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#21 antijoke_13

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Posted 20 July 2013 - 02:05 PM

Hey how much rage would I bring down on my head if I did one of these for the other 40k games?
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#22 TormDK

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Posted 20 July 2013 - 02:18 PM

Hey how much rage would I bring down on my head if I did one of these for the other 40k games?

 

None? If you posted them on their respective forums that is.



#23 MorioMortis

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Posted 20 July 2013 - 02:50 PM

Hey how much rage would I bring down on my head if I did one of these for the other 40k games?

 

No hate, but it's the sheer scale and old school lunacy of RT that makes it so zany. DH is all grimdark, DW is all "holier than thou" superman angel of death, OW is all grimdark, but in the trenches, and BC is like RT, except you do crazy stuff because of Chaos, not because you can.

 

But back on topic;

 

- When you seriously consider petitioning the Mechanicus to make one of your worlds a forge world so they can produce more stuff for your empire, and they agree, with a discount on future purchases.

 

- When people still want to deal with you favorably even though associates of yours tend to meet an untimely end because your enemies tend to meet a quicker death. Even the Inquisitors. Damn Inquisition, always snooping around where they shouldn't...

 

- When the Inquisition knows you have killed (or facilitated the death of) a dozen of their Inquisitors, but still deal with you because you have also helped eradicated dozens of chaos incursions, and your associates are experts on daemonology and Warp studies from their respective fields.

 

- When the Ordo Xeno accepts to work side by side with your Kroot bodyguard Cadre and the freeloading bunch of Ork Freebooters who follow the Explorator around (because "Ez got da biggest dakagun and ez da meanest and da biggest. Ez probably green unda da red and mechanikal bitz!") because your expertise with fighting wars in space and on the ground against uncommon xenos is unheard off since the Great Crusade.

 

- When you find a stash of ancient nuclear missiles, but decide to donate them to the Mechanicus as relics of the past because half your enemies don't care about radiation, and you have enough issues with mutations from Warp that you don't need more of them. Emperor knows the Navigator is already looking dubiously human.

 

- When the only reason you don't purchase Exterminatus devices from the Mechanicus is because you know that the Inquisition will bother you to no end over them, and a ship's weight of nova cannon shells is probably cheaper anyways.

 

- When you have to routinely remind your Explorator not to develop Exterminatus level weaponry because he has a tendency to "accidentally" test things he wasn't supposed to. 


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The stupid must be bashed upon the head with the Mallet of Wisdom until their heads are inflated with knowledge.

 

Words to live (and die) by : "I have officially Been out-rogue tradered!  As always, one must always assume that no matter how grand your plan is, it's never enough!" - RogalDorn1


#24 jabberwoky

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Posted 30 July 2013 - 08:02 PM

-When your Navigator refers to the Lathe Worlds as a "Shopping Mall"

 

-When your GM has to plan for: "4 hours game of time, 2 hours of shopping"

 

-When the GM has to explain why you can't get a Baneblade... yet.

 

-When the party seriously considers that each party member make separate checks to acquire said Baneblade.

 

-When the GM glares at the player, prompting the response "But it's only one..."

 

-When the Rogue Trader asks for his brown coat because he "Aims to misbehave."


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#25 Alasseo

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Posted 01 August 2013 - 05:03 PM

  • The arch-militant reads the wrong line of the chart and accidentally buys Bombards/Medusae instead of Basilisks and Gryphons
  • Plan B is several kilotons of high explosive more than plan A. Plan C is "Invade it from orbit".
  • The escalation of a stand-off goes Melee weapons>small arms>minions>minions with heavy weapons>tank and close air support>orbital bombardment>orbital bombardment while escaping via teleportarium>bigger ship>more ships>bigger hat.
  • The party dooms a sector to economic devastation through naked short-selling
  • The party dooms a sector to being eaten... by accident
  • Custom power armour, to accommodate the moustache.
  • Forbidden Lore (Fashion) becomes and actual skill. And plot relevant.
  • The seneschal sells a genestealer cult into slavery without realizing (should have taken Forbidden Lore (Fashion)...)

Edited by Alasseo, 01 August 2013 - 05:11 PM.

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There is no right, and no wrong, but having the bigger stick makes it so...


#26 CaptainRemiVandigrath

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Posted 01 August 2013 - 05:49 PM

Your Rogue Trader can acquire a new cruiser in 30 minutes: 10 minutes to order his ship to ramming speed, 10 minutes to swarm the ship with armsmen and assault boats (after nearly shearing the cruiser in half through ramming), then 10 minutes to fight to the bridge and personally duel the Captain for control of the ship.

