Elavion

You know you're playing Black Crusade, when...

241 posts in this topic

-When the first contact between two PCs ends up with "What do you think you're staring at? i punch him in the face."

 

-When your Heretek, who managed to get a psyker talent, continuously ignores the cries for help from his ally that is burning to death on the ground beaten by a bunch of massive mutants, and instead is testing out his flashy new powers.

 

-When the best ranged weapon carried by party is a primitive harpoon gun, because you can pull that unfortunate guy closer to your Khornite.

 

-The first thing the khorne champion does when a powerful tzeentchian sorcerer approaches them with a job offer is "I decapitate him." And he does, just to get possesed by a warp being that the sorcerer turned out to be.

 

-When the Khornate gets hit by a two-handed Daemon prince daemon weapon carried by a 4-meter tall winged mutant and burns infamy to survive, gets corruption points for failing his god, mutates, and gets wings too.

 

-When instead of taking the forementioned DW, he releases the prince so he can get a nice container for a Khorne Herald that pissed him off.

 

Mostly wanted to start the thread so I can hear your stories. :)

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-When you refuse honorable duel from storm wardens veteran marine by turning him to dust with exhalted power in front of his company.

-When you capture a sororitas battle sister 500 times younger than you, from an order which is 19 times younger than you and during interrogation it is no wonder, when she mentions faith and faithlessness, that you are better in theology (opposed SL (Imperial Creed)). Being older than ministorum and witnessing the Emperor in flesh also helps. Bonus points if you are still at 0 corruption during the discussion.

-When you burn the very soul essence of poor miserable slaves to power your suit of armour and fuel your Rhino APC not because you wish to please your masters, but because you have no spare money and slaves are the cheapest fuel out there.

-When you have so many gifts that you are being used to excecute people by simply forcing them to look upon your sanity-shattering form.

-When you are a feudal world archer, and arrows that appear right from your bow hiss in mid-flight and can punch through terminator armour as if it was paper.

-When the Vortex trembles before your Daemon Legacy Improvised weapon.

Edited by Chaplain

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When peeling an imperial guardsman live on an open vox channel is your standard opening gambit for negotiation surrenders.

 

When you find out there's an Ordo whose official remit mentions you by name.

 

When one party member's requisitions include a full infantry battalion

 

When another party member's requisitions include eight highly-trained assassin infil-traitors replacing the senior officers of said infantry battalion.

 

When a third party member's requisitions include a magna-melta warhead clamped to the drive core of the infantry battalion's dropship.

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When you find yourself as minions of a Khornate warlords black crusade to capture an Imperial titan and accidentally drop half his armoured support in the middle of an ice field, sinking most of it...

Edited by Calgor Grim
Talon of Anathrax likes this

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When you decide it's a better option to just kidnap your fellow PCs in the middle of the night for unnecessary enhancement surgery.

 

When you decide it's a better option to also "put them back where you found them", albiet, unconscious, so they are none-the-wiser you did something to them.

 

When you spread the taint of Chaos through proper schooling and education.

 

When you slight-of-hand away a dead Marine's geneseed for in-depth study later because a currently alive Marine is otherwise watching you to make sure you don't do that very thing.

 

When you find out accidentally that your psychic thought-sending will set off the Khorne Marine into a frenzy, which will cause another Marine to burn infamy to stay alive, but minus one arm, which you will later turn into a monstrously powerful cybernetic.

 

When you plan on "accidentally" on-purpose use thought-sending on the Khorne Marine for your own selfish purposes.

 

When you steal your fellow PCs equipment, only to replace it with better equipment, simply because they can't make an aquisition-roll to save their life and are too much of a jerk to accept a gift. Because they are paranoid you might have trapped it.

 

When you "trap" your fellow PCs' equipment with explosives.

Edited by Bore

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When you kill Marneus Calgar.

 

Oh, and when you desecrate the Emperors corpse.

Edited by Misha

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when the inquisition is trying to kill you because you actually did something wrong..

when the doctor fixes you arm but gives you gangrene trench foot and syphilis on purpose.

when having your ship possesed is a good thing.

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When an obvious evil and insane chao twisted 'creature' considers education reforms to be a valid attack against the imperium (to much the gm's headache sparks a debate between players about what that means and what it'd cause)

Amroth likes this

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When motivating troops goes with spine ripping instead of shooting them...

When giving blight grenades to ferals as "presents"  also suggesting that the real gift of Nurgle  is after the ring pull....

When maintaining your Terminator Armour is more important  than your troops, minions, allies food supplies so you trade it for a best craftsmanship polishing and spiking  from an expert heretech....

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In response to DanteInfernal
 

when someone suggests dropping the gellar field to collect demons in a cheaper manner than pacts (Not as helpful as an optimistic captain though) 

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When you slight-of-hand away ....

 

 

Thats definitely black crusade right there.  All the other lines use sleight of hand.

 

 

It's one of those irregular verbs. I proactively requisition, You make a sleight of hand check, He steals everything not nailed down then sets to work on the nails.

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when a dying khornate berserker lops his own head of screaming "One more skull for Khorne!"

 

when the Slaaneshi raptor inists that "Drill abotts do nothing but molest schola progenium students all day"- and wants to get in on the act!

 

when the group gets all paranoid when the Alpha legion marine keeps botching critical rolls and everybody starts wondering about ulterior motives and who's side the AL is on...

 

When the slaanesh raider acts more like a gunslinger than a ship captain, has pistol weapons of each of the weapon types (las, bolt, exotic, plasma, melta, flame, etc) And is actualy named "Lord Akimbo".

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When you wade through the bloody remains of your enemies, raising your head to the sky and screaming your warcry for the glory of Khorne...

 

... and then you realise that you've *still* killed far fewer people than you did when you were playing Dark Heresy.

Drhoz, Robin Graves and Vandegraffe like this

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When you wade into a horde of enemies, rip the skull and spine out of one of them instead of cleaving apart many more with your axe, and then proceeding to slaughter them with the axe in one hand and the spine and skull in the other.

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When you wade through the bloody remains of your enemies, raising your head to the sky and screaming your warcry for the glory of Khorne...

 

... and then you realise that you've *still* killed far fewer people than you did when you were playing Dark Heresy.

 

That reminds me of a bit from the last chancers novel. (spoilers)

 

At one point Col. Shaefer introduces a former officio sabotorum operative as "having killed more people than any one in this room- including you and me Cage." the colonel and cage were (in the previous story) responsible for blowing up an entire CITY!

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The GM and a Flesh shaper player spends more time, discussing how much/what the player should be able to do as a flesh shaper, than you actually spend playing the game.

The Flesh shaper still wants more alone talkie time with the GM...

The GM does not have to even think about stirring up rivalry, since everyone picks a different god.

Merely the thought of a future nugle follower in the party makes everyone (but the nurgle follower) feel "uneasy"

Threats (all in good fun) are very common amongst players.

The nurgle apostle flips a table after the Tech priest said that the flesh was weak.

Aforementioned Tech priest gets mortally wounded by nurgle player...

 

Edited by Cortezz
Drhoz and Ghaundan like this

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