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Your Funny Deathwatch Storys.


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#21 Calgor Grim

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Posted 20 December 2013 - 06:24 AM

One amusing moment I had was someone recently taking the absolute mickey using psyker abilities. I'd created a custom weapon for a librarian to use in my game, a relic tier force sword capable of opening a gate of infinity a couple of times per session at a fixed PR of 4 and only good for personal use. The group were then about to enter a tank battle, pitching their tanks versus the great enemy. The Librarian went with an Apothecary in a Predator, while the rest took a Land Raider and Air support another way.

 

So the predator got separated and took a bit of a hammering from enemies, and was about to get a lot worse when, rolling over the horizon, came an enemy land raider. In a moment of pure genius which to this day I have not found anything to beat, the librarian opted to use gate of Infinity from their Land Raider and apparate inside the enemy Land Raider. Since it doesn't technically say you need line of sight or anything to use the original power, I let him get away with it because the group were laughing too hard for me to say no. So he appears inside a Chaos Land Raider, slaughters the heretical crew and then commandeers it. They were not able to get a message out either that their tank had been stolen so he was quite happy rolling the other way back through enemy lines and nobody batted an eyelid!

 

It then got worse when he finally got rumbled by another enemy tank which opened fire. He used it again to jump into a second tank, took out the crew but this time rather than move on, he opened fire on one of the enemy armour, waited for them to start returning fire and used the final charge of the blade to get out of the vehicle entirely allowing them to blow up an undriven vehicle!


Loyal Missionary Father Grim of the Kingston 293rd Storm Troopers


#22 pearldrum1

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Posted 22 December 2013 - 08:16 AM

I think the most funny moment I had in my campaign was during an Tyranid invasion on a factory world.

 

When the Hive Tyrant entered the battlefield, the killteam went for an assault with an armored vehicle into the tyranid masses, supported by a fire corridor towards it from the Skitarii. Once there, the KT except the devastor left the vehicle to go for the Tyrant, he prefered to stay on the roof of the vehicle and throw his bolt rounds into the masses. As I didn't like him to stay out of the action too much(and they fought way to good against my hordes), I added a Harrdian with a horde of gargoyles attacking the devastor and their vehicle. As the harridan was approaching the devastor, who insisted on standing his ground stoic (his deamonour) it was getting closer and closer, until the harridan tried to gorge him. Instead of trying to evade, he went for the full movement inside it (successing multiple rolls for jump, evade teeth, resist acid etc.) and the next round, he gave it a full auto from the inside... imagine the faces of the rest of the KT, seeing their devastor getting swallowed by a harridan, only to return shorty after in a bloddy mess.

 

 

MOST. METAL. PLAYER. EVER.

 

What was his reward besides eternal glory?


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#23 Avdnm

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Posted 23 December 2013 - 04:58 AM

 

What was his reward besides eternal glory?

 

 

Not much besides a faith point and some extra renown till now, because the war is still going on and there hasn't been time to honour the KT for their actions.

But I guess this will get him an extra medal/award of some kind, haven't really figguered it out, yet. (If anyone will survive the war at all....)



#24 pearldrum1

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Posted 23 December 2013 - 06:54 AM

You should allow his PC to play Amon Amarth inside of his helm during missions.


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#25 Alrik Vas

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Posted 02 January 2014 - 06:45 PM

The following happened ages ago (and is only slightly dramatized), it's my old black templar character, he was a lot of fun.

 

Brother Gaius Stromvolg and his squire Goodwyn (Black Templar Assault/Kill Marine plus his neophyte) got attached to the kill team just before being sent to the frozen tundra of some war-torn world's polar ice caps to capture a recently discovered Imperator-class Titan before the dirty Ruinous Powers could get their mucky fingers all over it (the Mechanicus hadn't arrived yet).  One thing to point out here, Gaius is missing his left arm and has no cybernetics to replace it.

 

So through shot, shell and heretics alike, these two black templars are singing the Emperor's praises while they color the north pole red, Gaius hefting a power claymore with one arm and Goodwyn with his chainsword a-buzzin'.  It was like the whole thing was a joke to them until the kill team finally got to the "bunker" that was actually the cathedral tower of the Imperator's head.  That's when demons and the Word Barers popped out of every oraphice.

 

Gaius steps forward in a rush at seeing the Word Barer's banners appear, hefting his claymore with one arm, "I AM BROTHER GIAUS STROMVOLG OF THE BLACK TEMPLARS!  I HAVE COME TO KILL EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU RUINOUS POWER SUCKLING CURS AND I PROMISE A PAINFUL END!  YOU HAVE ONE CHANCE FOR THE EMPEROR'S MERCY AND THAT IS TO SEND THE LACKWIT WEARING THE DIABLODON TEETH FORWARD!"

There were a few things thrown at him at this point, a few bolter rounds fired, i think a krack missile barely missed.  Eventually this Word Barer with a necklace made of enormous sauroid teeth came forward to fight.

Gaius pointed his claymore at him, "YOU!  YOU WHORESPIT!  GIVE ME MY LEFT ARM BACK!"