Being insulted warrants a larger military response than an expedition to clear a void station of Chaos Worshippers
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(Play Report)The Frozen Reaches: Tobias Caine turns an Ork Warboss into a Chair: http://community.fan...s-into-a-chair/

 

Worthy Allies and Adversaries: http://community.fan...nd-adversaries/


#27 Morangias

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Posted 02 August 2013 - 02:20 AM

-When your Explorator informs you he just built a device theoretically capable of destroying the whole galaxy upon activation, your first question is: "How many shots does it have?".

 

-You're literally incapable of imagining a problem that you couldn't solve by throwing either more money or more firepower at it.

 

-Journals of your exploits would have been the best selling adventure thriller of all times - too bad Ordo Xenos decreed them "for the eyes of the Inner Circle only".

 

-It's not certain that a working, uncorrupted STC is impossible to find all across the galaxy - you probably have one on your ship, except it's stuck in some forgotten cargo hold nobody knows about.

 

-Leaders of the Achillus Crusade regularly petition you to support their cause, but you politely decline them because "Tyranids aren't lootable".

 

-Inquisitors like to think they surround themselves with exceptional, if peculiar, individuals - until they meet your personal retinue.

 

-You keep petitioning the Inquisition and Adeptus Astra Telepathica to send you a personal sanctioning team, because due to all the strange phenomena you encounter, wyrds pop up among your crew so often, sending them to the Black Ships becomes increasingly annoying - and you don't have a full squad of combat psykers yet.


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There is no truth in flesh, only betrayal.

There is no strenght in flesh, only weakness.
There is no constancy in flesh, only decay.
There is no certainty in flesh but death.


#28 MorioMortis

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Posted 04 August 2013 - 02:11 PM

-Journals of your exploits would have been the best selling adventure thriller of all times - too bad Ordo Xenos decreed them "for the eyes of the Inner Circle only".

 

Someone over at the RPG.net boards did a pretty good job of doing that: http://forum.rpg.net...redibly-Wealthy


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The stupid must be bashed upon the head with the Mallet of Wisdom until their heads are inflated with knowledge.

 

Words to live (and die) by : "I have officially Been out-rogue tradered!  As always, one must always assume that no matter how grand your plan is, it's never enough!" - RogalDorn1


#29 jabberwoky

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Posted 04 August 2013 - 04:27 PM

-When the Void-Master wishes to be a master of all vehicles and modes of transportation, he gets huffy when he learns that the new, smaller, faster ship doesn't have room for his collection of dinosaurs.

 

-The words "Seneschal" and "Ferengi" become functionally interchangeable.

 

-When the rest of the crew, by mutual agreement and cybernetic safeguards, bans the Navigator from saying the word "Oops" over the ship's PA system.

 

-The Missionary becomes displeased with his various flamers and melta guns and becomes obsessive about topics of geology.  No one bats an eye when it's revealed he's doing this research only to weaponize volcanoes.

 

-When the definition of Explorator changes from "Seeker of Archaeotech" to "Archaeotech Implant Specialist"

 

-Second most frightening thing on-board a ship: an Astropath with a pair of googly-eye glasses.

 

-Most frightening thing on-board a ship: a summons to the Arch-Militant's "rumble room".

 

-When the Rogue Trader swears he will not rest until he finds the legendary treasure of a Xeno tyrant known only as "Scrooge McDuck".


Edited by jabberwoky, 04 August 2013 - 04:28 PM.

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#30 Erathia

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Posted 04 August 2013 - 06:36 PM

- Your Explorator makes an Acquisition for thousands of servoskulls and frag grenades, and prepares to re-enact Megamind's battle plans.

 

- Your Crew Reclamation Facility is converted to produce more servoskull bombs

 

- Every mission ever begins with a cost/benefit analysis of whether or not it's worth it to just shoot the person who is offering you a job.

 

- Your Navigator has mastered Warp Travel to such a degree that you begin using his ability to commit effective insider trading based on the latest Nephium returns from Lucin's Breath.

 

- Your players have a horrible moment of realisation that the NPC whose actions they've been complaining about and saying are unrealistic is just copying things they've done at various points in their careers.


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Citizens of Grace! We have defeated both the Dark Eldar and Ork menaces that threatened your system! We need no thanks nor payments, so long as you do not leave the atmosphere during our salvage operations under pain of death! - Jequin Hos of The Hos Dynasty


#31 Night10194

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Posted 05 August 2013 - 04:52 PM

-Your priest tries to distract an ancient AI with prattle about the Emperor and ends up baptizing and converting it.

 

-Your party starts the game with more lifelong and world-shattering enemies than all your other 40k RPGs combined.

