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You know you've played too much Dark Heresy when...

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#1 Headhanger



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Posted 26 November 2008 - 11:54 PM

My brother recently said "This [Dark Heresy] is sort of... becoming... an obsession for you isn't it?" My reply was "What do you mean sort of? Haven't you noticed that I bring it up in almost every conversation?" It's true. Sometimes I'll just be standing there, behind someone, armed with a rulebook and some notes, grinning and staring into the middle distance.

They tell me I have a "problem" (but they don't realise that I can give it up whenever I want). But I wonder if I'm alone?

You know you've played too much Dark Heresy when...

1) Answering the telephone at work, you say "Adeptus Mechanicus...?" instead of "IT Support...?" You also blame most problems on "unruly machine spirits", much to the bafflement of your co-workers.

2) Everywhere you go, you carry an imaginary bolt pistol or chainsword.

3) When passing a church, or other religious building, you wonder how the worshippers' within will react when the Imperium arrives to reclaim this planet and turn their beliefs into Imperially scantioned cults.

4) All your friends can hear while you're playing Gears of War 2 on co-op with them is "FOR THE EMPEROR!" and, when you find the flamethrower, "BURN THE HERETIC! BURN THE MUTANT! BURN THE XENOS!"

5) Your most debated subject amongst friends is the noise las weapons make.

#2 Hellebore



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Posted 27 November 2008 - 12:01 AM

When watching movies you wonder if the penetration on the guns used is accurate

You start to think that maybe, just maybe, you wouldn't die from one bullet to the face if you're tough enough

You think that 'Chibi' is an alien race of neotenised humanoid xenos attempting to conquer the world from their secret base in Japan

When someone throws something at you and misses, it's because you passed your dodge test

That your dad's chainsaw could totally be wielded one handed to purge the neighbour's barking dog





#3 Ikkaan



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Posted 27 November 2008 - 12:19 AM

- You are constantly searching Deviantart for new artwork to use as a handout
- Booting up your excruciatlingly slow computer makes you mumble "Needs more dakka"...
- When lectured by your inquisitor (oops: project manager) you suddenly realize that your gritting teeth produce exactly the same sound.
- Checking the schedule for "Disciples of the Dark Gods" thrice daily

#4 Snidesworth



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Posted 27 November 2008 - 12:25 AM

With the mention of GoW2...


-Realising the Hammerburst Assault Rifle (the locust one) is essentially a bolter and refusing to use anything else for the rest of the game.


And then there's the general GM scheming on the bus into work each day.

#5 Zearoth Kilrathle

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Posted 27 November 2008 - 02:03 AM

Oh, how ashamed am I that all these are, in fact, true.

-In concerts, when everyone is going "Woooo!" or whatever, you go "Waaaaaagh!".

-Incidentally, you really do go "Waaaaaagh!" when in a moss-pit.

-You have modified a shirt so it has an Ork symbol and a "Waaaaagh!" on the front, with a tribal "Red makes me fastah!" in the back.

-When doing well in shooting games, including Paintball, you go "Dakka! Dakka! Dakka!".

-In the middle of making out, your significant other suddenly asks you about WH40K trivia.

Or maybe I just think too much about Orkz, but what can I do when they're made out of awesome?


P.S.: Yeah, I also call computers Machine Spirits at times.

#6 Evilscary



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Posted 27 November 2008 - 02:20 AM

I must admit I've taken to roaring "HERESY!" whenever someone disagrees with me or something goes wrong.
Mostly I do this around my friends, who know what I'm talking about, but i've even started doing it at work now!

#7 ChaosChild



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Posted 27 November 2008 - 02:37 AM

When your main criteria for a new car is the colour, because red ones go faster.

#8 Santiago



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Posted 27 November 2008 - 02:45 AM


* You burn your manager for speaking back to you...

* If someone tells you your wrong you answer with:HERESY!!!

* You pray to the machine spirit of your laptop to work...

#9 Vespers



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Posted 27 November 2008 - 03:45 AM

*To ensure your mind is clean, you keep your thoughts pure and recite prayers and litanies of cleanliness and sanitation at least twice aday.

*You've distanced yourself from any Wiccans you've known as you now come to realize they have been touhced by the warp.

*Anyone displaying the slightest of flu-like symptoms you immediately suspect of, at worst, being warp touched, or, at best, cowardice. Either way, you find it imparitive to report these individuals to your commisar.

*The ladies at the bookstore know you by name, not from conversation, but by virtue of calling your answering machine so often to let you know your latest order has arrived.

*You realize as your typing a response to this board topic, you've paid far too close attention to the Imperial Infantyman's Uplifting Primer and no where near enough on the project you're supposed to be completing by now.

#10 Frisax



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Posted 27 November 2008 - 04:09 AM

  •  you have incense burners by your laptop, and never boot it up without first lighting them and them and offering a prayer in dog-latin (High Gothic) to its machine spirit
  • you watch characters in a horror film and immediately say to your friend/girlfriend or whoever else you're watching it with "he epic failed his fear test"
  • you immediately decide that the main character in Sleepy Hollow is an arbitrator, his mother is a rogue psyker, and his father is an Ordo Hereticus Inquisitor.

#11 Huros



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Posted 27 November 2008 - 07:42 AM

it is problem when christmas hols is going to become the Feast of the Empra's ascencion.


#12 Cervantes3773



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Posted 27 November 2008 - 09:23 AM

...you've never gotten out of the habit of calling Halo's Warthogs Rhinos.


...You never type a capital "I" without smirking

#13 Karmatech



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Posted 27 November 2008 - 02:57 PM

.. you call the car who cuts you off in traffic a 'DH', and really confuse yourself...


#14 aethel



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Posted 27 November 2008 - 03:45 PM

You are anticipating the upcoming shopping day tomorrow (Black Friday) not for the massive after-Thanksgiving discounts, but to scour the local game stores to see if any of them have received DotDG.

You are also cursing them to the warp for not opening at 5 am like the other retailers.

#15 Kage2020



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Posted 27 November 2008 - 06:04 PM


...You start or reply to threads of this nature? 

(I'm playing.  I've laughed at many of the replies thus far!)


#16 Nerd King

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Posted 27 November 2008 - 11:43 PM

...yesterday your non-gamer wife looks for and buys you a suprise gift of a Dan Abnett omnibus without even asking for it or mentioning you wanted one.

#17 Wu Ming

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Posted 28 November 2008 - 12:49 AM

Your wife has to stop you during an analogy, used to discuss contempoary ethics, politics or theology with 'wait is this a Warhammer thing.. ?'

...and 7 times out of 10 it is.

#18 Locque



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Posted 28 November 2008 - 01:01 AM

Sadly I do in fact do both of these IRL:

You say "Heresy" when people disagree with you.

You quote Eisenhorn at any applicable point.


I equipped my group's inquisitor with a custom Armsman-10 since it's a copy of a Scipio ZOMG EISENHORN (he also chambers manstopper rounds)

Actually it's really a Scipio. Because I said so, and the GM is God.

#19 Nerd King

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Posted 28 November 2008 - 01:16 AM

Wu Ming said:

Your wife has to stop you during an analogy, used to discuss contempoary ethics, politics or theology with 'wait is this a Warhammer thing.. ?'

...and 7 times out of 10 it is.


Okay - that's me too.

#20 Headhanger



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Posted 30 November 2008 - 11:34 PM

I was doodling in a sketchbook on Saturday and after an hour or so found I had accidentally illustrated the horrible logistics of the Tephaine system where my campaign is taking place.

Almost every blank piece of paper in my office has a servo-skull or techpriest drawn on it.

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