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You know you're playing Black Crusade, when...

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  • When the Heretics are beset by a literal tidal wave of Chaos Spawn (over a hundred, in fact!)

When the Tzeenchian tries to use assorted pyromancy powers to cause the aura of flame of the unaligned to detonate.

When he rather overcooks this power, vapourizing many of the spawn and critically wounding the unaligned in the process.

When the Chosen charges into a cloud of nurgle's rot to help - and starts taking serious wounds once his armour is breached.

When the Nurglesque fires his reaper autocannon (the ectoplasma cannon still recharging) at point blank range and manages to hit the Chosen - nearly killing him

When the tidal wave of nurglings spawned from nurgling infestation (19!) is becoming disconcertingly more and more organised. The last time they marched out in an orderly, tight knit phalanx to high pitched marching calls. The Nurglesque was somewhat confused: "Where did they get the spears....wait a minute, those are my ribs!"

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• When you make a size 9 helldrake that later goes after ship fighter planes

• when you realize Said helldrake can be your minion but you only have 65 infamy after the session not 70 which is required.

• overtake a small hellforge within a single day and then have the khornate human Kill the arch magos in 3 hits with his FISTS

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When your Slaaneshi player manages to ascend into a Demon Prince, and effectively becomes Sweets from Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Complete with musical intro).

 

When your Sleneshi Demon Prince drops effectively from "effectively becomes Sweets".

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When your Slaaneshi player manages to ascend into a Demon Prince, and effectively becomes Sweets from Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Complete with musical intro).

 

When your Sleneshi Demon Prince drops effectively from "effectively becomes Sweets".

When you have a slaaneshi player named Bombastus and when he appears the gm puts on the Mr bombastik song.

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• When your GM enda the game on a point where all the players go their own way. While the warpsmith i played as for over 3months **** of and joins a bunch of sneaky gitz

From where he becomes 1 of the 4 commanding officers just cus of your skill and Knowledge

When you fight hvy grav wealding skitarii and you say i wonder what would happen if i turn a grav Gun into a daemon weapon

Edited by Brote the Swed

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-A CSM-Chosen decides to go to Slaanesh and becomes the face-man of the group.

 

-Said Chosen bluffs his way into Imperial Space by stating that he is a "Child of the Emperor", the apostate is his serf and the heretec takes care of the armour and everyone buys it.

 

-The "List of important NPCs" is equal to the players Death List

 

-The CSM player is happily surprise to find out what the Omophagea does because it was not the real reason why he ate that guy.

 

-The answer to the RPG-old question "What shall we do with the prisoners?" is always "Rendering Apothecarium"

 

-Bombing a planet from orbit is more mercyful for the inhabitants than having the PCs land there

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 ... when Psyker says, totally seriously and in character, "The fact that I'm sitting on a chair does NOT mean I am mutating rabbits!"

 ... When Khornite finds a very rare breed of rabbits from a Tomb World, and when he finds out they have negative Warp presence (basically like weak blanks), instantly catches them and brings on a ship as personal anti-psyker pets. Because he has hatred: psykers both in and out of character.

 ... When said players intends to mutate them and change into psyker-killer rabbits, straight from Monthy Python...

 ... When players can't do anything to Necron Wraiths with plasma weaponry and psychic powers because of their phase out and high Dodge, and Khornite gets mad and throws two spears (borrowed from local primitive people) at them, killing them instantly thanks to his Unnatural Strength...

 ... When said spears do more damage than Doombolt...

 ... When players realize that Sunder the Veil is the answer to any problem...

 ... Except Primordial Annihilation is better...

... When once per session psyker uses all psychic boosts in existence to boost his PR to 25, uses Primordial Annihilation and Warp Lock, killing everyone in 250 meters diameter and dealing 1d5 damage to himself... and that's all, no other side effects.

 ... When psyker starts killing rabbits because they lower his Psy Rating...

 ... When passing Deceive as Undivided character basically means "I throw half of my Infamy Points at them, I win..."

 ... When Khornite starts throwing rabbits mutated into Chaos Spawns at said psyker, who dodges or deflects with force field...

