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Tyraxus

Funny Moments

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I looked around and didn't see a thread for interesting/funny/ironic/facepalm moments during our games, so I thought I'd start one.

Ordo Hereticus game, rank 3.  Party consists of a Divine Light of Sollex Tech-Priest trying to become a Magos Biologos, a Noble-born Sororitas, a Mind-Cleansed Assassin with an eviscerator (who is the Sororitas' brother), a Schola-raised Adept in the service of the naval provosts, and my Gunmetal City Reclaimator Scum who "shoots things in the head" and generally cracks wise.

We (us, Inquisitor, whole retinue and about a dozen other Acolyte teams) drop out of Warp at Malfi, going to get the Inquisitor's ship back since it's in dock for repairs.  Turns out a mutant cult has engineered a rebellion on the planet and has taken the shipyards, and we just happened to have arrived before any Imperial reinforcements.  The Boss loads the teams into boarding torpedos and shoots us at the shipyard to try to take it back.  We fight some mutants, the Adept and Tech-Priest hack the Administratum records on the station to find out that the leader of the mutant cult is most probably in the planetary capital.  The issue of what to do crops up.

Adept: Well, this is an important world and shipyard, we ought to recommend we call in the guard and purge the planet level by level.  We can lead a team to go capture the leader and have him publicly executed.
Tech-Priest: I concur.
Sororitas: As long as the execution is by burning him at the stake.
Scum: How many of those ordinance torpedos are back in the armoury?
Adept: Uh, a couple of dozen big ones, why?
Scum: Nuke the entire hive from orbit.
Party and GM: sorpresa.gif
Scum: It's the only way to be sure.

=============

Later, the storm troopers and sororitas show up to secure the station's armoury while our Inquisitor hears our report.

Scum: *mock-saluting as they hustle past* Sergeant.  Trooper.  Trooper.  Sister.  Trooper.  Hello, sister *wink*.  Sergeant.  Legantine.  And a good evening to you, sister.  Sister.  Trooper.  Well, hello sister.
GM: Are you flirting with the Sisters of Battle?
Me: Only the hot ones.  You said they didn't take oaths of celibacy.
GM: Legantine Cynthia smacks you in the back of the head.  The Inquisitor chuckles.

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 alright in one of my games we had a psyker that was a pyromaniac he was trying to use a fireball to burn a giant xeno up at one go but all during the mission we had been making fun of him for being pretty usless finally as hes about to roll for the fireball he yells at the group in game "I AM NOT USELESS" and rolls two nines but our gm let him have the power backfire making him fly about ten feet backward into a wall...making him completely useless for the rest of the fight and him extremely grumpy lol...

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The group are fighting a Fenksworld Pit Thing. The Arbiter takes a pile of damage to the legs, reducing him to something like -16 wounds or something silly like that. Burns a fate point.

GM: "The pit thing roars in anger and brings its massive fists down again. You can feel your shins and knees splintering under the furious asault. You scream out loud in agony"

Guardsman: "At the risk of making broken bone jokes- Awwww Snap!"

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The players had just uncovered a sliver box relating to their current mission. Retreating to their shuttle on the landing pads of a small hive city, our psyker opens the box, initiating a mocking audio recording and a Thermonuclear bomb. I rule that a demolitions test is required to diffuse it, since I'd honestly counted on my players chucking it out and fleeing. But no.....the psyker disarms the frigger. He now has a Thermonuclear bomb -.-

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and ur problem is.........?

here's how i would explain this:

"Today's thought for the day is brought to you in part by the lovely people over at your local Missile Silo. "Nuke 'em till they glow, then shoot 'em in the dark!"

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hmmm....funny moments.....

oh i have one that involves one of the new guns i created.

one of my players guardsman was using this sniper rifle with a rather volatile fire round in (4d10 flame damage with 75% chance that target would burst into flame and Unstable trait), and was trying to take out a heretic High Priest, from about 750 metres (max range for this gun). anyways he was on top of a tower and he attempted to shoot said heretic and he rolled a 99, so me being an evil GM i said it completely backfired and teh round blew up in the breach, aka UBER BOOM!!!!!, and i made him roll on the damage chart for the Unstable trait and he got a 10 so that was about 80 points of damage done to him.

he blew up the top 2 levels of the tower and got launched another 100 metres away into a lake, he had to purn a fate poit to survive he turned up about a week later found by a fisherman, floating in the middle of the lake.

we still laugh at him for that, and he hasnt picked up another long rifle ingame since then.

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wulfenite said:

hmmm....funny moments.....

oh i have one that involves one of the new guns i created.

one of my players guardsman was using this sniper rifle with a rather volatile fire round in (4d10 flame damage with 75% chance that target would burst into flame and Unstable trait), and was trying to take out a heretic High Priest, from about 750 metres (max range for this gun). anyways he was on top of a tower and he attempted to shoot said heretic and he rolled a 99, so me being an evil GM i said it completely backfired and teh round blew up in the breach, aka UBER BOOM!!!!!, and i made him roll on the damage chart for the Unstable trait and he got a 10 so that was about 80 points of damage done to him.

he blew up the top 2 levels of the tower and got launched another 100 metres away into a lake, he had to purn a fate poit to survive he turned up about a week later found by a fisherman, floating in the middle of the lake.

we still laugh at him for that, and he hasnt picked up another long rifle ingame since then.