 

Playing a Black Templar was so awesome.


Edited by Alrik Vas, 02 January 2014 - 06:47 PM.

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#26 Magnus Grendel

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Posted 06 January 2014 - 05:00 AM

Probably the worst moment we had was our librarian - widely acknowledged to be the most unlucky psyker in Imperial service.

Protecting an important imperial official (Administratum Quaestor Senioris) who had been targeted for assassination sounded easy; you can't get much better close body protection than four astartes, can you?

 

The expected attack came about halfway through the mission. Many goons with knives and small arms charged at the kill-team and most were gunned down in droves. One of them - one of a handful of professionals hidden in the angry mob - charged the librarian, pulling out a powered shortblade.

 

The librarian reacted by using the psychic power Iron Arm. With the bonus to parry, he easily deflected the attack.

If only the roll hadn't been a double.

 

If only the result hadn't been a warp vortex.

 

If only the vortex hadn't opened up to within a metre exactly where the protectee was standing, leading to him being dragged screaming into the immaterium.

 

The debriefing was amusing....


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#27 Ansalagon

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Posted 06 January 2014 - 12:53 PM

The debriefing was amusing....

I could imagine...  but please, don't spare us the details ;)

 

 

Well in our start-up phase, we ran training sessions (basicly we killed tyranids in the watch fortress), because the current squad-leader (me) figured it would smart to get the group to train a bit togeher to actually make a team out of them... as the homogaunts swarm at us, we kick ass... except our tech marine, who's misses his first burst against the horde... But next burst jam the bolter... and with the lack of firepower, we find ourselves in melee... Which isn't that bad for us... except our tech marine, who takes a beating, but with a chainsword and a servoarm STILL can't hit anything.. and then 4 of the bigger mosters attack us (raveners i think)... the first one fall to a burst of heavy-bolter fire... the rest we struggle with for two rounds in melee... Our tech marine gets help from our tactical marine, but he still neither hits or blocks... The tactical get trying to save our tech marine, gets pounced by ong of the (now two) remaining foes, and the rest of us struggle to free him, leaving our severely wounded Tech marine with a chance to restore his honor... rolling a 01!!! which unfortunately only result in hitting, but not damaging it... and our devestator casually draw his boltpistol, and kills it with a single hit...

While the rest of our squad are left with a few scrapes minor injuries, our tech marine has taken 17 damage and is barely standing.. without having drawn any blood in the "simple" training fight.... Leaving him to hope that the emperor was NOT watching... and My character as squad leader to fear what problems his presence might create for the squad....


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#28 pearldrum1

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Posted 06 January 2014 - 06:53 PM

He should have re-rolled a character on principle.



#29 Alrik Vas

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Posted 07 January 2014 - 07:45 AM

Or gone on sabbatical or something...


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#30 pearldrum1

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Posted 07 January 2014 - 05:17 PM

Or gone on sabbatical or something...

 

Yeah. At least a week of "me time" was in order for that one. Quick trip to Mars to really think some things through.



#31 Magnus Grendel

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Posted 08 January 2014 - 02:18 AM

I could imagine...  but please, don't spare us the details

 

They ended up trying to blame the assassination attempt on some fiendish psyker-assassin, whose abilities were such that he was able to slip in amongst the mob and the Librarian didn't sense him until it was too late. Unfortunately (with hindsight) they were convincing.

 

The risk of a high-powered renegade psyker working for Tau recidivists was deemed a critical risk, and the kill-team was diverted to hunting him down. Which was difficult, since (a) they made him up, and (b) they had the Ordo Hereticus looking over their shoulder and preventing them fabricating anything convincing to say that they'd 'killed' him. Which led to them being deployed on wild goose chases, getting thrown at recidivist cells in deeper and deeper and more and more dangerous bits of the undehive, for several weeks. Which in turn meant they were out of contact in one of the megastructure foundations when the Tau assault force actually did arrive...


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#32 Alrik Vas

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Posted 09 January 2014 - 10:32 PM

/facepalm



#33 Visitor Q

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Posted 10 January 2014 - 09:39 AM

Burning a fate point allows you to avoid death if it's feasible. Being naked in space for example would mean death can't be avoided. So falling so far, how did he manage to survive?

Plus I wouldn't allow burning a fate point to prevent suicidal actions. Any player that did that in my game, would be dead.

 

With an attitude like that you wouldn't make it past the trials part of joining a Space Marine Chapter.


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#34 The Glen

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Posted 01 February 2014 - 02:28 AM

Player was taking a Wrath of Corax assault marine, a Raven Guard successor with a heavy focus on ship to ship combat.  WOCs are okay on land but have tons of bonuses onboard ships.  Only problem was all of their adventures were on the ground and WOC assault marines don't get jump packs.  Then we got to Ark of Lost Souls.  The WOC turns to the other marines, gives them horrifically complicated instructions on attack patterns and how to handle all the bad guys.  The instructions involved using bolt pistols to maneuver in zero-g, running up walls and just being a bad ass in space.  The other marines meekly pointed out they couldn't pull off what he was ordering them to do.  The WOC just glared at them, "Why not?  I can!"