 ... When Slaaneshi capitain of this ship is torn between actually telling Khornite that psyker mutated his rabbits and the fact that he would be helping a Khornite this way...

 ... When said thrown rabbits deal on average more damage than krak grenade because of Khornite's Unnatural Strength bonus...

 ... When nothing can stop your players from trying, for a whole session, to salvage as much Necron tech as they can find...

 ... And when they realize they have no idea in-character what these Xenos are and what they're called, they call them "Necroskeletons", until one of them accidentally calls them "Skeletors" starting He-Man references...

 ... When all of the above is considered a perfect roleplaying for a Black Crusade team.

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 ... When your Chaos Psyker regularly uses Sunder the Veil, Warp Sense, powerful rituals and channels Warp through Warp-based Talents, but he still does not have Forbidden Lore: Warp and has no idea (mechanically) what Warp is...

 ... When your Slaaneshi is a genius when it comes to drugs and such, but he got a robotisation mutation and cannot use them on himself despite being a Slaaneshi...

... When Khornite is sad they did not meet any Flayed Ones and hopes to find them, since he wants some good close-combat fight...

... And then he changes his mind and decides that fighting Monolith would be much better challenge to him, one on one, after hearing that one player in other Black Crusade campaign managed to do that... barely.

... When Slaaneshi capitain of the ship immidiately reacts with " But not on my ship! No fighting Monoliths on my ship!"
 
... When the only way to stop psyker from using his powers to nuke village that annoyed him is to promise that you will nuke it from the orbit... it's the only way to be sure.

... When buying Carapace Armor, Best Quality Chainaxes and additional equipment isn't a problem, but you fail to buy a single micro-bead...

... When psyker can kill everything in 250 meters in 4 seconds by dealing himself 1d5 damage, once per session, can use Gift of Chaos to auto-kill every non-psyker non-Khornite character in existence in every rulebook, can fly, live in a vacuum, get Demonc Trait, Fear 4, and has access to psychic power that allows him to negate any psychic power used around him...

 ... When Khornite can deal around 300 Damage in one turn in CC while using Lightning Attack...

... When psyker considers the most powerful champion in whole Hadex Anomaly a "small fry" and says that nothing short of Abaddon counts as a game, this is just a prologue, game starts when he goes to kill Abaddon (and Chaos Gods next)...

 

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On 20.12.2016 at 3:07 PM, Alank2 said:

... When Khornite is sad they did not meet any Flayed Ones and hopes to find them, since he wants some good close-combat fight...

... And then he changes his mind and decides that fighting Monolith would be much better challenge to him, one on one, after hearing that one player in other Black Crusade campaign managed to do that... barely.

... When Slaaneshi captain of the ship immediately reacts with " But not on my ship! No fighting Monoliths on my ship!"

 

 ... When Khornite can deal around 300 Damage in one turn in CC while using Lightning Attack...

 

... When players capture Necron Lord and start experimenting on him...

... When Necron Lord escapes using Veil of Darkness and teleport around ship, wrecking engines and such...

... When players end up with a Necron Monolith summoned on their ship...

... And manage to destroy it... or more accurately, Khornite manages to do so with his absurd Strength Bonus.

... When said ship returns to a nearest shipyard for repairs in 2 months, and is damaged so badly it stays in one piece only thanks to duck tape and Slaaneshi's Unnatural Intelligence... which spawns jokes about "unnatural duck tape x2".

... When players are considered interesting by the most important person in entire Warp Storm, make a non-aggression treaty with him and first thing they do is immediately leaving the Warp Storm to search for something outside of it...

... When Slaaneshi opposes fact that Khornite is trying to use Balanced weapons, because he considers it impossible for him to use anything balanced when his character is so unbalanced...

Edited by Alank2

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This is a very recent game that has started and it's only a session or so in... but already it is proving to be highly interesting. Just keep in mind that all the players are human (no Chaos space marines).

