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The Misfortunes of the Mechanized-Cleric or Fortunately I knew what I was getting into


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#1 SolennelBern

SolennelBern

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Posted 09 April 2013 - 10:14 AM

Everything was perfect. The mood was there, the stars aligned and the euphoric liquids were served.

Being the experienced elder I was the first to venture forth. My first mission was to kill an ork anywhere on the outer ring.

*****
I decided to go THAT way and landed on some ork small camp. One single ork stormed me wearing some sort of explosive hits canceling gear. I think it was made by his mother since I definitely read on the collar "Soldered with Love".

He came at me hard, I readied my web gun and BANG! a gear fell of my elbow. The pile of green stuff just laughed and stomped me on the head. I almost lost my eyeglass.

*****
After some rest and repairs I got my stuff and gone THIS way. Came across a frail Eldar patrol composed of 2 weird looking dudes…or dudettes…really can't tell. My awesome cunning will take care of these I say, right?

I was prepared and felt overly positive about the future but then I lost a gear from my knee. I fell in the thinker position and got beamed in the forehead.

*****
Then a Rogue Trader stole my webgun.

*****
Now knowing that someone was clearly playing with me I pushed my luck at the Portal. Got there and had the pleasant surprise of finding a single Eldar loner taking some kind of alien piss by a bush.

No chance to take here and my cunning must not fell me. In some passionate swing I managed to hit the Eldar right in the dome, twice just to make sure. That was enough for me to gather some insight from this fight and felt a bit better with myself.

Before getting on the road again I did a checkup of my mechanized suit, unscrewed my stuff, washed it, reinstalled, rebooted, flashed the BIOS, rebooted, installed wargear drivers, rebooted, installed wrong version, uninstalled, rebooted, installed good version, rebooted and off I was!

*****
Next stop, OVER THERE! But oops, some huge ork warchief appeared to greet me. Didn't looked so pleased so I approached him the same way I would approach a bear: walking slowly towards him and screaming like a possessed harpy. Didn't work and got smashed right on the eyeglass.

Glad I bring another set.

*****
Bloodied as I was there was no turning back. Got back to that damn explosive protected ork from day 1 to take my revenge. I was up and runing and spilling all kinds of juice like Hansel and Gretel would do with some bread. Hard to hide my way but who cares, i'm going down anyways.

I need to do that damn mission if I want the Emperor on my side!

But then I got both of my feet smashed in jelly.

*****
Then I woke up in the Sanctuary and got back on me feet in no time.

*****
Then got knocked out.

*****
Then I woke up in the Sanctuary and got back on me feet in no time.

*****
Then got knocked out.

*****
Then I woke up in the Sanctuary and got back on me feet in no time.

*****
Then got knocked out.

*****
Then I woke up in the Sanctuary and got back on me feet in no time.

*****
Then got knocked out.

*****
Then the Rogue Trader won…and I was still looking to kill my first ork.


FIN






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