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Calgor Grim

Misuse of Equipment

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Before I start, I would like to point out that this is all entirely tongue in cheek and not intended to be any way serious or fluff friendly, purely for amusement of me and my player group.

 

A discussion I had with a friend caused a very humorous and slightly odd discussion. It started off with a metaphor for overkill on tactics. The tactic that the chap suggested was over the top for the situation so I likened it to "using a thunder hammer to crack a walnut".

 

This caused some chuckles but then an interesting thought occurred and it spiralled off into obscurity discussing how various Astartes tools and equipment can actually be used practically and it became somewhat of a running joke that if the players continued to misbehave I would have them redecorating the entire watch fortress in their full load out.

 

The situation therefore would Involve:

  • Using Astartes chainswords to cut through timber (overkill)
  • Filling flamers with paint instead of promethium to speed up the job.
  • Thunder hammers (turned off) to insert nails.
  • Las Guns as laser pointers
  • Modified bolt pistols acting as nail guns

Any other little potential oddities anyone can think of for how to misuse marine equipment in this manner?

 

Misha, filliman, Fgdsfg and 2 others like this

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Here is are examples actually used by me and my player group.

 

Use a chainsword to cut meat and fruits to serve to the High King of Attenoria.

 

Use flamers to make a fire when trying to survive in the wild.

 

Use Missile Launchers and equip them with fire works to wow the audience.

 

Use Digital weapons in the guise of rings and give them to the ruler of Gaimocis. However when the king makes his brother kiss the ring and it turns on the weapon...

 

I like this topic and would like to see more thoughts to this.

filliman, Calgor Grim and Routa-maa like this

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Ah the insurance claim form when they get back to the watch fortress.

 

I have seen power swords used as a very emergency climbing/holding on moment. Turn on power field, ram it into the nearest solid object, disable power field while its stuck inside the wall and grab hold. The sword didn't fare well and wasn't removeable afterwards...

Edited by Calgor Grim

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For some reason I have that conversation from tommorrow never dies in my head - just replace Q with Harl Greyweaver..

 

Q: It's the insurance damage waiver for your beautiful new car. Now, will you need collision coverage?

James Bond: Yes.

Q: Fire?

James Bond: Probably.

Q: Property destruction?

James Bond: Definitely.

Q: Personal Injury?

James Bond: I hope not, but accidents do happen.

Q: They frequently do with you.

James Bond: Well, that takes care of the normal wear-and-tear. Is there any other protection I need?

Q: Only from me 007, unless you bring that car back in pristine order.

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Intentionally overheating a las pack to cook your corpse starch MRE.

 

Using the sacred chains that bind your black templar's holy weapons as a means to not lose small, important objects (yes, at one point, to my dismay, i was used as a key chain)

 

Using a campaign badge as a coaster/paperweight

 

Using krak grenades to cut down trees (because, well, my chainsword is my best friend)

 

As a Space Woof, using detcord to etch insulting messages onto the side car of the Dark Angel's attack bike.

 

Writing reports with your scout knife and whatever fluid you happen to have "on hand"

 

Using spent Assault Cannon casings as sippy cups

 

Discharging said Assault Cannon just to get a cup...

 

Using  the unconscious Brother Atresal (of the Imperial Fists) as a battering ram (his armor had locked up, he was totally rigid)

 

"Throwing down the gauntlet" with your chain fist.

 

Using a refractor field as a night light

 

Using a rejected requisition form as toiletries, especially in front of the offending munitorum staff

 

Using a Commissar's hat as toiletries (and etc, you get the point)

filliman and Calgor Grim like this

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A Marine sits down to write a 'Charming' letter to a Cardinal.  He decided to wear Thunder Armour while writing to get the +30 Fel bonus....

Edited by Visitor Q

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After getting hands on this baby

99120101115_LoganStormrider01.jpg

You shout "HO HO HO HO HOO, You have been naughty!" at the top of your lungs.

 

Just the next step in the GW's road to madness.

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After getting hands on this baby

99120101115_LoganStormrider01.jpg

You shout "HO HO HO HO HOO, You have been naughty!" at the top of your lungs.

 

Just the next step in the GW's road to madness.

Yeah I saw this come up. It's just more utter drivel. 

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When I saw that, I face palmed and then thought "Has Matt Ward again done his stuff?" :unsure:

 

Edit: correction

Edited by Routa-maa

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You shout "HO HO HO HO HOO, You have been naughty!" at the top of your lungs.

 

Just the next step in the GW's road to madness.

 

Oh god, that's just hilarious and adorable! 

But actualy not the 1st time GW got x-mass into warhammer 40k.

Back in the early 90s there was a small article about the "chrismass marines". (Red power armor with white trims) Atleast that was sort of a joke. Or how about the "Rainbow warriors" chapter from rogue trader?

 

With the Legion of the damned filling in for halloween, all we need now is a tyranid easter bunny monster that lays hormagaunt-spawning eggs and we are set!

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