 

The Khornite former guardsmen manages to get his mates together (the other players who are members of his squad) and tells them what he wants to do in order to earn the attention of the Chaos Gods. "I want to create a weapon... and have it blessed by Khorne personally."... as in in person. He plans to somehow travel into the warp realm of the Blood God himself, borrow one of the demon forges that are there long enough to create a weapon, then make the pilgrimage to the Skull Throne itself and ask the Blood God in person to bless it with his power; His logic being that if they can somehow survive the journey and make it that far, Khorne would be impressed by the sheer size of their balls and the amount of blood that they would have had to spill to get that far. 

 

While at first the other members of the party are... skeptical of this plan, the main Khornite starts to win them around to it with the promise that 'We could burn a thousand worlds and offer up untold trillions of souls to the Chaos Gods and they won't bat an eye because countless other **** have already done it before us but I can promise you that the gods themselves will have to acknowledge us if we can stand before the Skull Throne itself and look Mighty Khorne in the eye...  and they will remember us because no one has ever done it before and possibly never will again.'

 

So the party is currently making plans to gather a Black Crusade together. Not to invade the Imperium, but to launch an invasion of Khorne's personal realm in order to earn his blessing in person at the most holy of sites to a Khornite. They aren't even planning to try and hog the blessing for themselves; As far as they are concerned, if anyone survives to make it to the Skull Throne itself after fighting through the Blood God's realm, they earned their place there and any reward that Khorne deems fit to give them. Worst case and they fail... well, they figure they might still get Khorne's favor for trying if they fight hard enough. After all, no one has ever launched a Black Crusade into his realm before...

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 ... When GM says to an Undivied PC (sadly not Slaaneshi), absolutely seriously, "No, you do not get bonus XP and Infamy for summoning Daemonettes for an orgy"...
 ... When out of 4 important Chaos Champions one has empty skull instead of head, another is bascially a robot and has a cogitator instead of brain, and the last one is some kind of unholy fusion with Deamon and doesn't have normal brain; and a Tzeentchian psyker, being the most normal out of them, comments that everyone around her is brainless, literally...
 ... When buying 150 000 grenades for your troops is considered normal and cheap...
 ... When your Slaaneshi uses Pendant of Slaanesh to hit 3-digit number Agility...

Edited by Alank2

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To continued the tale of a bunch of Guardsmen wishing to gather a Black Crusade to invade Khorne's realm. Just to explain, the system they were in had been hit with a different Black Crusade and it had sort of kept going, leaving a bunch of warbands and cultists in its wake to clean up and hold turf  (normally the guys who either were a little too successful that the big boss wanted them somewhere where they couldn't really do anything major or the mooks that couldn't fit on the ships and were just abandoned because even if they lost all the mooks, they could just get more later).

The party managed to swing a bunch of other guardsmen units to join them, managing to scrap together maybe half a regiments worth of people with at least two sentinels (Partly because they all shared an experience with the Imp guard, partly because they didn't have anything better to do and they rather preferred following other humans then... well, whatever the hell the Chaos Space Marines could be considered now). 

As news of their quest reached the actual Chaos Marine warbands, it caused something of a division. Two warbands thought it was a great idea and decided to make preparations to do it themselves, one warband and at least two cults considered the idea to be absolutely heretical and declared war on all those making preparations... and most of the other cults and warbands jumped in because it was a good opportunity to murder rivals and loot other warbands gear (and in at least one case, simply because they were bored). This quickly spiraled into a full on inter-system all out war between pretty much everyone.

Then a ship appeared out of the warp, calling down on the planet that the party was on and asking for them by name. The captain of this Chaos vessel (Called The Iron Hoof ) and several important members of the crew had received visions which had lead them to this planet, claiming that there would be great glory and rewards to be had for joining up with the party. The arrival of this vessel and the visions that had led to them was seen as a sign of favor from the Chaos Gods themselves and several cults that had once been against the party and their plan (along side a few that had been neutral) were suddenly willing to join up to the cause. 

No Chaos Marines at this point; The bastards don't want to take orders from lowly humans and they are too busy fighting each other now anyway.

So the party has about half a regiment, two sentinels, a couple of cults and a void ship that can travel through the warp... and the system they are currently in is ablaze with all out war between the various cults and warbands that remain.

