sensitivities of a specific species, at the cost of offending or disturbing most other species. "Taking a closer look, you notice the blaster's buttstock appears to be carved in the shape of a female wookiee doing... something. It's both distracting and highly disturbing."

 

Permanent Marker:

Item was tastelessly or incriminatingly decorated by the previous owner, and it is impossible to remove without destroying the item. "You wish you could remove the 'Hello Wompy' sticker the last owner applied to the fighter's canopy, but it's permanently fused to the transparisteel."

Edited by PhilMetalJacket

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The only qualm I have with the crossguards is that the emitters stick out to far. Slide your lightsaber down the opposing blade and cut through the vulnerable metal bit as opposed to stopping like a crossguard is supposed to do. Unless Colbert's theory is right (it is), or lightsaber resistant material is now canon again.

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The only qualm I have with the crossguards is that the emitters stick out to far. Slide your lightsaber down the opposing blade and cut through the vulnerable metal bit as opposed to stopping like a crossguard is supposed to do. Unless Colbert's theory is right (it is), or lightsaber resistant material is now canon again.

 

You let the enemy slide their blade that far down on a normal saber and your fingers will be going instead, so that doesn't really matter.

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Lightsaber resistant material is already canon. See: Kanan getting struck by Vader's lightsaber in "Siege of Lothal"

Although to be fair, Riff Tamson's face is also lightsaber resistant.

 

 

Huh... that's odd... google is down...

I tried to google Riff Tamson and I can't google...

WHAT DO YOU GOOGLE TO FIND OUT IF GOOGLE IS DOWN?  :blink:

 

EDIT: You yahoo it :P 

Edited by OddballE8

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Permanent Marker:

Item was tastelessly or incriminatingly decorated by the previous owner, and it is impossible to remove without destroying the item. "You wish you could remove the 'Hello Wompy' sticker the last owner applied to the fighter's canopy, but it's permanently fused to the transparisteel."

We got something like this in our group ..

Due to a despair when buying our (ugly, bulky) ship, we now have a flying cantina, complete with a bar, stripper poles and weird a** lightning effects.

Now comes the drawback: It's pink. And said pink colour seems to successfully resist any attempts of getting rid of it.

The only thing we could do would be to replace the complete hull, and if we had that much credits, we could just as well buy another ship (which we will do as soon as our GM is done torturing us with this flying piece of junk).

Edited by Kaidan Sunstrider

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Then there’s the real-world counterpart to this kind of situation, where a player who was being a little OCD about his drawing on the Chessex Battlemap wasn’t as careful as he should have been about only using water-based pens, and thus left a large indelible drawing on half of it.

The weird part is that the two main colors he used were red and blue, as he was working on an image of a Mon Calamari who was literally half-covered in Booster Blue. Neither pen was water-based ink, but the he managed to get the red to come out. The blue never did. So, it was a pretty wild looking piece of surrealistic art when he finally gave up.

Yes, they threw out the Battlemat, and I think he had to buy a new one to replace it. Fortunately/unfortunately for him, the Battlemat in question belonged to the store, and he is/was employed by said store.

I never heard if the store owner got ticked off at him for having ruined it like that, but apparently the replacement has survived intact (so far) without any undesirable permanent artwork.

So, yeah. That kind of thing does happen. You really could be forced to serve on a submarine that was painted pink, and no way to fix that problem. Or, at least, not any time soon. ;)

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