Very well edited. You make it easy to follow what's happening.
For the guys playing, if you are serious with doing this, they should focus to develop their own entertainment value. Be more talkative, never whisper or mumble, rather just say what your thinking as much as they can and communicate with the audience their plans. Some banter and some RP while playing is exellent. The "Games night" channel is a good example of guys being really funny and entertaining to watch playing tabletop.
Best of luck, can really see this improving and getting really good.