 

-You can actually tell an Inquisitor to go screw himself and survive.

 

-Space Marines owe you favors.

 

-Your hat is *fantastic*.


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#32 Morangias

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Posted 06 August 2013 - 12:48 AM

-The words "Seneschal" and "The Goddamn Batman" become functionally interchangeable.

Fixed it for you.


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There is no truth in flesh, only betrayal.

There is no strenght in flesh, only weakness.
There is no constancy in flesh, only decay.
There is no certainty in flesh but death.


#33 jabberwoky

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Posted 06 August 2013 - 01:10 PM

-When your Explorator informs you he just built a device theoretically capable of destroying the whole galaxy upon activation, your first question is: "How many shots does it have?".

Then your next question is "How long does it take to reload?"


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#34 Morangias

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Posted 06 August 2013 - 04:37 PM

- Your Explorator makes an Acquisition for thousands of servoskulls and frag grenades, and prepares to re-enact Megamind's battle plans.

 

- Your Crew Reclamation Facility is converted to produce more servoskull bombs

Funny, my last Explorator did just that.

 

Back to the listing:

 

-You can do very unreasonable things for profit, but you always do incredibly stupid things just because someone dared you.

 

-You wage wars on entire species not because it's so profitable, but because you want to collect full sets of their equipment in pristine condition for your trophy room.

 

-The Missionary was never happier than when you installed the detachable, orbitally dropped cathedral on your ship for him...

 

-...except maybe when he learned that with a bit of practice and Void-Master's help, it can be precisely dropped on the heathen temple.

 

-In commemoration of that event, the first religious hymn the newly converted locals learned is a High Gothic version of "ding dong the witch is dead". The melody is more bombastic, of course.


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There is no truth in flesh, only betrayal.

There is no strenght in flesh, only weakness.
There is no constancy in flesh, only decay.
There is no certainty in flesh but death.


#35 Generaljimbo

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Posted 07 August 2013 - 12:52 PM

- Your Astropath chooses to use a fate point to re-roll his Willpower test because he "wants the insanity points".

 

- Said Astropath spends more time in combat unconscious, something the rest of the party are quite happy about as their guns jam considerably less for some reason.

 

- Despite refusing to wear even a shirt your aged and frail Astropath easily survives a heavy bolter round the the chest and simply gets up and dusts himself off in his next action.

 

- Said Astropath does himself more damage pushing his powers than being shot by enemy heavy weapons.

 

- Despite not really needing it your Astropath (after having been shot in the chest) gets the ships medi-servitor to rebuild his chest with sub dermal armour so he doesn't have to wear "anything restrictive" (i.e. Anything - not that he did anyway) but really because he can "have a six pack for the first time in over a century".

 

- Your Arch Millitant goes toe to toe with a arco-flagellant and tears it apart in 3 rounds.


Edited by Generaljimbo, 07 August 2013 - 12:58 PM.

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#36 Tenebrae

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Posted 07 August 2013 - 04:17 PM

- When the PCs wake up with a hangover, realizing that they have been Press ganged – by their own, oblivious, crew.

 

- And the (still oblivious) crewman trying to get the new recruits to work then gets beaten to within an inch of his life, just to teach him to be more careful next time (that, and the Arch-Militant was in a bad mood).

 

- When the Acolytes working undercover (or so they thought)on your ship gets called up to talk to the Rogue Trader, who wants to make sure that they’ve covered up their involvement with an Offworlder properly– because otherwise it might reflect badly on the RT.  

 

- When the Sub-sector Governor refuses to acknowledge a world as yours, and you take that as an excuse to recruit just enough Tech-Priest from his world to make it felt in the everyday life.

 

- When you hire a Nobleborn from a world to act as a guide, and end up recruiting the whole family for various jobs that pop up.

 

- When you buy a Courier-Company because that the easiest way to find out who send you an anonymous message.

 

- When it turns up the Security-Team the Senechal put together on your newest ship consists of Tzeench-worshippers (… but they were so good at the job!)

 

- When the RT shoots the newest colony back to a more useful size after it rioted.

 

- When the RTs Hat! needs Graviton-platings and a Powersuit to be held in place.

 

- When you have to drop an ‘investment’ because the various schemes it involved got so complex the Seneschal lost track of the original goal.

 

- When everyone actively involved with buying equipment desperately tries to get Peer(Adeptus Mechanicus), Good Reputation(Adeptus Mechanicus)… and everything else that might give a bonus.

 

- When you have to come up with a financial excuse to help someone - can't let it be known that you're doing something out of the goodness of your heart!


