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Elavion

You know you're playing Black Crusade, when...

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When your Khorne Berzerker burns all his infamy points to single handedly kill a Living Saint

 

When one player loses 3 characters in 3 sessions all due to failed vehicle driving checked

 

When the Night Lord rolls consecutive 100s for stealth and piloting his jetpack

 

When the Nurgle sorcerer summons 100 wounds worth of maggots and worms out of his body

 

When a Marine licks the Slaaneshis hand to help track the person who just kissed it

 

When the Slaaneshi does... anything

My next campaign will be a Khorne Berzerker, a Noise Marine, a Plague Marine, and a Thousand Sun Sourcerer... what could go wrong?

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...when the Chaos Ork warboss rides into battle on his skull throne shouting orders so hard that the enemy takes damage from the blast.

...when the party has to put a disclaimer on the skull throne that it is not THAT Skull Throne.

...when the campaign ends in wonderful betrayal.

...when that betrayal comes not from Chaos being Chaos, but from a Space Wolf loyalist and a Necron-employed heretek who want to Kindly Get Off This Crazy Train.

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...when the Chaos Ork warboss rides into battle on his skull throne shouting orders so hard that the enemy takes damage from the blast.

...when the party has to put a disclaimer on the skull throne that it is not THAT Skull Throne.

...when the campaign ends in wonderful betrayal.

...when that betrayal comes not from Chaos being Chaos, but from a Space Wolf loyalist and a Necron-employed heretek who want to Kindly Get Off This Crazy Train.

I don't think you understand how happy it made me to read this pile of zany absurdity Edited by filliman

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Two months ago, the Space Wolf had notified me of what he was doing (ie, being a closet loyalist) and since then he'd become increasingly concerned IC at the party's shenanigans. The heretek had similar issues, though for her the impetus was more that she'd gained a Psy Rating as part of a cosmic joke. (She was also easily as tough as a Chimera out of fear of the rest of the group.) Thus they began collaborating, and the final straw came when the warboss managed to cobble up the galaxy's first Chaos Waaagh. Luckily for them and their escape, no one in the party was nearly as good with tech as Magos Jet, so undoing her sabotage took frustratingly long in-game. (Out of game it was a few seconds, of course.)

 

The aforementioned betrayal was primarily of the cut-and-run variety rather than bomb-all-the-things, so when it became evident I put the party to a poll about whether they'd continue or proceed to the sequel. (They all voted for the sequel, having largely accomplished the players' goals up to that point.) That'll be interesting, considering that it's a hacked DH2E pretending to be Rogue Trader with updated design sensibilities.

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...when you go looking for the steeds of chaos to start the apocalypse

...and your trip takes you through a place where the veil is so thin you're fighting the ork infestation on the planet in a ghostly rendition of ragnarök/Khorne's battlegrounds

...when you then find out the steeds of chaos are not only space ships, but older than Slaanesh, so he doesn't have one...

...when one of them is a squat ship...

...and has the genetic database to recreate the race inside.

...when you decide it's an awesome idea, but tell them they're "chaos dwarves" now.

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Yep. Basically our dealio with heralds of the endtimes is going to involve orchestrating a fiery inferno and creating something new out of the ashes.

 

Or such is "the plan".

 

Given we don't have near the resources Abaddon has and he's yet to succeed, things will get...interesting. It's an uphill climb there, but a fairly challenging and enjoyable one. Especially for a humans-only party containing two hereteks(one admech, one voidsman) and a fallen commissar.

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When two of the heretics end up facing each other in a fighting pit to provide a 'distraction' for the crowd whilst the more devious types carry out nefarious shennanigans.

 

It's the Frost Maiden and Warpsmith again. The 'distraction' didn't really last long enough.

 

Turn 1: Both parties advance, assuming a defensive stance. No blows are exchanged. Both parties check intimidate/command/charm (player's choice). Warpsmith tanks it, and the crowd jeers. Someone throws some rotten fruit.

 

"Yes, it's me!" says the plague marine Heretic, who's only resorting to rotten tomatoes because the armsmen wouldn't let him bring Blight Grenades into the hall.

 

Turn 2: The Frost Maiden, who either wasn't let in on the 'make a good show for the crowd to keep them entertained' or wasn't paying attention at the time, and has quite a few ill-repressed issues with the warpsmith, uses an Infamy point for Killing Strike. Which combined with Hammer Blow, Furious Assault, Flesh Render and a best-craftsmanship eviscerator, neatly removes the warpsmith's right leg.

 

The plague marine continues to pelt the warpsmith with fruit as he tries to stop critical blood loss.

Edited by Magnus Grendel

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When the Heretics decide to steal a Jeep (of all things) and drive it straight into an Imperial Guard ambush, get blown up by a Leman Russ and walk away relatively unscathed (Q'Sal Magister with Shimmering Robes and levitate, Nurgle Chaos Space Marine, Khorne Daemon-kin Heretek, Pirate Prince and Apostate).

Edited by Keffisch

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When the group is split in two by wanting to kill an annoying character, but the Alpha Legionnaire betrays the bigger group because they didn't keep him informed. Now two groups want to kill each other.

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When the team agrees to kill the deathwatch marines aboard the imperial star fortress as their part in the massive assault only to have the noise marine belatedly realize what was going on and suggest doing one of the other missions - after the mission has started.  Never did i think a player would epitomize the immortality motivation so well.

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