Should've used a fate point to reroll a failed test.

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Locque said:

wulfenite said:

 

hmmm....funny moments.....

oh i have one that involves one of the new guns i created.

one of my players guardsman was using this sniper rifle with a rather volatile fire round in (4d10 flame damage with 75% chance that target would burst into flame and Unstable trait), and was trying to take out a heretic High Priest, from about 750 metres (max range for this gun). anyways he was on top of a tower and he attempted to shoot said heretic and he rolled a 99, so me being an evil GM i said it completely backfired and teh round blew up in the breach, aka UBER BOOM!!!!!, and i made him roll on the damage chart for the Unstable trait and he got a 10 so that was about 80 points of damage done to him.

he blew up the top 2 levels of the tower and got launched another 100 metres away into a lake, he had to purn a fate poit to survive he turned up about a week later found by a fisherman, floating in the middle of the lake.

we still laugh at him for that, and he hasnt picked up another long rifle ingame since then.

 

 

Should've used a fate point to reroll a failed test.

yea but this was hilarious for everyone involved and he got a fate point back by the end of the campaign.

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Okay, spoiler alert for you who haven't played illumination or Edge of Darkness. (Some things I modified though..)

 

So I was Gming a game with 2 of my friends. Originally we started with Edge of Darkness and 4 players, but by the beginning of the second scenario Illumination, we were down to two. I couldn't find anyone else to join, and no one wanted to stop playing so we simply played with 2 characters. Oddly enough, they plowed through illumination without much trouble.

 

On Edge of Darkness, the 4 characters arrived at the train station and when they get off, another man gets on. Immediately one of the 2 guardsmen we had "Maze" went back on the train and began harrassing the man because he looked "suspicious." Eventually I had to have the train start leaving the station before he finally left the man alone and got off.  He then immediately proceeded to an alley where he saw a couple of people watching them and begins questioning them about the Murder of Saul. (This was supposed to be a secret investigation, no one even knew it was a murder besides the baddies and acolytes.)

Later, because of his disregard for secrecy, he is arrested in the middle of the street while eating a fried rat on a stick. When asked to drop the rat, he drops it on the ground, then picks it back up and begins eating it again. When they start to arrest him he pulls out his vox and begins radioing everyone that he was being arrested. (Giving away that he wasn't the only one.) So the characters have to stage a rescue and a big shootout occurs. Later, when Maze was free again, he winds up telling some random npcs about how the 4 of the killed a bunch of enforcers and wondered if they knew about any White Worm things inside people. V_V

Also, while doing Edge of Darkness, the characters were heading up the stairs of the Habstack where Saul lived when they ran into two homeless dregs. One dreg was standing near the stairs, and the other was laying on the ground near  the top stair. The two dregs tried to keep them from going up the stairs, simply stating that they didn't want to go up there, that it was bad up there, etc. However, the guardsmen "Gunner" decided to step over the one on the ground and keep going. This upset the dreg and I rolled a grapple, I rolled a 1. Suddenly the homeless man was latched onto the guardsmen's legs and would not let go. Even to this day he still complains about the "Ninja Homeless Man."

In the end, they fail the capture the churgeon, blow up the alms house, wind up releasing the plague, discover that the enforcers were actually acolytes from a different inquisitor, that their inquisitor/interrogator was a fake and are arrested and taken to a penal colony. They now really really hate Interrogator Sand.

 

Illumination

At one point in the game, a group of about 7 voicers were heading to attack the characters. One of them attempts to lob a firebomb at them, which would have been devastating because the characters were poorly equipped. However, I have a home rule that goes if you "miss" with a grenade you roll a strength check to see if you still manage to throw it about the same range as your targets. Well, the voicer failed miserably with an 86 and wound up throwing the firebomb directly at his feet, which exploded setting the entire group and a duskdog who was attacking them on fire. Killed all but the duskdog.

So the characters figure things out by the time the battle with the daemon occurs. They realize they have to take out the creatures eyes to kill it. However, apparently they failed their Common Sense checks because they couldn't figure out how to take out its eyes. For some reason the only way that came to mind was plucking it's eyes from it's head with their knives! (They did eventually realize called shots would work.. but it took a while and some gentle prods from the GM. They managed to kill Skae without losing a single fate point.)
 

 

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I'll just say this: Climb-checks during Shattered Hope with first level PC's can prove to be hilarious and actually more deadly than the baddies they encounter later on in the adventure. In fact I think more fate points were spent just to safely cross that large chasm in the ground than during any single combat during the entire scenario. SPOILER ALERT!

 

(even the Plaguebearer at the end proved to be easy pickings when the PC's pounded it with las weapons from afar)

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