 

Another player was a Screaming Gecko Devastator, a chapter known for its insane bravado and complete lack of defensive strategies.  Intro adventure had a hive tyrant swoop down for 1d5 rounds of tossing marines around.  Only the Geckos are known for insane acts of courage and in their fluff they have instances of force feeding tyranids bags of grenades.  So this guy decides that he too is going to feed a hive tyrant a bag of krak grenades.  Called shots, massive penalties and he rolls a 05.  Wasn't enough to kill it outright, but made it decide that it needed to be somewhere else.  And it was all in character which made it even better.



#35 BigH

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Posted 01 February 2014 - 04:25 AM

My second ever session of role playing, I was a Tactical Marine, in a small group with one each of Assault and Devastator, all Raven Guard (it was linked to our tabletop campaign). We were hunting for a Black Legion Sorceror (the GM's tabletop HQ in my last few games, he would lose the game but Xandrek would always escape). After trying to sneak about in under hive tunnels, and failing, I fell on my face in front of two Legionaries and a Squad of taitor Guard. Had to be rescued, and took some in character abuse. At the end of the session though, having located Xandrek performing some dark ritual, we decided to attack. As we got to a position to attack, the ritual ended and a Deamon Prince burst from the warp. The Devastator let rip with his Heavy Bolter, doing some minor damage, the Assault Marine, obsessed with grenades, throws a Krak doing a bit of damage, and, last in initiative order and having listened to the GM tell us how screwed we are, I decided to heroically throw myself into close combat while my comrades escape. What happened was just ridiculous, I basically just kept rolling righteous fury, and sawed the Deamon Prince, a 10,000 year veteran, in half. With a combat knife. When the Grey Knights surprised us by teleporting in, having used us as bait, they stood around with nothing to do. :-)
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#36 Avdnm

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Posted 03 February 2014 - 02:21 AM

I always knew there should be a cap for righteous fury...



#37 Bwrighnar

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Posted 14 February 2014 - 01:53 PM

We have a Iron Hands librarian, a Blood angels Assault, a Dark Angels apothecary, a ultramarine Tech and a Space Wolf tactical. They are going in finding the BL in Oblivion´s edge, and they are in the narrow tunnel surrounded by small access hatches they could not use, but the stealers (for Us will ever be Ben Stilers) attack them through them.

The Ben Stilers begin to rip them in pieces, above all, the tac, armed only with a basic weapon... and a Knife.

 

That astartes knife killed about 20 Stillers, one after the other. 

 

When they came back, after the hive ship and all to Erioch, he asked Greyweaver to put a distortion field around it, and, after some Mead, and the proper saga, He obliged.

 

The tally is still building.



#38 Alrik Vas

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Posted 14 February 2014 - 07:16 PM

Sometimes...scout knives.

 

Keep'm coming, guys.



#39 ChazzK

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Posted 26 February 2014 - 02:23 PM

So playing more PbP games than live-action, my Deathwatch experience has thus far been limited (more folks seem interested in DH or RT for forum games) but this one is too good to pass up.

 

Imagine being the only assault marine amongst a group of ranged-happy tacticals, a devastator and a tech-marine. Yeah, sure, you've got a pistol, and once everything gets good and stuck in you're fine... Only problem is, the GM likes starting everything several hundred meters out. Every, single, encounter. Meaning the others have entire hordes chewed to nothing before I'm close enough to use my pistol reliably. For reference, the NPC group of Imperial Guard we rescued in the first encounter had a higher kill count thanks to their help in that one fight than I did for most of the fight. It was a little frustrating, and the GM "already had everything planned" and was unwilling to waver in the slightest. I resign myself to only picking things off randomly with my pistol, as even multiple turns of full-runs only means that I'm going to maybe get one melee attack in, if I'm lucky.

 

Then it finally happens. Tyranid tunnelers burst up right in the middle of the group on the ground whilst I'm on top of a nearby structure (hey, if I'm gonna be useless, I'll look awesome while being useless), knocking all of them prone since they've failed both perception to realize it's coming and dodge to avoid the eruption, and I realize my Storm Warden's time to shine has finally come. Thanks to Quick Draw I now have two roaring chainswords in my hands, it takes me even less time to drop to solo mode, and then I'm in the air. Wings of Angels is a rousing success, as is the charge. I even go ahead and trigger the Moment of Glory demeanor, as I'm descending on wings of fire as an avenging angel to save my battle brothers who are about to be super-ganked.

 

In two turns I reduce three melee-happy hormogaunts (I believe that's what they were) to paste. I then take a moment to remind my battle brothers exactly why I had been seconded to the Deathwatch, and that maybe perhaps they might want to save a few rounds and let me clean up their messes for them.

 

Sadly, the GM had to drop shortly after that, and no one else picked up the mantle. Just when I had finally gotten cool.


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#40 Alrik Vas

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Posted 26 February 2014 - 04:41 PM

Assault Marines *wipes a tear from his eye*






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