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You know you're playing Rogue Trader when…


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#121 jabberwoky

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Posted 26 January 2014 - 11:48 PM

When the Rogue Trader hat has melta weapons on it.

-When the Rogue Trader has semi-automatic melta weapons on it.


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#122 Magnus Grendel

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Posted 27 January 2014 - 04:24 AM

When the Explorator uses 'tazering people with Luminen shock' as her primary means of communication.


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#123 CaptainStabby

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Posted 02 February 2014 - 02:30 AM

During Chargen...

 

RT Player - Ooohh, it says I get a Xeno-Pelt cloak, can it be Eldar?

Eldar Player - I hate you.

 

later...

 

Me - Ok, so you two need to talk and figure out why you have a scuzzy space elf on your ship.

RT Player - Well I figure I just left a trail of jellybeans into the ship and he followed them and we just kept him.

Eldar Player - I hate you.

 

I predict this going well in the future.


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#124 Magnus Grendel

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Posted 03 February 2014 - 04:19 AM

Quote from last mission.

 

Explorator leaves to discuss "the arcane mysteries of the omnissiah" with the garrison of a remote mechanicus outpost. The Rogue Trader and his seneschal (hoping to bag a supply contract and refit agreement out of this) are left kicking their heels in the well-appointed waiting area along with other supplicants and assorted mechanicus flunkies.

 

Five minutes later, the explorator runs back past them at full tilt with no explanation. As she passes them, she yells "Not My Fault Not My Fault Not My Fault!!!!!!!".  The other two explorers start running after her as fast as they can on general principles. A few seconds later, a full five-strong cohort of cybernetica battle-engines gone homicidal thunder through the wall, firing at everything that moves.


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#125 IndianaWalsh

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Posted 03 February 2014 - 02:28 PM

-The phrase "negligent genocide" comes up regularly.

-The ship's chaplain regularly bisects Orks in one swipe with his SPACE CHAINSAW BATTLEAXE.

-Enemy ships almost never get salvaged because the alcoholic gunner has a strange obsession with lancing warp cores.

-By decree of the captain, the ship's First Officer is a cat named Vice Admiral Whiskers.


Edited by IndianaWalsh, 03 February 2014 - 02:29 PM.

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#126 Cultadium

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Posted 08 February 2014 - 08:07 PM

-The tech priest has gone insane, the archmilitant's turned to chaos, the Rogue Trader's started eating people, the Pilot's been reprogrammed by the probe from Lure of the Expanse to be more lenient when dealing with the heretical and the Big Mek is the only member of the party that seems to still have a grasp on reality.


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#127 BaronIveagh

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Posted 09 February 2014 - 03:53 PM

When high anchorage over your Rogue Trader's colony world is so packed with ships it can be mistaken for Cypra Mundi....



#128 Mordechai Von Razgriz

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Posted 09 February 2014 - 04:24 PM

>When you know that one of your player, captain of a mere frigate - that is NOT the dynasty flagship- is currently single-handlely curbstomping the WAAGGHHHH over Damaris, after making the WURLDBREAKA run away...

 

>When the estimated firepower and durability of the dynasty flagship, at the last  tIthe evaluation from the Adeptus Terra, is " sector battlefleet."

 =====> especially considering the amount of money the dynasty pour on it to keep him (don't him a She! ever!) in pristine conditions, you can found quite a fleet.

 

> When space battles involve more space ships than a 2k pts Battlefleet gothic battle... or even more than the number of Space marines in W40k 2k pts army.

 

> When the gamesmaster is seriously considering adapting Horde rules for Spaceships.


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Cum historia mutat valde, Razgriz revelat ipsum; Primum Monstrum scelestus est.
Cum potentia sua Monstrum fondet mortem in terram, Deinde moritur.
Cum somnus finit, Razgriz surget iterum, Magnus heros est.

Game Master of http://excathedra.forum-gratuit.net/, Rogue Trader PbP campaign.


#129 Robomummy

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Posted 10 February 2014 - 07:36 AM

When the Ork Hed of Sekurity is smarter than the rogue trader.

 

When you have to explain to your characters why their ork can't travel to the planet via catapult (but they believe they can breath in space).

 

When your tech priest and ork characters regularly sit down for civil debates on how to make the ship go faster.


Edited by Robomummy, 10 February 2014 - 07:37 AM.

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#130 Erathia

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Posted 10 February 2014 - 01:12 PM

When you have to explain to your characters why their ork can't travel to the planet via catapult (but they believe they can breath in space).

 

You know it's Rogue Trader when your players immediately spend the better part of an hour coming up with an elaborate plan to make such an action work.


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Citizens of Grace! We have defeated both the Dark Eldar and Ork menaces that threatened your system! We need no thanks nor payments, so long as you do not leave the atmosphere during our salvage operations under pain of death! - Jequin Hos of The Hos Dynasty


#131 jabberwoky

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Posted 10 February 2014 - 02:28 PM

You know it's Rogue Trader when your players immediately spend the better part of an hour coming up with an elaborate plan to make such an action work.

-And you definitely know it's Rogue Trader when those plans run counter to what the GM planned for that day...

Edited by jabberwoky, 10 February 2014 - 02:28 PM.

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#132 Mordechai Von Razgriz

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Posted 10 February 2014 - 04:25 PM

 

You know it's Rogue Trader when your players immediately spend the better part of an hour coming up with an elaborate plan to make such an action work.