 

 

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On 12.02.2017 at 11:00 PM, Alank2 said:


 ... When buying 150 000 grenades for your troops is considered normal and cheap...
 

 ... When one of the players reads above and makes GM correct that it was around 500 000, no less...

 ... When Khornite's idea of planet conquest is to teleport in the planet's capital city and walk to their leaders, killing everything that tries to stop it. Considering said Khornite can break through concrete and can shoot down choppers by throwing large rocks at them (and hitting) at 150 meters range, this plan has a chance of succeeding...

 ... When Undivided Psyker decides to get rid of Khornite after his plans to control psykers are growing too large in scale, Khornite player declares (out of character) that he can take him, Tzeentchian psyker takes both sides at once and alternates between supporting either of them at the same time, and Slaaneshi capitain of their ship immidiately says "Not on my ship!"...

 ... To which GM remained him that every time he said that the exact thing happened...

 ... When no one in the group has any problem with one of them governing the planet they just conquered, but making regulations and laws concerning psykers on this planets immidiately triggers everyone...

 ... When your players regularly read this topic and want you to make corrections and add more posts, because they do not have time to write them themselves (they are too busy plotting against each other to have time for such earthly concerns)...
 

 

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-When the Thousand Sons Sorcerer with a Psychic Hood and a Bedlam Stave in a party of advanced players still manages to somehow roll "Metaphysical Anihilation" on Perils of the Warp.

 

- When you GM a party made of 2 Psykers (Telkine and Telepath focused), 1 Heretek, 1 Apostate, 1 Renegade- and they all die to a single Tyranid Warrior.

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 - When your players really think that they are better than the quasi-1984 planet they found and they are going to make it better by bringing Chaos there...
 ... Which includes mutation, worshiping Eldritch Abominations from beyond time and space,  and building massive fleet and army for said players...
 ... And it's not only character, but the players who actually believe that they bring something good to those people...
 - When you know that you're players read this topic and they're going to disagree with you and say that they are really better for these people than their current government... and all this starts going meta.

 - When PC's seem more human and morally better than society they are trying to conquer...
 - When PC's would actually leave this planet alone, but natives captured some of their crew and refuse to give them back. Therefore, they deserve to be taught a lesson, and as an additional benefit planet will be under their control.
 - When PC's first try to explore the planet ended up with them losing their most powerful ship; second one ended up with a Plasma Torpedo exploding nearly point-blank in their faces, which forced one of the characters to sustain his life via reverse-engineered Necron-tech which is now imbued in him with no way out; third one ended with a Tzeentchian Astropath saving them for a price that is, as of yet, unknown but can be very bad.
 - ... And they are still going to try again. And again. And again. Their current plan is to drop a wrecked SHIP to the planet and hide in the wreckage. They will avoid orbital scanners by IRRADIATING the hell out of their Arvus shuttle so radiation will hide them in the static in the middle of the burning and exploding wreckage. That is falling to the planet. Full of enemies. Free-falling through the atmosphere. Did I mention they are going to irradiate their own shuttle?

 - When your players are so high-powered that summoning and defeating a Herald of any Chaos God is considered a sport, and not a real challenge like, say, summoning a GREATER daemon and fighting it one on one.
 - When they still haven't reached Ascension, which makes GM think what will they be capable of once they actually Ascend...
 - ... And when they are really sad that invading Khorne's Realms is already taken and they cannot do that after reading this topic lately.

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On 04/04/2017 at 0:06 AM, Alank2 said:

 - When your players really think that they are better than the quasi-1984 planet they found and they are going to make it better by bringing Chaos there...
 ... Which includes mutation, worshiping Eldritch Abominations from beyond time and space,  and building massive fleet and army for said players...
 ... And it's not only character, but the players who actually believe that they bring something good to those people...
 - When you know that you're players read this topic and they're going to disagree with you and say that they are really better for these people than their current government... and all this starts going meta.

