...I read the rules, and it suddenly occurred to me that I might actually be able to play this with my grandmother. It might take a few plays to get some kind of strategy (or any kind of strategy) for us, but the rules are pretty simple in execution, and the arrows follow a fairly basic "bedtime story". (It's possible to even play without the board if you memorize the relationships by the card pictures.) If she likes it, I could just leave it at her place if I can't find any other players.
Now I'm really eager to see how this plays in practice, because my head is just running theory after theory, and that's not really doing me any good.