The love doctor is in.
The problem, of course, is that you are trying to play X-Wing with your wife when you should be playing Sex-Wing with her. This is an opportunity to strengthen your relationship on many levels, but you have to make the most of it.
First off, replace the lightbulbs over the kitchen table with red ones, and then dim the lights. If you don’t have a dimmer then just remove some of the bulbs. If in a jam Christmas lights will do just as long as they are not blinky.
Next, music should be playing in the background. You should know your wife well enough to know what works, but you should definitely include You Sexy Thing by Hot Chocolate. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-m9uG50mSw&feature=youtu.be
Cologne. The GOOD stuff: Sex Panther. (https://www.amazon.com/Sex-Panther-Cologne-Spray-Men/dp/B002R0GN9S)
Your outfit should be reasonably seductive. Show some skin, especially if you are hairy.
Lastly, you must repeatedly demonstrate what we in the X-Wing community call “The Power Stance.” Rest one foot on a chair, the other on the ground. This stance is used by X-Wing players to intimidate and demonstrate power over our opponents, but in this situation it is extreme seduction. While some women may call this another form of “manspreading,” the truth is women want to be manhandled and that’s what you are suggesting when using “The Power Stance.”
My wife hated X-Wing, but eventually I got her to play and now she even go to tournaments regularly with me. Here’s my REAL thoughts on how to get her to play this game and how you both can enjoy it, in order of importance:
1: FOCUS ON OFFENSE. The first list I gave my wife was 1.0 Miranda/Dash - it shot at stuff and stuff went *BOOM*. Put Wedge and Luke out there with some Proton Torpedoes on them! You need to learn what it’s like when stuff just gets erased off the board in the blink of an eye. Why? Because everything interesting in life involves PRIMAL urges - and the desire to NOT DIE is the strongest one!
2: 75 MINUTES. Play with the official 75 minute time limit. This is ignored by SO MANY in casual play, but it is such a great part of this game. It creates a certain level of intensity that gives more meaning to every minute and turn of the game as you both keep an eye on the clock while playing. Otherwise, game WILL drag on. This one part of the game is what can make a defensive game STILL be fun.
3: 200 points. You need to play with 200 point squads or you (sorry) aren’t really playing X-Wing as it’s meant to be. If you’re going 1 X-Wing against 2 TIE fighters, where is the danger of being out-maneuvered? Who cares if you wind up in a bad spot and the other person’s entire squad is shooting at you if the entire squad only rolls a total of 4 dice? If there isn’t any danger then what’s the point? You know what’s scary? (and you need to be scared to love this game) Having 8 red dice being rolled against your ship that has two hull left!
4: Lastly, variety. This is way last on the list, like it barely made it. Mrs Rick is happy to play the same list over and over again, so long as she crushes her enemies, sees them scattered before her, and hears the lamentation of their dice. But some people (like me) want to put lots of different things on the table and think that 4 X-Wings by themselves look boring.
That’s it, have fun.