-And you definitely know it's Rogue Trader when those plans run counter to what the GM planned for that day...

 

And it is confirmed when the Gamemaster's solution to this is "Throw problems to your players in bulk, do not even bother to think about solutions. They'll pull crazy things to solve your problems, or find spectacular & hilarious ways to fail. both paths are entertaining for everyone."


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Cum historia mutat valde, Razgriz revelat ipsum; Primum Monstrum scelestus est.
Cum potentia sua Monstrum fondet mortem in terram, Deinde moritur.
Cum somnus finit, Razgriz surget iterum, Magnus heros est.

Game Master of http://excathedra.forum-gratuit.net/, Rogue Trader PbP campaign.


#133 Bluefox40k

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Posted 16 March 2014 - 01:47 PM

When the RT`s personal Deathwatch kill team decides to rewrite the ultra marine codex, send it to Ultramar and blame Thaddeus Hakk.
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#134 Annaamarth

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Posted 17 March 2014 - 02:43 PM

-When the RT's personal chapter of sponsored Reasonable Marines rewrite the Codex Astartes, send it to Ultramar, claim responsibility and include the post-script "Come at us, battle-bros..."

 

-... and the Ultramarines decline the challenge, based on the fact that they had enough trouble with the tyrannids and don't think that they can do anything about the RT's fleet of warships...

 

-... and Logan Grimnar stops by because he heard about this new book, and he wanted to discuss it over drinks.

 

-When the Officio Assassinorum refuses services to the Tricorn Palace because they're tired of losing operatives in the Koronus Expanse...

 

-... and the Seneschal says "Just as planned" as he makes overtures towards sponsoring Callidus and Vindicare satellite temples on one of the moons in the RT's base system.


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RIP AND TEAR THROUGH THE TIDE OF BLOOD WITH BATTLESUIT PILOT. SUPLEX HIVE TYRANTS. DO WHATEVER, YOU'RE PILOTING A HUGE-ASS MECHA.

 -Errant, on how Rogue Trader ought to be played


#135 Magnus Grendel

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Posted 27 March 2014 - 07:19 AM

...Your rogue trader declares war on other species based on fashion trends and which looted xenotech weapon it's 'in' to be seen wielding this season....

 

...Your explorator points out he could have made an original of said xenotech weapon which was at least as high a quality as anything you'd get from the corpses of said species....


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#136 MorioMortis

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Posted 27 March 2014 - 09:24 AM

You know you are playing Rogue Trader when ...

- Your Navigator's house doesn't want him to come back because despite his mastery of theThird Eye being legendary across the sector, and his genes are clearly superior, they are pretty sure he has stopped qualifying as Homo sapiens a long time ago, no matter how generous you get.

- When the Explorator decides to finally remove the last shreds of human brain he has left because all his mechadendrites are making headtubes awfully annoying, and the rest of the crew can swear he became more emotional and empathic than he was before.

- When said Explorator knowingly disregards history and the end of the Human Golden Age at the hands of the Men of Iron by integrating stasis stabilized necrodermis in his mechanical shell to counter the corrupting influence of Chaos on AI.

- When this is the least heretical thing he's done in a while

- When your Explorator has exterminated more species by accident while testing new hardware on non-profitable planets than most Magos Biologis know off.

- When your Ship's Confessor has converted arch-heretics back to the Emperor's light out of sheer fear of His Holy Wrath at the end times.

- When you're pretty sure your Confessor is a living saint (and is probably the patron saint of burmination), but nobody says anything because the last ones where incinerated for worshiping false idols by said Confessor.
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The stupid must be bashed upon the head with the Mallet of Wisdom until their heads are inflated with knowledge.

 

Words to live (and die) by : "I have officially Been out-rogue tradered!  As always, one must always assume that no matter how grand your plan is, it's never enough!" - RogalDorn1


#137 Rivlis

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Posted 28 March 2014 - 02:39 PM

- When the loss of the Navigator constitutes justification to learn how to summon daemonhosts

 

- When the loss of Astropath just means that a daemonhost choir is now required


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#138 Kasatka

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Posted 29 March 2014 - 07:56 AM

When the Rogue Trader with a toughness bonus of 1 (yup, it hurt!) finally earns enough  corruption, fails the malignancy test and gets the one and only mutation that increases his wounds by 10 and doubles his size... he ended up with 18 wounds and of bodybuilder proportions :D


Only the insane have strength enough to prosper.

Only those that prosper may truly judge what is sane.


#139 Halladall

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Posted 29 March 2014 - 06:53 PM

...When the nymphomanic Navigator has to take Scholastic Lore [Human Reproduction] +20% in order to find new ways to satisfy his Lady Captain, The Astropath, and about 10% of the ships crew. 

 

...When said Navigator has to take Forbitten Lore [Xenos and Mutants] for similar reasons.

 

...When the Explorator has taken the Chem-geld trait in order to avoid the Naviagtors advances and the Navigator refuses to accepts this fact and continuously hits on him anyway.


Edited by Halladall, 30 March 2014 - 10:04 AM.

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#140 Halladall

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Posted 29 March 2014 - 07:00 PM

...When Bishop Palar in his conversation with the party, mentions that; quote "Everything i do, i do for the Emperor." And the mutant Void Master responds with; Quote "I will stipulate to that, the next time you go to the bathroom."


Edited by Halladall, 30 March 2014 - 10:05 AM.

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