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#37 jabberwoky

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Posted 07 August 2013 - 04:28 PM

- Your Arch Millitant goes toe to toe with a arco-flagellant and tears it apart in 3 rounds.

- Then the arch-militant curses under his breath because his personal best was victory in two rounds.

 

- When the explorers cause an inter-stellar war because of the Rogue Trader's desire for another Trader's hat.

 

-The Seneschal is vehemently against creating a "Rapture"-style colony, not because it isn't profitable, but because it could eventually create some better at economics than him.

 

-When your group has created an imperial guard regiment, the Administratum states that your unit's spare uniform budget is equivalent to the cost of a Baneblade.

 

-After which, the players attempt to trade their guard regiment for said Baneblade to save money.


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#38 htsmithium

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Posted 09 August 2013 - 05:21 PM

you've scavanged so many componets off of chaos ships your Explorator is prety sure he can make abbodon's planet killer, just better.


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 ding dong mala mortuus est,

quem veteres strigam

impii strigam

ding dong impiorum strigam mortuus est.


#39 jabberwoky

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Posted 10 August 2013 - 01:12 AM

-When an endeavor begins with the Rogue Trader throttling some minor noble, shouting "I'm richer than you and can blow up your house. Don't you want my help?!?"

 

-When the Seneschal walks into a room, everyone instinctively grabs their wallet to make sure it's still there.

 

-When you encounter the Strixis, their customary greeting to you is "Shut up and take my money!"

 

-When poker games require chips of pure gold the size of monster truck tires.


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#40 MorioMortis

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Posted 10 August 2013 - 12:42 PM

- When your flagship is so filled with archeo/xeno/daemon/Explorator home brewed tech, and covered in so much bling, that it is not recognizable as Imperial, Martian or Xeno, and the Imperial Navy doesn't believe you when you tell them it's yours.

 

- When said ship is perfectly legal according to your Warrant

 

- When the Imperial Navy, the Mechanicus and the Inquisition would love to seize your flagship to inspect it, but they are afraid you might get angry and destroy half the sector fleet with your multi-barreled nova cannon broadsides and swarm of phase-cloaked vortex torpedoes.

 

- When entire Ork WHAAAGH! have tried to invade your planets, only to bow down to your might because of the clear superiority of your hat over ever the greatest of Freebooters. That, and your complement of murder-servitors outnumber them 3 to 1 since the Explorator "improved" production.

 

- When your Explorator tries to convince you to go to the Jericho Reach and get a few Tyrannids for his latest bio-engineering experiments, and you are happy to do so because it might keep him distracted from his other plans for a while longer.

 

- When your Arch-Militant is giggling like a little girl at the idea of the Explorator's insane cross-breeding of Ork and Tyrannid genetic material inevitably become uncontrollable so he can have the honor of being the first person to kill one ever.

 

- When your Explorator's insane cross-breeding of Ork and Tyrannid genetic material inevitably become uncontrollable, and he resolves that forcibly inserting (possibly Warp-Tainted) necrodermis into their structure may result in a sufficient loss of reproductive instincts to make them somewhat controllable. Any related omnicidal pulsions would be an added bonus.

 

- When Necron Tomb Lords are afraid of your Explorator, not only because he has agreed to worse pacts and contracts than they ever have, but because his army of pariah gened servitors are a positive evolution over their immortal forms.

 

- When all three major inquisitorial branches are bickering over who should have the responsibility of dealing with the clearly heretical acts of your Explorator, and everybody is trying to place the responsibility on someone else because they don't want to get whipped out by blank, chamelonine coated murder cyborgs.

 

- When your Senechal manages to convince the Ecclesiarchy and a bunch of Puritan Inquisitors that the daemon weapons he's selling are absolutely devoid of Chaotic taint.

 

- When your Senechal, through clever manipulation, liberal legal loophole abuse and clear disregard for the law, is theoretically a fully legal, ordained Inquisitor, with full access to the Tricorn, all the while having never conducted any operations for the Inquistion.

 

- When your Void Master insists on buying a new Universe class transport to carry his vehicle collection.

 

- When your Void Master routinely goes around in a Warp Spider suit "because it's AWESOME" and allows him to teleport to the cockpit of his vehicles without opening the doors.

 

- When your Void Master is a better jetbike pilot than both the Wild Riders of Saim-Hann and Kabalite raiders, and has customized his jetbike to allow him to ride it while also wearing his jump pack.


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The stupid must be bashed upon the head with the Mallet of Wisdom until their heads are inflated with knowledge.

 

Words to live (and die) by : "I have officially Been out-rogue tradered!  As always, one must always assume that no matter how grand your plan is, it's never enough!" - RogalDorn1





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