 - When PC's seem more human and morally better than society they are trying to conquer...
 - When PC's would actually leave this planet alone, but natives captured some of their crew and refuse to give them back. Therefore, they deserve to be taught a lesson, and as an additional benefit planet will be under their control.
 - When PC's first try to explore the planet ended up with them losing their most powerful ship; second one ended up with a Plasma Torpedo exploding nearly point-blank in their faces, which forced one of the characters to sustain his life via reverse-engineered Necron-tech which is now imbued in him with no way out; third one ended with a Tzeentchian Astropath saving them for a price that is, as of yet, unknown but can be very bad.
 - ... And they are still going to try again. And again. And again. Their current plan is to drop a wrecked SHIP to the planet and hide in the wreckage. They will avoid orbital scanners by IRRADIATING the hell out of their Arvus shuttle so radiation will hide them in the static in the middle of the burning and exploding wreckage. That is falling to the planet. Full of enemies. Free-falling through the atmosphere. Did I mention they are going to irradiate their own shuttle?

 - When your players are so high-powered that summoning and defeating a Herald of any Chaos God is considered a sport, and not a real challenge like, say, summoning a GREATER daemon and fighting it one on one.
 - When they still haven't reached Ascension, which makes GM think what will they be capable of once they actually Ascend...
 - ... And when they are really sad that invading Khorne's Realms is already taken and they cannot do that after reading this topic lately.

Don't be sad... After all, there are at least 3 other realms worth invading.

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 - When they prepare to kill the main antagonist , their only rival to the throne of Warp Storm, for a few sessions, but they suddenly decide not to, and instead kill the most powerful Greater Daemon in the Warp Storm, than they take his daemonic armies for themselves, and THEN they proceed to beat the living crap out of the poor rival with their help...
 - Also, when the best way for a Khornite Deamon Prince with Collar of Khorne to kill a Greater Daemon of Tzeentch is, according to him, entering through the front door, and killing everything between door and the throne room. And it works, wihth side effect of some allies burning Fate to survive while helping him. Just as Planned.
 - When in order to kill a PC, enemy has to destroy his mind, than snap his neck, than make his ship Plasma Drive explode, than Warp Drive explode, than make a hole in reality that sucks him to the Warp, and after all that, he still needs his allies to betray him otherwise he would survive...
 ... And guess what, they did left him to die no problem. What a surprise.
 - When players divide Jericho Reach between themselves, and Tzeentchian and Khornite are tricking each other to no end, which somehow ends with Outer Reaches being left for a Tzeentchian Astropath, ALL ships in the Jericho being under command of a Slaaneshi robot pirate vampire corsair Deamon Prince, and Khornite Deamon Prince being the supreme ruler. Somehow. And no one is really sure who actually outsmarted the other.
 - And, the Necron tomb world in a middle of a Warp Storm also ends up in hands of said Tzeentchian. No one knows why, propably.
 - Said Khornite is a happy ruler of the Warp Storm and beyond... expect that he now learned about Necron threat and is not happy. At all.
 - Slaaneshi PC is ready to risk his life and lives of his allies to fight few thousand years old Apostle of World Bearers Legion, because he banished him from the Warp Storm for a few months. That said Apostle had every right to slay him back than and was just merciful, and also did it to not weaken Warp Storm further after a civil war, is of no consequence. And the fact that he's thousand years old and like ten times more powerful than him is also ignored.

 - And as a side note, despite the fact that their second group plays Deathwatch and there were focused on fighting Chaos for last 6 months IRL, few in-game years, and the fact that there are total of 3 different Deathwatch groups playing in the Jericho Reach next to them, BC campaign still managed to basically own entire Jericho Reach and there is nothing Imperium can do to even slow them down. Basically only Tyranids and Necrons are left to oppose Chaos, and Tyranids are bent on attacking Warp Gate and ignore Chaos for now, while Necron sleep, mostly. It's pretty hilarious.

  For more about my hilarious DW groups, check the alternate topic, You Know You're Playing Deathwatch When... ;).

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On 7/16/2016 at 1:52 AM, Senshuken said:

When your Slaaneshi player manages to ascend into a Demon Prince, and effectively becomes Sweets from Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Complete with musical intro).

 

 

 

When your Nurglite player effectively turns into Mayor Richard Wilkins III

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